After going to Bologna Book Fair, I was disillusioned with the education in London. I had planned to do home schooling for the third term. While most people said they could understand, Caterina pointed out that I can't give up so easily if I still want to be an illustrator. I was aware of my tendency to escape though. Anyway, I went to school.
In the beginning, I told myself that showing up is better than hiding at home. With the mindset that I might not hand in the assignments in the end, my classmates found me to be quite relaxed. I also had tutorials with Lu as usual, though as all of you know, I played throughout the whole Easter break.
Then came the funny thing. We had our second tutorial today. I was still not prepared, but I mentioned I'd like to focus my report on the application of illustration in the context of education. Then Lou gave me tons of clues. She even said, "We have to give a specific title to your report. You really feel like doing the topic?" I replied, "This has a lot to do with my work. I find it interesting." Though I am not that committed, I have a feeling that I'll still come up with something in the end. I have tried to break free of my past image of being a perfect student. I am wondering maybe I'll produce something better since I am not so stressed like before.
I am witnessing one of the most beautiful seasons in London now. The daytime has stretched, but my current serene joy is the answer I deserve after months of groping for my direction in the dark. Now I don't ask much of myself except enjoying the ride and sleeping well. Since I know well that I'll still be drawing happily into the next 30 or 40 years of my life, this year is just a grand beginning, not an end.