Worth it! / 值得！

這一個星期開始是所謂的新生週，倫敦藝術大學的六個分校開出各種課程，我們可以自由選課上。但其實從昨天晚上就有迎新酒會，雖然從出生就跟著我的中年人個性很不喜歡那種昏暗又吵雜的場合，年幼的嘉蕊一直嚷嚷沒有朋友，我只好當她的伴遊，陪小姐交新朋友去。

From Sep. 26 on, we have a week of Fresher's Festival. Basically, six colleges of University of the Arts London offer various workshops and courses for new students to choose from. However, last night there was a welcome party. Born with a middle-age mindset, I never care for a dark and noisy occasion like that, but young Jazel kept grumbling about having no friends. To expand her social circles, I had no option but to escort her to the party.

出門時我一身運動打扮，嘉蕊覺得我很不進入狀況，果然去到倫敦傳播大學，參加的東方西方女孩們都小小裝扮，不過男孩數量真少，而且裡面至少有一半是愛男孩的，讓我們感到頗無耐。我們倆未買酒前，呆呆地站在吧台前，即使有可愛的男孩女孩和我們攀談，最後都走到沒話聊的盡頭。那不如喝點酒助興好了，誰知這一喝，走過來的是兩名中國同胞，其中一名怪怪的，都跟他說了我們可以講中文，他還是很投入地繞著英文，旁邊的音樂如雷，我們很辛苦地聊了一陣子，利用上廁所的藉口趕緊遁逃。再度復出時，我雙頰已紅到不行，所以當嘉蕊提議跳舞時，我毫無異議和她在空曠的舞池裡搖擺，連我都不敢相信那是我了。儘管人潮隨時間越晚越擁擠，大家都還是和自己的友人鬼混，我們兩個人最後的活動就是學習如何辨識同性戀，還一邊學習他們優美的姿態。回家的路上，我們覺得要向外發展，所以我們的計畫之一就是到牛津街的酒吧探險，不過在那之前我們要好好練習美姿美儀，還要研究談話內容如何發展。

Jazel found me really out of the loop when she saw my sportswear. When we arrived at LCC, we did encounter nicely-dressed Asian and European girls. But there were so few boys, half of whom probably love boys. Before buying any drink, we stood in front of the bar counter, kind of at sea. Even though some really cute girls and a boy tried to strike up conversations with us, we ended up in silence after three or four questions. We then decided to resort to alcohol. Right after we each bought a bottle of beer, two Chinese students came our way. One of them appeared rather desperate. Though we both understand and speak mandarin, he was rather committed to speaking English all along. With the background music blasting, we had a hard time communicating, so in the end, we came up with the excuse of going to the toilet room for a break. When we made our comeback, my cheeks were red and I was floating in the air. I didn't even oppose as Jazel suggested dancing. We shook and swung on the empty dance floor, and I DIDN'T MIND! I could hardly believe that was me. With time passing, more and more people crowded into the room, but most of them stuck to their own friends. We two ended up differentiating gays and learned their elegant postures. On our way home, we came to the conclusion--not to waste the year(s), we have to expand our circles beyond art schools. One of our plans is to explore bars and clubs downtown such as on Oxford Street. Before that, we have to work on our carriage and practice our pickup lines and conversation topics.

其實我暗自高興很早回到宿舍，因為我看好週一的環保印刷工作坊，只開放十個名額，所以那些孩子們玩到半夜兩點吧！我計劃很早就要去搶空位，這可比認識什麼可愛的弟弟重要太多了！

In fact, I was secretly happy about coming back to Brooke Hall early because I had my heart set on a green printing workshop on Monday, and it was open only to 10 students on a first-come first-serve basis. Kids, play as late possible. I'd be there very early for the openings, which is so much more important than meeting any cutie!

想當初我申請碩士，面試的教授說我的作品技術層面太簡單，當場開網頁展示在學學生的作品給我看，她說：你看，這有絹印的技巧，是不是很讚？抱著這口怨氣，其他人覺得這一個星期還可以放大假，我怎麼樣都要開始回收高額學費的價值。

As I applied for MA in illustration, my interviewer said the techniques involved in my works are too simple. She immediately logged onto the university's website and showed to me the students' works. She said, "In this image, you can see screen printing. Isn't it beautiful?" With this in mind, while others consider this week to be another week of holidays, I am more than ready to earn back the value of the exorbitant tuition fee. 

早了五十分到，居然前面已經有兩個人報名，工作坊的主持人是個金髮、穿著輕便的老師，她對簽了名說：去喝杯咖啡，到處逛一逛，十點半再回來，迷路也好啊！聽到最後一句話，我的心裡對於這個人默默有了定見。

I arrived 50 minutes early, but two students were ahead of me. The lecturer of the workshop is a blonde, casually-dressed teacher. She said to those who had signed, "Go get a cup of coffee, take a look around. Get lost!" On hearing the last sentence, I began to get a general clue of what this lady is like. 

