Sunday, September 23, 2012

Comforted / 安心


今天又見到我很喜歡的小桓哥,我畫完他的肖像後要求他畫我,結果我變成捲髮的多拉愛夢。

Today I met my favorite little boy Juan again. After I finished his portrait, I offered to be his model. Little did I expect that I would turn out to be Doraemon with curly hair. 

現在有個習慣,朋友聚會時如果有小朋友,我會很自動地移到他們身邊,通常我會隨身帶著彩色筆,我們會一起畫圖。我總覺得自己小時候活得太不像孩子了,現在一心ㄧ意想彌補之前未能和同齡的小朋友共處的樂趣。

I have got into a habit now. In friends' gatherings, if there is a group of kids, I will automatically move over and pretend to be one of them. Usually I bring colored pens with me, and that enables us to draw together. I feel that I didn't get to be a child when young. Now I am intent on making up to myself for the fun I didn't enjoy of spending time with children of my age before. 



小桓一點也不畏縮地畫在我的札記本裡,我們一人分一面,他說我把自己畫得很老,我就在旁邊畫了年輕版的我,他顯然滿意許多,然後他又畫起最愛的多拉愛夢,我們聊起兩人都很喜歡的土耳其進行曲,他眼裡露出閃閃的光芒說:那是我最喜歡的曲子耶!

Juan drew fearlessly in my journal. We each were responsible for one page. He commented on my old-looking portrait, so I drew a younger version of myself, which obviously pleased him more than the first one. He was engrossed in drawing his beloved Doraemon again. We chatted about the song Turkish March. His eyes shone with glow saying, "That's my favorite song!" 

有時候說的話太多,連自己都覺得不踏實。可是這時候只要有個小孩坐在我身邊,我們一起安安靜靜地畫圖,我就會感到安心。

Sometimes I talk so much that I don't believe in what I say anymore. But at this moment, if there is a child sitting next to me and drawing with me in silence, their presence never fails to comfort me...

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Caterina's Chinese words / 凱特的中國字


本來是我先說想學意大利文,同時凱特說她想學中文,一直都是行動派的我這次居然讓凱特捷足先登,因為她已經去報名了。

I mentioned wanting to learn Italian back in August, and meanwhile Caterina said she'd like to learn Chinese. I am always known for my efficiency in taking action, but this time Caterina beat me. She has signed up for Chinese language courses. 

一直想做中國字的書,於是我請凱特選出十個最喜歡的字,今天快要把腦子想破了,因為中國字本身就很有畫面,可以玩的遊戲很多。

I've wanted to do a book on Chinese words. I asked Caterina to list ten favorite words. Today I tried to brainstorm for solutions. Chinese words are rich in images themselves, so there must be a lot of ways to create the pictures. 


為了牛刀小試,先拿「謝」來實驗,我還問了家人一個問題,如果每個中國字都有顏色,「謝」字是什麼顏色?

To begin with, I experimented with the word "thanks." I asked my family a question. If every Chinese character is endowed with a color, which color will you give to "thanks?" 



畫得正開心的同時,楷維從椅子上摔下來,我拿畫壞的紙畫了一張樂極生悲的楷維畫像,本來他說我把他畫得很醜,最後還搶著把肖像帶回家⋯

While we were drawing and partying, Kai fell from his chair. I used an abandoned cardboard to draw a portrait of him shedding tears in pain. Though he had kept saying I made him look really ugly, he still insisted on taking the artwork home at the end of the day...

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

On the defense / 心防


這週終於要開始新的繪本計畫,本來有點不知如何起頭,不過因為主角是武士,我請男孩們擺出各種姿勢讓我拍照。有趣的是,兩個人搶著當武士,尤其是楷維,不太喜歡當受害者,我只好親自示範,最後大家玩得不亦樂乎。

I am finally starting my new picture book project this week. I was kind of at a loss, but since the main character is a warrior, it occurred to me that I could ask the boys to pose for me. Interestingly, they both fought to be the warrior, especially Kai. However, I needed the reference of victims as well. In the end I had to demonstrate in person, and we really had a blast.

今天一整天讀了關於心防的故事,接到的電話也有關心防的故事。有人放下了,有人正在掙扎,心防和喜不喜歡一個人是沒有關係的,就是情份未到,我都明白。但不論如何,我要當我漂亮的、開朗的、平靜的36歲女生。

I read a story about being on the defense, received a phone call about being on the defense today. Someone let down the wall, while someone else is still struggling. We might like a person while being on the defense against him or her. It's just that we do not know each other well yet. I understand it all, but whatever your problem is, I will go on being a beautiful, extrovert, and peaceful 36-year-old big girl.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Grape tree boy / 葡萄樹男孩


有一天楷維看我吃葡萄不吐葡萄籽,我和他說這樣肚子裡會長葡萄樹,到時候我們就有吃不完的葡萄,他覺得很好玩,和我要了幾顆紅葡萄和綠葡萄,希望吃下去之後可以生出一片果園。

One day Kai watched me eat grapes without spitting the seeds. I told him that in this way a grape tree will grow in me and that we will have tons of free grapes to eat. He found the whole thing fun, so he asked for some red and green grapes from me in the hope that the miracle will happen to him.

