Friday, September 23, 2016

Naked / 赤裸裸


有點難,但是學會就解放了。

Is kind of hard to learn, but it's liberating as soon as you let go of all concerns.


Sunday, September 18, 2016

Postcrossing


很久沒玩Postcrossing了,那天為了示範給孩子們看,便按了「寄明信片」的鍵,拖了好久都沒有寄,很有罪惡感。

I hadn't logged onto Postcrossing for long. However, to demonstrate how to use the website to my new kids, I purposefully pressed "send a postcard" the other day. But my procrastination made me feel very guilty as time went by. 

我的對象是個蘇俄小姐,那麼就來個蘇俄娃娃的洋蔥式介紹法吧!果然人不能逃避該做的事,畫完有種鬆了口氣的感覺,還意外發現原子筆的實用性!

My addressee is a Russian lady who inspired me to base my postcard on the concept of a Russian doll. Well, I felt a great sense of relief after drawing the postcard, and better yet, I discovered the beauty of a biro pen! 

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Truth / 真理


身體說:「你居然活著活著,便忘了睡覺是真理!」

My body says, "You live only to forget that sleep is the basis of everything!"


Sunday, September 11, 2016

Rainy park / 下雨的公園


我在下雨的大安公園裡散步,大樹和我說:那些讓你心裡不愉快的感覺,都留給我們當肥料吧!又派了一個可愛的外國先生來和我聊樹上的鳥類,於是,我就這麼撫癒了一個小傷口。

After a long evening walk in Da-an park, the trees tell me, "Leave your hard feelings here as our fertilizer." They also send a very interesting foreign gentleman to talk about the birds in the tree with me. Miraculously, my wound is thus healed. 

Thursday, September 08, 2016

40


轉四十歲之前,是充滿焦慮的一年,還好最近把腳步慢了下來,找回了我想要的從容。

This has been a year filled with anxiety. Fortunately, I managed to slow down before turning 40 and retrieved the poise I so desperately longed for. 



凱特琳娜寄給我的卡片裡,問我要送什麼給自己當生日禮物,我的答案是「慢活」,所以今天去上班的路上,不奔跑也不緊張,看到想速寫的行人也不猶豫地停下來畫個兩筆。

Caterina asked me in the birthday card what I'd like to give myself as a birthday gift. My answer is "a slow pace." On the way to work today, I neither ran nor rushed. Upon seeing a beautiful smoking lady, I didn't hesitate to stop and sketch her. 

一早進到教室裡,可愛的孩子們準備了好大的蛋糕,我毫不彆扭地接受了大家的心意,今天我自在開心。

A super big cake was waiting for me when I stepped into the classroom this morning. I learned to accept the new girls' love without feeling shy. Today my heart is as wide as the ocean. 



雖然暑假就送了自己去奧地利旅行的大禮物,但一直到最近,我才真的明白對自己好的意義。暫時放掉了一些野心,我要從頭開始,一次只做一件事,表面上看起來像是放手,但我知道這是完成夢想的必要手段。

Though I gave myself the luxurious birthday gift of traveling to Austria in summer, I didn't really know what it means to be nice to myself until recently. For the time being, I let go of some goals. I will begin again and focus on one thing at a time, which is the only way I know to my dreams. 

四十歲真是個美麗的年紀,向前看未來的人生,還有一些機會,我要慢慢地前進‧‧‧‧‧‧

Forty is a very beautiful age. When I look ahead, I see some opportunities. Now I am going to move forward slowly...

Sunday, September 04, 2016

with the sun and the moon / 日月的懷抱














去日月潭放空,大自然對我說:每一刻都有值得學習的美好,靜下心好好觀看和傾聽。

I travel to Sun-moon Lake to relax. Nature says to me, "There's something to learn in every moment, but you have to look and listen calmly..." 

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Treat me nice / 溫柔地 對待自己


開學的前一天,還是有好多想完成的事,不過,這一切都得放在一邊,先進行一些重要的儀式,放下過去,調整好腳步,明天以後的日子才能走得安穩。

I still have so many goals in my mind on the day before the new semester starts. However, I am aware that there's something bigger: I need to undergo some essential rituals to bid farewell to the past and adjust my pace first. 

