Monday, January 09, 2012

Maybe spring / 也許是春天


I went to the Asian grocery shop for buying condiments in the afternoon. Standing in front of shelves of familiar sauces, nostalgia for home hit against the shore of my heart. Plus the background Mando-pop, I might have collapsed. But, I didn't go to Hungary for nothing. Now I am clad in armor, as hard as steel.


On my way home, the blooming flowers planted in the yard of No. 263 caught my attention. Since coming back from Budapest, I have felt that it's just as warm as spring here in London. I even put on less clothing than Londoners. 


After shopping, I took the snack that Hui had mailed me to Myatt's Fields Park for doing today's sketch. Today some children, along with their parents, biked and played in the park, which felt kind of different from last time when I came. But it might be me that felt different. I chose a scene I'd like to draw and sat on a bench right next to a ball field. The black boys' screaming made me feel their excitement as well. Once a kid couldn't stop shouting, "Well done! Well done!" If this isn't spring, what can it be? I smelled a sunny late afternoon of a typical winter day in Taipei. I smelled the coming Chinese New Year. It was such a lovely day. I like to sketch in the modern cafe on the 7th floor of the Tate Modern, where it smells of coffee and tourists. However, I know that Myatt's Fields Park is where I belong. 


Today I started kind of late. The sky was going to get dark before I was done. I tried to race against the sunset. When drawing tangled branches, I recalled a boy in my class who stippled tons of whirls once. I only asked him "Are you ok?" after class. My lines are very wild, compared with his fine ones, though. 


When walking out of the park, the park ranger on his bike smiled and said to me, "We are about to close at 4:15 pm. I'll see you soon." I thought to myself, "You will." 


Rain or shine, I know from the depths of my heart how lucky I am to be able to do something I love without any worries here. Even when I am lonely or heartbroken, I cherish these emotions more dearly than anything else. Lately I've been counting down my days in London, not that I'll leave so soon, but that I hope I can be more serious about my life. I don't dislike London. In fact, the word love isn't enough to describe my days here. Not every place can make me turn myself inside out, and when I am totally exhausted, I still cling to my choice and say, "I want this kind of love!" 

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