今天讀了大衛薛格利的畫圖方式就是把速寫本填滿,所以我畫了一堆葡萄樹男孩的圖,最後讓楷維選一張他喜歡的。

Today I read about David Shrigley, who emphasizes the idea of filling the pages. I drew several images of the grape tree boy and let Kai pick one he prefers.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Idol / 偶像


前一陣子在部落格上嚷嚷有關慕那利的繪本,凱特姐便從義大利寄來很棒的生日禮物:慕那利的書!如果說我有偶像的話,他一定是排在前三名,這傢伙一生著作如山,橫跨童書和設計類,主題也無窮無盡,是我非常景仰的藝術家。

A while ago I kept mentioning how Munari's picture book influenced me. Then I received a superb birthday gift from Italy: Caterina mailed me another book by Munari. Well, asked if I have any idol, Munari will certainly be in the top three. He is the author of tons of books including picture books and design. The subjects cover a wide range. I have great admiration for this gentleman. 



今天畫圖畫到撕掉,突然慕那利對我的影響沒來由地跑出來,把我從苦思中解救出來。

At one point I tore up my drawings out of dissatisfaction. Fortunately, the inspiration I derived from Munari saved me from the artist's block. 





希望收到這些明信片的朋友也感受到慕那利的光芒⋯

I hope friends that receive these postcards will feel the glow of Mr. Munari too...

I can / 我可以


早晨我家雙寶開心地去台大拍照,我邊讀「去倫敦上插畫課」,讀到書中作者在金斯頓大學受到的插畫訓練,她們的速寫課程比我在坎貝爾多很多,我想到回來之前對自己的承諾,就是覺得在台北我也會認真畫圖才完全無悔地放下,於是我抓著豪華的生日禮物—大紅色很適合我的Moleskine札記本衝去社區的傳統市場速寫。

Sunday morning. My dear parents went with NTU with zest for their sharpening their photo-taking skills. I was reading the book London Illustrated written by two Korean authors who received illustration education in Kingston University. It seems that they have much more sketch sessions than we do in Camberwell. I recalled the promise I made to myself before coming back: I will draw, if not harder, at least as hard when I come home. That was why I could come home without any regret. Thus I grabbed one of my luxurious birthday gifts and rushed to the traditional market in the neighborhood for drawing sketches.


今天不知怎麼搞的,就是很想畫雞,發現攤販用西瓜餵食雞,紅黑綠和土色的組合真好看。

Somehow I had the urge to draw chicken. I learned that the vendors feed them with watermelons. The combination of red, black, ochre and green is just fantastic. 



在市場裡很難不興奮,小販的洪亮叫喊聲,雞隻的慘澹呻吟,客人和老闆的親切問候,我還遇到熟人問我在做什麼。蔬菜水果和熟食攤視覺上的刺激,每個人都有我渴望畫下來的獨特姿態,這裡的人生是美好的,還有看似平凡卻感覺很幸福的中年夫婦一起買菜,我過去這個星期死掉的細胞又活過來了。

It is hard not to feel thrilled in the market. The vendors hawk with full force; the chickens moan in misery; I love that familiarity in people's greetings to each other. I even run into an acquaintance asking me what I am up to on the bench. The vivid colors of veggies and fruits and the oily colors of cooked food give me such visual stimulation. Everyone I see has something special about them physically and mentally that I want to draw them all. Life here is so beautiful. Also, a seemingly-ordinary middle-aged couple comes grocery-shopping together, but the sweetness of their love shines. I feel my dead cells coming alive again. 

我在瓦倫西亞、布達佩斯、倫敦的市場速寫過、我當然可以在台北的市場畫圖。倫敦的同學要開學,我也要加油了。

I drew sketches in the markets in Valencia, Budapest and London. Why can't I do the same in Taipei? My classmates in London are about to begin their new term. I should work hard on my home-schooling  too. 

Friday, September 14, 2012

What I miss / 我想念的


三月底去巴黎時並沒有太認真地速寫,但是那些隨意的塗抹現在看來無比珍貴,因為那些時刻無法重新來過。

When I traveled in Paris at the end of March, I wasn't in the mood for drawing. Yet those casual doodles seem unusually precious now because the moments they record can't be relived.