前幾天得知了同事佳怡過世的消息,因為我們是類似性格的人,所以我感受到很大的情感衝擊。去了喪禮,悲傷很神奇地被轉換成力量,也讓我再一次正視自己的生活結構,過去的幾個月裡,我給自己很多目標和壓力,明明身體有一些狀況,我卻沒有好好對待自己。感覺佳怡在幫助我提醒自己,要放掉一些東西,要慢慢來。

A few days ago I learned of the tragic news that my colleague Chia-yi passed away earlier this month.  Her death has had a huge impact on me because somehow in her, I saw myself. Surprisingly, her funeral transformed my sadness into strength. More importantly, I am reminded to rethink seriously about my life. In the past months, I've given myself much pressure. Even though my body can't take it, I still dismiss this problem. I feel that Chia-yi is telling me to let go of some things and to take it slow. 



小智的檸檬 / Chi's lemon 

面對新的開始,人事物都換新了,收起舊的札記本之前,翻閱了過去幾個月的記錄,雖然覺得自己過得有點灰頭土臉,但記錄中其實有一些愛的片段,好像是說,美麗的片刻當下不一定是要充滿光亮的。

I am surrounded by new people and new objects at this point of life, but before putting away the old journal, I thumb through the record of the past few months. Apart from frustrations, there are also some moments of love. After all, beautiful moments don't always have to be shiny. 



還是忘不了爸爸在機場揮手的身影 / Dad's waving goodbye in the airport

生活就是走著走著,過度專注小細節,忘了大風景,總是要一再被提醒,要退後一步看。

As we all know, when we focus too much on details, we lose sight of the big picture. We have to be reminded to take a step back and get a perspective constantly. 



沒有答案是正常的。

It's ok that we can't find the answer sometimes. 



的確,最近有些時候心亂,還好運動過後總是會平靜下來。

I do lose that peaceful feeling sometimes, but fortunately, the evening walk always calms me down. 



春天會再來的。

Spring will come again. 

兩個多月前的某一天,佳怡對我說,她發現我的部落格,用坦然的態度開始和我聊生病和生活,雖然只有過這樣的交談,她卻在我的生命裡留下強烈的力道。重新出發之前,我也要在部落格上留下對佳怡的祝福,同時也對自己說:溫柔地對待自己吧!

One day in mid-June, Chia-yi accidentally told me that she found my blog, and then she began to chat with me about life and illness. We didn't have that much interaction, but she has left such a deep impression on me. Before the new semester begins, I want to send my best wishes to her and to myself! 

Monday, August 15, 2016

Sketches of Austria 2 / 奧地利速寫 2


森林‧湖泊

Woods and lakes 


多瑙河河畔‧維也納 / Donau River, Vienna

夏日的多瑙河畔有著維也納最迷人的風景,沿岸是在岸邊戲水、曬太陽的當地人,也有很多人在沿岸的小徑上健走。每次心煩氣躁時只要來到多瑙河畔,看看悠閒的人們,就會想起慢活的美好。

The most fascinating scenery in summery Vienna can be found along the Donau riverbanks. People sunbathe, swim, or hike along the trails. Every time when I feel lost or fidgety, I will retrieve my inner peace there. 




多瑙河河畔‧維也納 / Donau River, Vienna

旅行要結束之前,我又回到同樣的地點畫圖,在這裡我看到了維也納的精髓。

I love the spot so much that before going home, I sketch again in the same place. For me, the place is my definition of Vienna. 




羅保國家公園‧維也納 / the Lobau, Vienna 

這個景點是我本趟旅行最大的亮點!本來我計劃要去羅保國家公園健行,但是因為沒有做好縝密的計劃,雖然最後沒有找到健行路線,卻意外走進裸體做日光浴的湖區。剛開始很驚嚇,我還很認真考慮是不是也該如法泡製,但亞洲人的拘謹讓我只能衣冠整齊地坐在樹林間畫圖。我深深覺得:維也納人真的很包容我。

This place is the highlight of my trip. I planned to go hiking in the Lobau, but I fail to find the hiking trail. However, my lack of sense of direction leads me into this nude sunbathing area. I am really shocked in the beginning, but I do think seriously if I should take my clothing off. In the end, my discreet Asian personalities kill the desire to take such a bold step. I sit there covered from head to toe, thanking Wieners for being so magnanimous with me. 




