the middle point / 中間點

上一篇網誌說到我忙了一整個週末，在週日晚上和嘉蕊用餐時，她問我為何不用老師和同學建議的想法，我本來脫口而出說，我不是很懂他們的重點，但這麼說的那一刻，我突然想通了，因為之前為了玫瑰湊合出來的圖像仍舊牽強，本來我都要翹腳休息了，卻在週日晚上犧牲看愚蠢偶像劇畫新的草圖。

In my last entry, I mentioned how I was totally dedicated to my first idea during the weekend. On Sunday evening when I dined with Jazel, she asked me how come I didn't give a second thought to the idea picked by Lou and my classmates. I blurted out, "I don't quite get their point," and on saying that, I figured it out. After all, the new images I produced to go with the rose image are not so closely linked to it. I had planned to take Sunday evening off, but then I sacrificed my leisure activity of watching silly TV series for drawing new sketches. 

新的想法有關命運的主題，把羅密歐和茱麗葉的故事放到不同的時代，羅密歐都還是會陰錯陽差錯過羅倫斯神父傳遞給他的訊息，以致他最後誤以為茱麗葉死了也跟著自殺，我選了劇本當時派信差的年代、1950年用電報和現在的手機通訊。

My new idea has to do with the theme of fate. My point states that no matter which context we place the story of Romeo and Juliet, the former will miss Friar Lawrence's message coincidentally so that he ends up believing that Juliet is really dead, which leads to his suicide. I chose the era of the play when messages were delivered by messengers, the 1950s when telegrams were dispatched and modern days of cell phone communication. 

不同於上個想法的抽象表達，這次我想用三幅漫畫呈現，而我之所以覺得很辛苦是因為平常愛怎麼畫就怎麼畫，但最近老聽老師說要去找參考資料，所以我先把各個年代的建築和字體找來，一一畫好才做最後的稿，這當中我覺得我要很努力地才能畫出來像其它漫畫家的流暢線條。

Different from the abstract thinking of my previous idea, this time I'd like to make use of the comic form in three images. I found it really challenging because I don't usually pay attention to the real proportions of human figures or buildings. However, lately the teachers have often mentioned the importance of getting references. Thus I looked for architecture, clothing styles, and typography of all the eras needed. I drew based on the information before settling for the final draft. In the process, I made much effort trying to present the flowing lines of really admirable graphic novelists or comic artists. 

相對於很多無法放掉堅持的同學，我完全相反，我可以很快地接受建議，對於我原本的東西沒有留戀，也很願意聽別人的想法，這和我老是覺得自己不夠好的想法很有關係。

Compared with many classmates who can't let go of their preferred subject matters and styles, I am at the other end of the spectrum. I am more than ready to take others' advice, and I discard what I have without nostalgia. I'd like to hear what others think as well, all of which has much to do with the deep-rooted thought that I don't think I am good enough. 

週一繪里看了我的稿之後很明白地對我說，就做莎士比亞年代的連環圖吧，我很高興地採納她的看法。

On Monday after Elie took a look at my drafts, she said to me straightforward that I should do the Shakespearean era comics. I accepted it gladly. 

因為在原著裡，送信的神父去到曼都亞時，當地有疫情，他被隔離起來，因此無法及時傳遞信件。這個版本連我自己都覺得很難懂，而且圖像和字體都不行，明明我想了很多，結果卻很可怕。我和嘉蕊討論之後決定試試看現代版。

In the original play, Friar John, who is the messenger, is quarantined when he tries to deliver the letter to Romeo in Mantua. I found this version hard to comprehend, not to mention the terrible writing and typography. I covered as much as possible while doing the planning, but it ended up as a disaster. After I discussed with Jazel, I decided to try the modern version first. 

草稿裡本來放了很多細節，但我想到這個廣告是要放在地鐵站，大部份的乘客只會花幾秒的時間觀看，所以昨天就把一切簡化。

There were many details in the drafts, but upon thinking that the ad is designed for the metro station, most passengers will spend no more than a few seconds reading it. I therefore simplified the images yesterday. 

最後這幾張看起來線條簡單，我卻花上一整天定稿試色等等。

Though the final images look really simple, it took me a whole day to decide the final look and try out the colors. 

連嘉蕊也來幫我試字體和排版。

Jazel helped me with the typography and layout. 

把圖又重畫一次才做最終版，弄到晚上十點多，我真的覺得快虛脫了。

I redrew individual images before arranging the final version. I didn't finish it until 10:30 pm, and meanwhile, I was dehydrated. 

我覺得這是我的極限，所以不論老師給我什麼評論，我都問心無愧。露看了之後說：這不是你的東西，你怎麼能做出這麼無聊的作品呢？她說之前那些隨便畫的小圖都比這個好太多，因為這些圖看起來很死。

I felt that this was what I could come up with, so no matter what comment the tutor gave me, I wouldn't feel guilty toward myself. After Lou looked at my work today, she said: This is not you. The work is boring. She said the thumbnail images I did before are way better than this because the images look dead. 

回家的路上我想著，我不應該沮喪的，我覺得自己畫不好，露喜歡的卻是那個我，而急於改進的我把那部份也拋到腦後，在想要用圖像溝通時，我犧牲了原來有的東西，啊，如果這算是人生很困難的課題，其實算簡單了，我的課題是找到中間點。

On my way home I thought to myself, I shouldn't feel discouraged. I never think I am good enough, but Lou likes the part of me I negate. And as I am eager to make progress, I have thrown that part of me behind. In trying to "communicate" through my image, I sacrifice what I have. Well, if this is a difficult question in life, then life isn't that difficult. My lesson is to find the middle point. 

下午讀瑞典插畫家亞斯翠林格蘭寫的Pippi的故事，皮皮說：活著是多麼美妙啊！是啊，可以看到美麗的冬日景色，可以知道自己的問題，可以勇敢面對，沮喪不超過六分鐘，還好下星期才是最後的交稿日，還好‧‧‧

In the afternoon when I was reading the story of Pippi written by the Swedish illustrator Astrid Lindgren, Pippi said, "How glorious it is to be alive!" Indeed. I get to see the fascinating winter scenery, find out my problems and face them with courage without feeling depressed for more than six minutes. And fortunately, I have another week before the final due date. Fortunately...