四月去了北愛爾蘭之後的喃喃自語。

My intimate murmur after the trip to North Ireland in April. 



這個星期我又開始速寫,因為不論現在的線條如何,將來的我會想念它們。

This week I have started to sketch again. I know no matter how messy or unsure my lines now are, I am bound to miss them in the future. 

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Seed / 種子


從早上起床我一路畫圖畫到上班,雖然心裡有很多火花,開始工作的那一刻卻滿臉平靜,還做了好幾個人的心理諮商。

After waking up this morning, I drew all the way to work. Though my heart was crowded with sparks, I looked as composed as ever the moment I started working. I even did some mental counseling for several people. 

傍晚和楷維玩互相畫肖像的遊戲,我想到三十一年前,爸爸媽媽以為自己的女兒是畢卡索,不能埋沒我的才華,送我到畫室學畫圖。當時哪會知道比成為畢卡索更重要的是,這顆小種子變成我心靈的依靠。

In the evening, Kai and I practiced drawing portraits for each other. It then occurred to me that 31 years ago, my parents had the epiphany that I was Picasso incarnate when they saw my first drawing. They immediately sent me to a studio for fear that my talent might be left in oblivion. They didn't know that better than making me Picasso, the seed has become my gigantic mental support. 


希望楷維在三十年之後也有一刻會這麼想到我。

I hope Kai will think of me in the same way in thirty years...

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

I might love you / 我可能會愛你


開學進入第三週,每個週五都走到有點無法呼吸的地步,每個週末都在自我反省,每天早上出門前都要先畫速寫靜心。

This is the third week after the new semester started. Every day I feel kind of suffocated. Every weekend I look back on the week to see how I can do better. Every morning before going to work I have to spend 10 minutes drawing to calm my mind. 

雖然上一個班花了一年才接受小野獸的樣子,我沒有另外一個一年了。昨天我居然有點被打動,即使回到家又是身心俱疲。

It took me a year to love my ex-students as they are, but now I don't have another year. Yesterday at a point I was moved by some really nice girls, though I was as tired as a dog after work. 

我不要再苦惱了,想我要怎麼樣才能教好你,只要你讓我用的方式,我想我可能會愛你。

I don't want to worry anymore, not about how I can turn into the kind of people I expect. Just let me be me, and I might love you. 

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Time will tell. / 讓時間說真話。


美術課,學生沒有出現。我坐在書桌前把這幾週的生活真諦畫下來:讓時間說真話。

In my art class today, my students do not show up. I am sitting at the desk drawing a major life lesson God has been reviewing for me for the past few weeks in every way: Time will tell. 

Four Dinosaurs in London / 倫敦四兄弟










在倫敦的時候很寂寞,因為渴望被了解,卻又明白那是不太容易滿足的想望,回家之後終於可以讓寂寞沈澱,把當時的情緒轉成畫面。

I was lonely in London. I desired to be understood, but meanwhile I knew it was a lofty wish. After coming home, I could finally face my loneliness and turn it into images. 

想在倫敦生活的四隻恐龍也有同樣的愛的需求吧!

My four dinosaurs, who dream of finding a place in London, also have the same need for love...

Sunday, September 09, 2012

Greetings / 問候
















好久沒畫明信片,今天一口氣把心裡的問候都畫出來。

I hadn't hand-drawn postcards for a long while. Today I turned all my greetings into images...

Saturday, September 08, 2012

36


今天是三十六歲的第一天,早上和太陽一起醒來,看著窗外映進來的陽光,我知道今天會和我一樣又溫暖又明亮。

Today is the first day of the 36th year in my life. I woke up in the morning with the sun. Seeing the orange light reflected from outside, I know that today will be as warm and bright as me.




如果說每一歲生日都有個主題,對我來說今年是感恩的一年。從倫敦回來之後,到處遇見的人們一直讓我知道我有多美好的人生,我有很疼愛我的家人和好友;我有兩個超可愛的寵物男孩;我有實現夢想的勇氣;我有成長的動力;我有好玩的工作;我有最愛的熱情;我有愛人的能力,所以在生日前我很努力把我所擁有的給出去。

If there is a theme for every birthday, for me, this year it is gratitude. Since coming back from London, people I run into everywhere have constantly reminded me what a beautiful life I have. I have a very loving family and friends, two super adorable pet boys, the courage to fulfill my dream, the motivation to change for the better, a fantastic job, passion for drawing and most of all, the ability to love. Thus, I set the goal to pay it all forward before my birthday. 