對我來說,當地人們對待自己身體的態度給了我很多思考的空間,我對待自己的身體彆扭地要命,我到底在害怕些什麼,不過就是一具軀體吧!

Yet, the visit makes me think about the body. People who go nude sunbathing don't have the most beautiful bodies in the world, but they are so ok with being naked. I hope one day I can liberate myself from all the pointless concerns and restraints. 

其實我看到的奧地利人也都中規中矩,所以看到他們裸體日光浴的這一面,我也會想應該要放開一些。今年夏天要是有什麼成長的話,都要謝謝這些人給我的刺激!

As a matter of fact, Austrians, in my eyes, are polite and reserved, so if they don't find nude sunbathing outrageous, I have a good reason to open up too. Well, the trip to the Lobau is probably the most thought-provoking experience this summer. 




維也納大學‧維也納 / Vienna University, Vienna 

哪裡有翠綠的樹蔭,哪裡就有休憩的人們。暑假的大學校園裡很寧靜自在。

Wherever there are lush shades, there are people taking a break under the thick foliage. The university campus during summer break is serene and relaxing. 




市中心草地上 / on the lawn near Volksgarten 

明明這裡就是從地鐵站Volkstheater進入市中心所有景點的入口,我卻能避開觀光客。中午十二點,身邊有很多牽著愛狗來散步的維也納居民和小憩一下的市民。

Often I am amazed that tourists gather in a certain area. Beyond an invisible line, no matter how close, no tourist is seen. This is the lawn near the exit of Volkstheater metro station, which leads to all the major museums and tourist spots right in the center of the city, but I only see the locals coming here either for walking dogs or taking a nap at noon. 




哈修塔特 / Hallstatt

在湖邊的小鎮裡,到處都是觀光客,在喧鬧中找到安靜的角落是我最大的挑戰,不過就是有那麼一種地方,讓我可以畫想畫的風景,也不會晒到太陽,那是湖邊樹蔭下的長凳。

Hallstatt, the renowned town along the lake, is packed with visitors. My toughest challenge is to find a quiet corner as streams of people keep flowing by. However, the miracle does exist. There is always a spot where I can draw without being exposed to the sun--that is the bench under the shade of some trees on the lakeshore. 




哈修塔特 / Hallstatt

畫著畫著,下雨了,我居然可以在雨中撐起傘繼續畫,身邊避雨的人都不吝對我微笑,他們一定覺得我有絕活! 

As I draw, raindrops start to fall. Surprisingly, I can hold an umbrella and keep sketching in the rain. People taking shelter next to me cannot help smiling at me. I bet they must find me incredible.

不過老實說,第二張圖是雨停了之後又跑回去畫的。

But truth be told, I have to go after it rains for about ten minutes. Actually I go back to draw again after the rain stops. 




哈修塔特 / Hallstatt 

受不了人潮的話,就坐船到小鎮的對岸畫圖,那裡除了搭火車的乘客外,只有嗡嗡的蜜蜂和獨自划船的女人陪我。

When I can't bear the crowds anymore, I take the ferry to the other shore. There, apart from the train passengers, my only companions are the bees and the beautiful lady that rows alone on the lake. 



市集

Market 


格拉茲 / Graz 

出大太陽的日子裡,在市集的角落,畫一早上的圖也不會覺得熱。現在的我最想念那裡緩慢悠閒的生活步調。

In the super sunny morning, I do not feel heat in a shady corner in Kaiser-Josef Markt. Now,  I miss most the slow pace of life there very much. 



動物園

the zoo 


Schönbrunn Zoo, Vienna / 美泉宮動物園‧維也納

我很羨慕這些傢伙,啄啄毛之外就是發呆,真是單純的生活啊!

I envy these kids very much. They do nothing beside preening their feathers. I love the empty look in their eyes as they stare off into the distance. What a simple life! 



Friday, August 05, 2016

Sketches of Austria 1 / 奧地利速寫 1


建築

Buildings



百水公寓‧維也納

Hunderwasser Village in Vienna

剛到新的城市感受到的是迷惘、不知所措的心情,不想跳過知名的觀光景點,卻又因為大群的觀光人潮卻步。

I tend to feel confused and lost when I first arrive in a new city. I am tempted to visit renowned tourist spots, but I fear crowds of tourists. 

