Friday, July 29, 2016

If I am lonely, / 如果我感到寂寞,



一定是忘了把速寫本拿出來。

it must be that I forget to take out my sketchbook. 




維也納
Vienna



內在的旅行:

這個夏天一個人去奧地利,想要挑戰不同的速寫形態,所以我不用平常習慣的Moleskin札記本,而是單張的水彩紙,但我又擔心沒有寫字的空間,於是買了價美物廉的無印良品筆記本,它成為了我旅行的良伴。

我說:這是一趟很安全的旅行。雖然一路上是真的很安全,不過我的重點其實是,沒有太多驚豔的心情,可是很放鬆,同時也讓我有機會回想過去在歐洲的生活,朋友說聽起來是一場很內在的旅程。

旅行中,我待過很多間小房間,總覺得似曾相識,我問自己:所以我又回到這裡做什麼?我現在的心境和四年前有什麼不同?


The significance of this trip: 

I went to Austria alone this summer. Desiring some change, I chose not to use my beloved Moleskine journal. Instead, I went for single sheets of watercolor paper. Also, desperate for the sense of safety that only writing can give me, I brought along a really convenient and inexpensive journal of MUJI, which greatly soothed me along the way. 

I told others, "This is a safe trip." Instead of emphasizing personal safety, I focus more on the meaning that there weren't great adventures, but on the other hand, it was very relaxing, which I needed at the moment. Meanwhile, I got to look back on my life in Europe before. One friend said this was a very "deep" journey. Yes, it was. 

I stayed in several small rooms in different cities, but they always felt kind of dejavu to me. I couldn't ask myself, "What did I come back here for? What difference do I feel now compared with four years ago?"




我在新城市裡的位置:

在旅館裡定義這一刻在我人生裡的意義,出了旅館,我一邊尋找自己在這個城市的位置,混在大群的觀光客裡,這個任務特別有挑戰,雖然我也是其中之一,卻反骨地想證明自己不一樣。

大太陽底下,躲在Sisi Museum有陰影的大門後面畫著不確定的線條,打掃的阿姨說我的腳不能放在大理石上。


My place in the new city: 

I was defining the significance of my trip in my life inside the hotel room. When I walked out of the hotel, I was looking for my niche in this city. It was especially challenging when I knew that I was just one of the tourists, but I wanted to prove my difference so much. 

Before I found the answer, I hid in the shade behind the door of Sisi Museum. My lines were indefinite, and I had no idea what I was doing. The cleaning lady said I should put my legs down the marble ledge, but I could sit there drawing. 




因為帶著太多媒材,一下要用本子,一下要用水彩紙,同時還要遮陽,常常覺得自己很忙碌,羨慕Schoenbrunn動物園裡這個很自在的大隻仔。

It was distracting to bring so many sorts of media with me. I had to choose between the journal book and sheets of paper. And of course, there was the scorching sunshine to worry about. I found myself so busy that I really envied the big guy in the Schoenbrunn Zoo. 




觀光還是畫圖?

有時買了套票,激起了我的好勝心,告訴自己沒有時間畫圖,在大太陽底下跑來跑去,雖然有許多學習上的收穫,不過最後都覺得有些空虛。

前一天錯過的風景,第二天我會再跑回去記錄,我發現,只有坐下來安靜畫圖的時候,才感受到微風。


Sightseeing or sketching? 

The purchase of a package with one ticket could blind me. To visit as many museums as possible, I would persuade myself that I had no time to sketch, so I ran around like a madman under the sun. Much as I had learned, I couldn't help feeling kind of empty. 

I would go back to the same spot to make up for the view that I had missed. I realized that only when I sit down to draw peacefully will I feel cool breezes. 




關於寂寞這件事:

離開維也納的早上,天氣變糟了,拉行李出旅館時,我還想:和從前比起來,我一點都不寂寞。想不到過沒幾個小時,上帝便把這個大禮送給我。

從維也納到格拉茲的沿路風景很美,我卻越來越寂寞。


About loneliness: 

The day when I left Vienna, the weather took a downturn. The moment when I pulled my gigantic luggage out of the hotel, I thought to myself, "Well, at least now I don't feel lonely, if I have to list a difference from the past." Interestingly, as if to prove I was wrong, within a few hours, God bestowed the big gift on me.  

On my way from Vienna to Graz, I felt more and more lonely despite the lovely scenery. 





格拉茲
Graz 



危機即轉機:

每搬進新的旅館,我的寂寞感特別強烈,剛習慣上一個小房間,又移入陌生的新房間,一個人,不免感覺某種程度的淒涼。還赫然發現,我沒有帶轉接插頭是件嚴重的事,沒有iPad,我要如何和熟悉的世界保持連絡?


A crisis is also a turning point: 

I feel especially lonely when I change hotels. Right when I feel used to one little room, I have to adapt to another room. It feels bleak. It came as a blow when I found that I didn't have an adaptor with me. "How can I stay in contact with the world I know without my iPad?" 




旅行時只盯著眼前的風景:

別人羨慕我的假期、我的勇氣,但是我的內在有很多小劇場,還好我總是能找到答案─如果感到寂寞,一定是因為我忘了把速寫本拿出來。

那一天是週日在格拉茲,觀光客特別少、店家幾乎都關門,我卻找到我最忠實的旅伴─速寫本。


Live at the moment when you travel: 

Others envy me for my holidays, for my courage to travel alone, but truth be told, there was a lot going on inside of me. Fortunately, I always manage to find an answer: If I feel lonely, it must be that I forget to take out my sketchbook. 

That Sunday in Graz, tourists all left for somewhere else, most shops were closed, yet I found my most loyal partner--my sketchbook. 




從等公車開始畫到搭公車。

I sketched while waiting for the bus, while taking the bus. 




畫到城市裡的漫步之旅。

While walking in the city. 




畫到有感覺的作品。

While encountering artworks that I really adore.




畫到真的找到合適的位置畫圖,然後路人就來和我說:「你擁有特別的旅行記錄。」我在心裡接著說:「和很平靜的心。」

Until I found a perfect spot for sketching. Then the passer-by would tell me, "You have a special record of the trip." I went on to say, "And a very calm feeling." 




不一定要有意義:

我學著不去賦予每件事或每張圖意義,從純粹的觀察裡會產生全新的了解。


There's no need to give everything meaning: 

I learned not to give everything or every picture meaning. New understanding will arise from pure observation. 



米滕泉
Bad Mitterndorf



時時會有變化:

在安靜的鄉間車站等火車,卻發現火車不會來了,但我畫了一張圖,畫完之後接駁巴士出現了。


Be prepared for change all the time: 

I was sketching while waiting for the train in the quiet countryside only to find that the train wouldn't come. However, the shuttle bus came after I finished a sketch. 



聖沃夫崗
St. Wolfgang



下雨天坐在咖啡館裡是必要的選擇:

並不是走來走去才叫旅行。


It's a must to sit in a cafe on rainy days: 

Traveling is more than moving around... 




MUJI筆記本小而美,到這一點必須收起來,作每天的旅行文字記錄了。我帶了一堆顏料,最後畫出來的都是黑白作,這也是我始料未及的心境改變使然吧!


I had to stop drawing in the journal at this point because not many pages were left for my text record. I actually brought paints and colored pens with me, but to my surprise, I ended up drawing in black and white. That was what I hadn't expected beforehand!