我請男孩們幫我畫生日卡,我們邊畫圖邊唱歌,從英文的「我的愛永不變」到法文的小王子主題曲到義大利文的「你想當美國人」,最後索幸跳下椅子跳舞,一面重複著l'americano,楷維幫我畫蛋糕畫到很累,還要深呼吸,最後我和他開玩笑說:汪達姨很苦命耶,哪有人畫自己的生日蛋糕的?

I asked the boys to draw birthday cards for me. We drew and sang, from George Benson's Nothing's Gonna Change My Love for You in English to De Planete en Planete, the theme song for the cartoon The Little Prince in French, to Tu Vuo Fa L'Americano in Italian. In the end we all jumped from our chairs to swing, repeating the word l'americano like mad. Kai was so exhausted from drawing my cake that he had to take a deep breath from time to time. I joked with him, "Auntie Wanda feels very bitter about having to draw her own birthday cake." 




思維說要畫一隻馬,他不在時小馬可以陪我,結果他把馬畫成恐龍了,思維還不會寫國字,所以我們倆合力寫下他對我的祝福。

Von said he wanted to draw a horse, which can accompany me when he is not around. In the end the horse turned out to be a dinosaur. Von hasn't learned how to write Chinese characters yet, so we two wrote together down his best wishes for me. 

謝謝很多小天使,送給我真摯的問候,我很幸福。

I also want to thank many guardian angels of mine for their sincere greetings. I know I am so blessed...


Thursday, September 06, 2012

Wanda's art class 12 / 汪達的美術課 12






不知道從什麼時候開始,汪達收集越來越多的處女座朋友,所以從八月底沿路到九月,我們的美術課生日卡業務相當蓬勃,不過因為我也是難搞的處女座,當然是VIP級的家人和友人才能得到我們的手繪卡。

I have no clue since when I have collected more and more Virgo friends, so since the end of August, we have been rather busy making birthday cards in our evening art class. However, since I am also one of the difficult Virgo babies, only our VIP family and friends can have the privilege to get our handmade cards. 

薛吉姐姐收到這兩張卡片時都快哭了,這些線條不能被複製,孩子們一直長大,它們紀錄了男孩們童稚的真心。

When Shaggy received these two cards, she was on the brink of tears. True, as the boys grow up at a light year speed, these lines record their best wishes of a specific moment. They can't be replicated. 




接下來要為男孩們的阿嬤畫卡片,小方畫了有翅膀的外婆,我們在她生日的前一晚把卡片快遞到她心裡。

Next the boys drew cards for their granny. Von drew a lovely grandma with wings. We sent the cards to her heart on the night before her birthday. 



那誰來當我的小天使呢?

Who is going to be my guardian angel? 

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Wanda's art class 11 / 汪達的美術課 11






我再一次想到裘蒂皮考特的話:我們愛的人每天會給我們帶來驚喜。

Jodi Picoult's words occur to me one more time: People we love surprise us every day. 

Tuesday, September 04, 2012

Wanda's art class 10 / 汪達的美術課 10


每天我會在美術課問小方的學校生活,他是個深情的小男生,下課總要和幼稚園的老朋友玩在一起,還要繞到喜歡的女生教室和他說話,不過他說:不知道為什麼,她一看到我就跑走,好幾天這樣了。想不到小方在六歲就遇到這麼棘手的問題,我說:她應該是害羞啦,你要不要也去交新朋友呢?他們也可能是很好的人喔!小方堅持還是喜歡舊朋友。

Every day in our art class, I will ask Von about his school life. He's a faithful little boy, always hanging out with his old friends from the kindergarten during the break. It's also a routine for him to visit the little girl whom he has a crush on, but he says, "I don't know why, but for several days when she sees me, she just runs away." I can't imagine that Von has already encountered such a thorny problem at the age of six. I reply, "I bet she must be shy. Why don't you go make some new friends? They might turn out to be really nice people." However, Von insists on spending time with his old pals. 



說完那席話後我很後悔,反正人最後都會學到如何隱藏感情,最終都會戴上面具,很多人心靈也會扭曲,為什麼我要教一個六歲的小孩溫柔敦厚,或者是給喜歡的人留點空間?小方的六歲就是因為他真摯不隱瞞的感情而美好啊!

I actually regret after uttering out these words. If we, eventually, will master the art of hiding our feelings, or put on masks, why do I teach a six-year-old to be emotionally considerate and magnanimous or give space to someone he likes? Von's sixth year is beautiful right because of his sincere and honest feelings. 



晚上九點的美術課,沒有人需要心理治療師,讓我們每個人都做自己,那樣自由又奔放。

9 p.m. in the evening art class, no one needs any psychotherapist. Let us all be ourselves, so free and careless...