百水公寓豐富的色彩和蜿蜒的線條有高第的風格,不過大小只有一個街區。幸好轉個彎完全看不到觀光客,只有當地居民偶爾走過我的面前。

The rich colors and curvy lines of Hunderwasser Village so remind me of Barcelona, but it's only the size of a small block. Fortunately, tourists gather only within the block. I find by accident that around the corner, there are only local residents passing by from time to time as I am sketching. 

雖然用黑白色調很可惜,那卻是我這趟旅行的答案之一。

My paper is pricey watercolor paper, but I feel like using only black and white, which is one of the answers I've got from the trip. 




Ottakring 地鐵站出口‧維也納

Ottakring metro station, Vienna 

在奧地利旅行了十六天,最後幾天有些疲累,不想再去觀光景點朝聖。某天為了健行,來到了Ottakring地鐵站,出口的天橋下有成排的蔬果攤,當地居民來來往往,我的雷達嗅出這是生活的場域,於是在維也納的最後一天,我在橋下坐了半天。

I travel in Austria for sixteen days. During the last few days, I feel that I've had enough of traveling. I come to the conclusion that I shouldn't visit tourist attractions anymore. One day, I discover the community near the Ottakring metro station on my way to the woods. Vegetable and fruit stands line the plaza right outside the station. There, the locals come and go, and my radar tells me that this is the perfect place for sketching. So on the last day of my trip, I spend the whole morning sitting in the shade to draw. 

那天,我感受到陽光陰影的變化、當地人的樣貌、社區的型態,最棒的是當然是和人們交流,我不會說德文,也不想多說話,微笑和謝謝兩個字就足夠了。

That day, I feel the changes of light and shadows, what Austrians are like, and how people live. Best of all, I have the opportunities to interact with others. Though I don't speak German, I find smiles and thank-you are more than enough. 

最後我的眼前出現了一對街頭藝人,唱著混合民俗和現代音樂的歌謠,我聽到要起雞皮疙瘩,心想:這是我可以想到最動人的句點了!

Early in the afternoon, a couple of street performers mark the end of the trip for me with their modern ballads. It's so beautiful that I am totally moved. What a perfect way to say goodbye to Vienna! 








聖沃夫崗

St. Wolfgang 

聖沃夫崗是湖區的度假小鎮,我原本夢想著在湖邊散步和在山裡健行,但是我造訪的那幾天,雨下不停,避雨和避寒成了我的目標。

St. Wolfgang is a holiday resort in the lake areas. I dreamed of taking long walks around the lake and hiking in the hills, but during my visit, it hardly stops raining. I can't help but focus on staying away from the cold and the rain. 

冷得哆唆的時候,在教堂對面的廣場上瞥見屋簷下的長凳,我便胸無大志地坐下來畫圖。畫著畫著,發現其實廣場是各國旅行團會合的地點,所以我的身邊流轉著不同語言。法國團來的時候,一名大叔建議我在上圖的窗戶裡加人,對於當時很寂寞的我,這真是個好主意!我畫了幾個想像的小朋友,渴望出門和我玩,畫了他們之後,心中有種很安慰的感覺。

As I shiver in the cold rain, the long benches on the plaza catch my attention. Sitting there to draw is the best way to kill time. Then I realize it's actually the meeting point of many tourist groups. It's fun that tourists speaking different languages gather near me and sometimes make their own comments on my drawings. For example, one of the French tourists suggests that I add some people inside the windows. I LOVE the idea since I feel quite lonely at that moment. I feel soothed after drawing some imaginary friends who actually desire to come to play with me in the rain. 

接著台灣團的導遊介紹兩張圖中建築的背景,我才發現上圖最左邊的建築是當地非常有名的白馬飯店!

Next come two Taiwanese tourist groups. As the tour guides introduce the buildings, I realize that the building on the left side in the first picture is the most famous hotel in St. Wolfgang: Weissen Rossl! 

我的旅行隨意到隨便的地步,卻有無限驚人的發現!

My trip is casual to such a degree that some people might be shocked, but the truth is, I have numerous amazing discoveries! 




現代美術館俯看城市全景‧薩爾斯堡

bird's-eye view from Museum of Modern Art, Salzburg

薩爾斯堡小而美,不過把整個城市的建築都畫出來(還擠掉了一些),也得花上三個小時。

Salzburg is small yet compact, but it still takes me three hours to attempt to draw all the buildings. (If you look carefully, you'll find I've missed some.) 

