old friends and new friends / 舊朋友和新朋友

本來和安蒂安排好明天要去巴斯城和她會合，可是我心不在焉的，一直拖到今天早上才上網查車票價，也搞不清楚真正票價約多少，但對於一個昨天把一整張五十磅大鈔花完的傻蛋來說，我很擔心這樣下去沒過多久，我就得捲鋪蓋回家，所以我很欠扁地說我不能去了，反悔自己之前作的承諾，我也痛苦了一整天。

I planned to meet Andie up in Bath tomorrow, but I was so absent-minded that I didn't look up the train tickets until this morning. I wasn't sure about the average prices, but for an idiot who spent up a fifty-pound bill yesterday, the amount seemed quite hefty. I am very worried that if I spend money at this rate, I'll have to go home in a few months' time. Thus, I did something unforgivable--I texted her saying that I can't go. It pains me for a whole day thinking that I've eaten my own words.

來到英國讀書雖然是實現我的夢想，不過這個決定的附加課程是讓我能好好面對自己不善理財的缺陷，來之前很多本來會買的東西不能買，來之後去連買雜貨買到高級一點的版本都覺得不好意思，我原本是個不擔心錢的人，現在卻覺得我要能屈能伸，換一種觀點也能生活。

It's my dream to come to the UK for studies, but the bonus for this decision is that I can face my disability to manage money. Before coming, I  gave up buying many objects I would have bought. After coming, I feel bad about opting for a slightly more luxurious version of house goods. It's hard to imagine that I hardly worried about money, yet now I tell myself to be flexible. I'll live a good life when I am able to look at life from a different point of view.

中午吃完飯我把J昨天帶來給我的電鍋拿出來整理，它身上的污垢應該是放在倉庫許久的痕跡，我邊洗邊想，上一個主人的故事是什麼，他來英國念什麼，有沒有在傷心時刻被電鍋煮的白飯安慰的故事，我因為這個電鍋和世界上的某個陌生人有了連結，怎麼能說我是一個人呢？把它洗得白帥帥之後很有成就感。

After finishing lunch, I took out the cooker J had brought yesterday. The stains and smudges on it implied that it had been forgotten long in a corner of the apartment. I couldn't help thinking about the stories of its previous master. "What did he or she come to the UK for? Studies? Was he or she once consoled by the smell and taste of the steaming rice at downbeat moments?" A connection was formed between me and someone somewhere in this world. How could I say I am alone? I gained a sense of achievement after brushing off all its wrinkles and tears. 

J還送我幾個盤子和碗，以我之前中產皆級不食人間煙火的想像，會想買價格中等的陶盤，看著這兩個很有中國餐館味的盤子，心想以後朋友來我家吃飯必定會留下深刻印象，漸漸地也就喜歡上它們了。

J also gave me some plates and bowls. I would have thought of buying affordable yet fancy pottery plates if I had kept my annoying bourgeois insistence. However, after I looked long at these two plates that have a very strong Chinese-restaurant-feel to it, I bet friends that come to my place for a meal will certainly be impressed. Gradually, I found them rather adorable. 

把廚房整理好，我為新廚具和二手廚具拍張合照，我說：我們從今要一起生活，要互相友愛，誰也不能嫌棄誰。

After having cleaned the kitchen, I took a shot of new and old utensils. I said, "From today on, we are going to live together and love one another. No one can find fault with the others." 

午後坐在書桌前思考時，心裡還是很過意不去，剛好喬伊出來抽煙，我把窗戶打開探頭和他聊天，我告訴他自己的食言行徑，還碎碎念：我真是個大壞蛋。我猜他大概沒有心理準備這個歐巴桑如此坦誠，雖然趕著回去吃早餐，卻說以後會常到窗口和我聊天。

In the afternoon while I was thinking at my desk, I still felt very guilty. When I spotted Joey coming out for a smoke, I pried open my window to have a quick chat with him. I told him about my act of eating words and mumbled, "I feel like an asshole." I guess he was taken aback by the honesty of a middle-aged lady. Though he was in a hurry to go back to his room for breakfast, he promised to talk to me when he comes to my window. 

下午下了好長一陣陰雨，有英格蘭典型天氣的味道了。還好，藍天白雲還是回來了，我知道安蒂一定很生氣，可是目前這一刻我很需要找回穩定的腳步。

It rained for a few hours in the afternoon. The weather starts to feel English. Luckily, in the end, the blue sky and white clouds still took over. I know Andie must be very upset with me, but at this moment I am in desperate need to find back my pace. 

更何況我是個念舊的人‧‧‧

Not to mention the fact that I am very much attached to old friends...