Monday, January 09, 2012

Maybe spring / 也許是春天

下午去亞洲雜貨行買醬料,看到一整櫃熟悉的產品,思鄉的心情就這麼嘩一聲地朝我衝來,加上背景的華語音樂‧‧‧不過我去匈牙利度假不是去假的,現在的我像穿了盔甲,很強韌。

I went to the Asian grocery shop for buying condiments in the afternoon. Standing in front of shelves of familiar sauces, nostalgia for home hit against the shore of my heart. Plus the background Mando-pop, I might have collapsed. But, I didn't go to Hungary for nothing. Now I am clad in armor, as hard as steel.


回家經過263號人家,門前的花都開了,而且從匈牙利回來之後,我覺得倫敦溫暖地像春天,穿得比倫敦人還少。

On my way home, the blooming flowers planted in the yard of No. 263 caught my attention. Since coming back from Budapest, I have felt that it's just as warm as spring here in London. I even put on less clothing than Londoners. 


今天帶著小蕙寄來的點心,去了米亞田野公園速寫,爸爸媽媽帶著孩子在公園裡玩,和我之前來的感覺不同,多了些生命力,但也有可能是我心境不同了。挑了最喜歡的點坐在長凳上就畫了起來,旁邊剛好是球場,黑人男孩的叫聲讓我也跟著興奮起來,一度有個孩子直說:幹得好幹得好!這是春天啊!空氣裡有台北晴朗冬日的味道,有過年即將到來的味道,是個很美好的日子。我喜歡去泰得美術館七樓的咖啡廳速寫,聞咖啡和旅客的味道,但米亞公園才是我屬於的地方。

After shopping, I took the snack that Hui had mailed me to Myatt's Fields Park for doing today's sketch. Today some children, along with their parents, biked and played in the park, which felt kind of different from last time when I came. But it might be me that felt different. I chose a scene I'd like to draw and sat on a bench right next to a ball field. The black boys' screaming made me feel their excitement as well. Once a kid couldn't stop shouting, "Well done! Well done!" If this isn't spring, what can it be? I smelled a sunny late afternoon of a typical winter day in Taipei. I smelled the coming Chinese New Year. It was such a lovely day. I like to sketch in the modern cafe on the 7th floor of the Tate Modern, where it smells of coffee and tourists. However, I know that Myatt's Fields Park is where I belong. 


今天開始得有些晚,畫一下子天就要暗了,我努力和日落賽跑。畫糾纏的樹枝時,我想到有一次班上一個男孩畫了一坨坨漩渦,下課之後我問他:你還好吧!不過我的線條很狂放,和他那種細膩不一樣。

Today I started kind of late. The sky was going to get dark before I was done. I tried to race against the sunset. When drawing tangled branches, I recalled a boy in my class who stippled tons of whirls once. I only asked him "Are you ok?" after class. My lines are very wild, compared with his fine ones, though. 


步出公園時,騎著腳踏車的管理員對我微笑說:我們四點十五要關門,希望很快可以見到你。我心裡想,會的。

When walking out of the park, the park ranger on his bike smiled and said to me, "We are about to close at 4:15 pm. I'll see you soon." I thought to myself, "You will." 

不管心情好心情壞時,我心底都知道我是多麼幸運能在這裡全心全意做著我喜歡的事,連寂寞傷心時也那麼珍惜這些情緒。最近用倒數法看我在倫敦的生活,因為我希望我能更認真,並不是討厭倫敦,事實上,愛這個字都不足以形容我在這個城市的日子,畢竟不是每個地方都能讓我把自己的內在翻出來檢視一番,沒有力氣時還想,我要這樣的愛!

Rain or shine, I know from the depths of my heart how lucky I am to be able to do something I love without any worries here. Even when I am lonely or heartbroken, I cherish these emotions more dearly than anything else. Lately I've been counting down my days in London, not that I'll leave so soon, but that I hope I can be more serious about my life. I don't dislike London. In fact, the word love isn't enough to describe my days here. Not every place can make me turn myself inside out, and when I am totally exhausted, I still cling to my choice and say, "I want this kind of love!" 

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