畫完的時候,我對自己說:「我沒有對不起這個城市!」

When I finish the sketch, I tell myself, "Now the city can be proud of me!" 




修道院旅館‧薩爾斯堡

Gästehaus im Priesterseminar, Salzburg

旅行到累的時候,就在旅館裡畫圖。旅館裡的小黑貓也寂寞,其實他有很多朋友。

When I would like to take a break from traveling, I sketch in my hotel room. The little black cat is as lonely as me, but the truth is, he has many mysterious friends. 




薩爾察嚇河岸‧薩爾斯堡

along Salzach, Salzburg 

都是在避開觀光景點時才真正認識一個城市。要告別薩爾斯堡的早晨,天氣放晴了,藍天白雲,有溫暖的陽光,我在河岸邊速寫,當地居民或慢跑或騎腳踏車,平靜又美好。

Only when I remember to stay away from tourist attractions do I really get to see a city as it is. The last morning when I am about to leave, the weather finally clears up. I sit and sketch along Salzach as the locals jog or bike by in front of me. What a peaceful end! 


待續‧‧‧‧‧‧

To be continued ...

Friday, July 29, 2016

If I am lonely, / 如果我感到寂寞,



一定是忘了把速寫本拿出來。

it must be that I forget to take out my sketchbook. 




維也納
Vienna



內在的旅行:

這個夏天一個人去奧地利,想要挑戰不同的速寫形態,所以我不用平常習慣的Moleskin札記本,而是單張的水彩紙,但我又擔心沒有寫字的空間,於是買了價美物廉的無印良品筆記本,它成為了我旅行的良伴。

我說:這是一趟很安全的旅行。雖然一路上是真的很安全,不過我的重點其實是,沒有太多驚豔的心情,可是很放鬆,同時也讓我有機會回想過去在歐洲的生活,朋友說聽起來是一場很內在的旅程。

旅行中,我待過很多間小房間,總覺得似曾相識,我問自己:所以我又回到這裡做什麼?我現在的心境和四年前有什麼不同?


The significance of this trip: 

I went to Austria alone this summer. Desiring some change, I chose not to use my beloved Moleskine journal. Instead, I went for single sheets of watercolor paper. Also, desperate for the sense of safety that only writing can give me, I brought along a really convenient and inexpensive journal of MUJI, which greatly soothed me along the way. 

I told others, "This is a safe trip." Instead of emphasizing personal safety, I focus more on the meaning that there weren't great adventures, but on the other hand, it was very relaxing, which I needed at the moment. Meanwhile, I got to look back on my life in Europe before. One friend said this was a very "deep" journey. Yes, it was. 

I stayed in several small rooms in different cities, but they always felt kind of dejavu to me. I couldn't ask myself, "What did I come back here for? What difference do I feel now compared with four years ago?"




我在新城市裡的位置:

在旅館裡定義這一刻在我人生裡的意義,出了旅館,我一邊尋找自己在這個城市的位置,混在大群的觀光客裡,這個任務特別有挑戰,雖然我也是其中之一,卻反骨地想證明自己不一樣。

大太陽底下,躲在Sisi Museum有陰影的大門後面畫著不確定的線條,打掃的阿姨說我的腳不能放在大理石上。


My place in the new city: 

I was defining the significance of my trip in my life inside the hotel room. When I walked out of the hotel, I was looking for my niche in this city. It was especially challenging when I knew that I was just one of the tourists, but I wanted to prove my difference so much. 

Before I found the answer, I hid in the shade behind the door of Sisi Museum. My lines were indefinite, and I had no idea what I was doing. The cleaning lady said I should put my legs down the marble ledge, but I could sit there drawing. 




因為帶著太多媒材,一下要用本子,一下要用水彩紙,同時還要遮陽,常常覺得自己很忙碌,羨慕Schoenbrunn動物園裡這個很自在的大隻仔。

It was distracting to bring so many sorts of media with me. I had to choose between the journal book and sheets of paper. And of course, there was the scorching sunshine to worry about. I found myself so busy that I really envied the big guy in the Schoenbrunn Zoo. 




觀光還是畫圖?

