Looking / 看

昨天晚上又做了傻事，邊看大仁和又青就吃掉了一整條巧克力餅乾，為了減輕罪惡感，我還穿上大外套去冷冷的中庭繞圈圈，冬天真不是我的季節啊！

Yesterday evening I was out of control again. While watching a very popular Taiwanese drama, I ate up a whole pack of double chocolate chip cookies. To alleviate myself of the erosive sense of guilt, I put on my super warm overcoat for a walk in the freezing courtyard. I am by no means a winter person!

古巴海報設計師巴克斯之作 / posters by the Cuban poster artist Bachs

今天早上起來繼續自我檢討，我只要有什麼想不通的做不好的，都得靠畫畫當作治療。昨天一整天都在研究我要寫的報告，主題是1960年代的古巴海報設計對今日視覺設計的影響，這裡寫報告的方法很特別，老師不僅要看最後的報告，我們還要交整個過程做的筆記、搜集的資料和自己的速寫，這樣真的可以讓我們完完全全和研究內容融成一片啊！我很喜歡這個叫巴克斯的設計師， 他 並沒有受過科班訓練，所以他的作品有那種天真的感覺。

This morning after I woke up, I thought about imposing more rigor on my dieting plan. Well, when I can't figure out something or fail to meet my own expectations, I turn to drawing as a form of therapy. Yesterday I was working on my essay, whose topic is about the influence of Cuban posters from the 1960s on the modern visual communication. Here teachers require students to hand in not only the final essay. We also have to submit development files, which include the notes, photocopies and our drawings. I do think that this will make me become part of the research. I really love the works of this designer named Bachs. He didn't receive any formal art training, so that's why there is this naive feel in his art.

既然我這麼受不了冬天，不如我就用巴克斯的風格來畫個冬日系列的明信片：

Since I don't like winter so much, why not draw a series of postcards based on Bachs' style?

冬天的冷度可以用我的小腹圓度測量。

You can measure the coldness of winter with the diameter of my belly. 

今天我開始我的水果減肥法。

Today I started my fruit dieting plan. 

早上有一刻我問自己：你在這裡做什麼？另一個聲音說：你在活出你的夢想啊！

At one moment in the morning, I asked myself, "What are you doing here?" A voice replied, "You are living out your dream!" 

這是為一個即將搬到夏天去的貴賓畫的‧‧‧

This is reserved for a VVIP who's about to move to summer... 

可能是我的罪惡感，這個畫畫治療還挺有效的，加上我的土司發霉了，早上我很清心寡慾。

Together with my potent guilty feeling, this drawing therapy was rather effective. Besides, my toast went stale, so I didn't have any uncontrollable craving in the morning. 

下午是我和老師學期末總面談的時間，，我大包小包地帶出門。我的面談老師是德瑞克，雖然他負責的是平面設計組的同學，但是他也和許多國際學生面談。德瑞克是很有愛心的老師，因為他之前也沒特別看過我的作品，他給的評語很客觀，他說他的確感受到我作品裡的熱情，但是他沒看到客觀的觀察，我必須加強「看」的部份，我說我很明白自己的問題，他於是開給我很像藥方的評語單：每天畫一張客觀的圖。

In the afternoon I had the tutorial with my teacher, so I left home with tons of drawings. My tutor this time was Derek. Though he is mostly in charge of the graphic design majors, he also schedules talks with international students this week. Derek is a very patient and wonderful teacher. He has hardly looked at my works before, so he gives me very objective feedback. He said that he does feel the energy in my works, but he doesn't see the observed drawings. I have to emphasize the act of looking. I said that I am also aware of my own problem. He suggests that I do a drawing of the observation on a daily basis. 

而且好玩的是，德瑞克點出來的好圖和之前麥特說的完全重疊，居然都是我沒在想要畫得好時產出的作品，包括可怕的羊！所以摒棄個人的主觀感覺，圖的好壞基本上是有某些標準的。

The funny thing is that the drawings that Derek thinks of as good are nearly the same as those picked by Matt, and these are pictures done when I wasn't thinking of impressing anyone, including the scary sheep! I've learned that apart from subjective feeling, there are certain criteria when it comes to judging drawings. 

放假的這個月裡，看似有很多時間，可是也可以很充實，我又站起來了，我不會被冬天和競爭打敗！

It seems that I have ample time during the one-month break, but there is so much to do. Now I am back on my feet. I won't be defeated by winter and competitions!