時間到了，冒出來的學生超過十個人，芭芭拉不忍心拒絕沒有登記的人，好不容易開始上課，她先自我介紹，她是義大利人，本來只是來倫敦念三個月的英文，結果就進入倫敦傳播大學，一路修習下來，轉眼間在倫敦住了十二年。接下來每個人簡單介紹自己，大部份都是要修廣告傳播、織品設計及插畫的年輕孩子，但有一位華裔英籍的東方先生，他說：我應該是這裡最老的學生，我四十歲，之前本來是公務員，因為媽媽生病先暫停工作，可是母親過世之後就失業了。他原本想申請坎貝爾分校的繪畫，不過被拒絕了，只好進倫敦傳播大學的書本製作藝術。此時芭芭拉說，被拒絕並不是壞事，那代表上帝為你準備更好的選擇，她舉自己為例，本來她在義大利讀的是建築，念了六年還是沒讀完，原本一直覺得有遺憾，但後來走上視覺藝術和設計。才短短的幾分鐘，我覺得上的不只是印刷課，我見識到各種人生。

When the class was about to begin, more than 10 students popped out. Barbara was too kind to turn down those who hadn't registered. It took us a few more minutes to start. She first gave a short self-introduction. She is Italian. At first she came to London for a three-month-long English course, but she stayed and studied in London College of Communication. She went further up, and now she has lived in London for 12 years. Next it was everybody's turn to introduce themselves. Most of the students today were young people majoring in advertising, media, textile design and illustration. There was a British Chinese who really impresses me. He said, "I am probably the oldest student here. I am 40." He used to work in the public sector, but he took leave after his mother fell ill. When his mom passed away, he couldn't find a job with recession kicking in. He applied for BA in painting in Camberwell, but he was turned down, so he ends up studying book art in LCC. At this moment Barbara went on to say, "Being turned down is not necessarily a bad thing. It means God has a better choice for you." She took herself for example again. She studied architecture in Italy for six years without finishing it, which she thought of as regret, but later she switched her major to design and graphic art. Within 20 minutes, I had the feeling that this was more than a printing workshop. I had the honor to hear so many life stories. 

介紹完各種印刷方式之後，芭芭拉為我們選了乾筆印刷，並且開給我們一個主題，她要我們畫想像的城市一景，最終的目標是把大家的圖全部印在一張大海報上。

After telling us about all sorts of printing methods, Barbara decided for us the technique of dry point. She  gave us a topic--draw a building or a scene in an imaginary city. The ultimate goal was to print everyone's city on a large poster at the end of the day. 

連這些機器都歷史久遠，生產於西元1860年代，所以下午我們正式進入印刷時，芭芭拉說：每一次印出來都有不同效果，這間印刷室聚集的靈魂如果喜歡你們，就會保佑你。

Even these printing machines have a long history. They were made in the 1860s. So in the afternoon when we were printing, Barbara said, "Each print comes out different, but if the souls in this room like you, they'll bless you." 

我的假想城市裡有大樹攀爬到美好的境地，可是我的雕刻不夠深，墨色也沒有控制好，不是好作品，芭芭拉卻說，現在不好的作品都是為將來的某個好作品鋪路。有一次她因為沒做好把作品撕了幾片，發現那樣的撕痕反而替她找到了解答。

In my imaginary city, a huge tree takes us to a lovely land, but I didn't cut deep enough. Nor did I control the ink well. It was far from a good work, but Barbara said, "A bad work will lead to a good one at some point in the future." Once when she was about to tear up a piece of work, she realized that the tear created an excellent effect. 

在這樣的上課氛圍裡，我們很自然地稱讚別人的好作品，我甚至都因為自己的平庸感到開心，但是會想要更努力，好好學習。

Surrounded by such a positive atmosphere, we complimented on others' good works naturally. I was even ok with my own mediocre creation, but I do feel like working harder. 

芭芭拉倡導環保印刷和使用回收資源，因此她使用的上色顏料包括咖啡、菠菜汁等等，她之前的主修又是書本製作藝術，課程最後她和我們分享她的手工書，她強調我們要不斷地去圖書館或在網路上找視覺圖像作研究，隨身帶著速寫本，不停試驗各種想法。

Barbara advocates green printing and use of recycled materials, so she uses paints such as coffee or spinach. Since her major was book art, she shared with us her handmade books at the end of the workshop. She emphasized that we have to go to libraries or seek online visual images when doing research. Also, we have to turn to our sketchbooks all the time and experiment with all kinds of ideas. 

芭芭拉說有一次走在路上撿到兩張往巴黎的車票，她便開始想像是怎麼樣的兩個人一起去旅行，途中發生了什麼事，於是就幫這兩張車票作了一個家，有點像可以拉開的小故事書。

Barbara told us that once she picked two tickets to Paris on the road, she couldn't help imagining the two people that went on the trip and what happened on the way. She thus made a home for the tickets. It is sort like a small folded storybook that can be opened into a long strip of paper. 

其實芭芭拉只是管理印刷室的技術人員，我看到的是很澎湃的人生，全心投入創作，充滿人文精神，熱情與人分享，愛惜身邊的資源，我在倫敦的第一個老師是個簡單但散發著無窮生命力的藝術家。

In fact, Barbara is the technician in the printing room, but what I see is a very passionate life totally devoted to creating. She's full of love for the world, eager to share and treasure all resources. My first teacher in London is an artist that is simple but full of life force. 

上了芭芭拉的課，去了夢幻般的圖書館，又走到這一片牆前，這是渴望進倫敦藝術大學的申請者做的明信片，左邊的大字道盡了我的心情：但願你在這裡，我已經來了！今天的我想的已經不是我自己有多少天份，而是被這股巨大的力量包覆著，就算被淹沒，我也感到非常幸福。

After Barbara's class, I visited the fantastic library. Then I found this wall, on which postcards made by applicants for foundation studies are posted to show their desire to get into the programs. The big words on the left fully express my thought: I wish you were here. I am. Today I no longer thought about how much talent I have. Even if I am drowned in this huge force which envelopes me, I feel very very blissful. 

如果用現在這一點的心情看將來要離開的那一點，我已經開始捨不得了。

If now I have to envision the point when I have to leave, I think I have already felt heavy nostalgia...