有時買了套票,激起了我的好勝心,告訴自己沒有時間畫圖,在大太陽底下跑來跑去,雖然有許多學習上的收穫,不過最後都覺得有些空虛。

前一天錯過的風景,第二天我會再跑回去記錄,我發現,只有坐下來安靜畫圖的時候,才感受到微風。


Sightseeing or sketching? 

The purchase of a package with one ticket could blind me. To visit as many museums as possible, I would persuade myself that I had no time to sketch, so I ran around like a madman under the sun. Much as I had learned, I couldn't help feeling kind of empty. 

I would go back to the same spot to make up for the view that I had missed. I realized that only when I sit down to draw peacefully will I feel cool breezes. 




關於寂寞這件事:

離開維也納的早上,天氣變糟了,拉行李出旅館時,我還想:和從前比起來,我一點都不寂寞。想不到過沒幾個小時,上帝便把這個大禮送給我。

從維也納到格拉茲的沿路風景很美,我卻越來越寂寞。


About loneliness: 

The day when I left Vienna, the weather took a downturn. The moment when I pulled my gigantic luggage out of the hotel, I thought to myself, "Well, at least now I don't feel lonely, if I have to list a difference from the past." Interestingly, as if to prove I was wrong, within a few hours, God bestowed the big gift on me.  

On my way from Vienna to Graz, I felt more and more lonely despite the lovely scenery. 





格拉茲
Graz 



危機即轉機:

每搬進新的旅館,我的寂寞感特別強烈,剛習慣上一個小房間,又移入陌生的新房間,一個人,不免感覺某種程度的淒涼。還赫然發現,我沒有帶轉接插頭是件嚴重的事,沒有iPad,我要如何和熟悉的世界保持連絡?


A crisis is also a turning point: 

I feel especially lonely when I change hotels. Right when I feel used to one little room, I have to adapt to another room. It feels bleak. It came as a blow when I found that I didn't have an adaptor with me. "How can I stay in contact with the world I know without my iPad?" 




旅行時只盯著眼前的風景:

別人羨慕我的假期、我的勇氣,但是我的內在有很多小劇場,還好我總是能找到答案─如果感到寂寞,一定是因為我忘了把速寫本拿出來。

那一天是週日在格拉茲,觀光客特別少、店家幾乎都關門,我卻找到我最忠實的旅伴─速寫本。


Live at the moment when you travel: 

Others envy me for my holidays, for my courage to travel alone, but truth be told, there was a lot going on inside of me. Fortunately, I always manage to find an answer: If I feel lonely, it must be that I forget to take out my sketchbook. 

That Sunday in Graz, tourists all left for somewhere else, most shops were closed, yet I found my most loyal partner--my sketchbook. 




從等公車開始畫到搭公車。

I sketched while waiting for the bus, while taking the bus. 




畫到城市裡的漫步之旅。

While walking in the city. 




畫到有感覺的作品。

While encountering artworks that I really adore.




畫到真的找到合適的位置畫圖,然後路人就來和我說:「你擁有特別的旅行記錄。」我在心裡接著說:「和很平靜的心。」

Until I found a perfect spot for sketching. Then the passer-by would tell me, "You have a special record of the trip." I went on to say, "And a very calm feeling." 




不一定要有意義:

我學著不去賦予每件事或每張圖意義,從純粹的觀察裡會產生全新的了解。


There's no need to give everything meaning: 

I learned not to give everything or every picture meaning. New understanding will arise from pure observation. 



米滕泉
Bad Mitterndorf



時時會有變化:

在安靜的鄉間車站等火車,卻發現火車不會來了,但我畫了一張圖,畫完之後接駁巴士出現了。


Be prepared for change all the time: 

I was sketching while waiting for the train in the quiet countryside only to find that the train wouldn't come. However, the shuttle bus came after I finished a sketch. 



聖沃夫崗
St. Wolfgang



下雨天坐在咖啡館裡是必要的選擇:

並不是走來走去才叫旅行。


It's a must to sit in a cafe on rainy days: 

Traveling is more than moving around... 




MUJI筆記本小而美,到這一點必須收起來,作每天的旅行文字記錄了。我帶了一堆顏料,最後畫出來的都是黑白作,這也是我始料未及的心境改變使然吧!


I had to stop drawing in the journal at this point because not many pages were left for my text record. I actually brought paints and colored pens with me, but to my surprise, I ended up drawing in black and white. That was what I hadn't expected beforehand!