I had a week of insomnia. When looking for remedies, the search shed light on many details I hadn't got to see before. Thus I made some self-adjustment. I can't tell for sure if insomnia will occur again in the days to come, but at least I am a new person now.
I want to give special thanks to those who have been giving me a hand all along. The aftermath of insomnia is that I'll begin to doubt my existence and the world. Very luckily, my faraway friends and family have always been my great mental support, and also friends here give me the feeling of love. It's very important to know that I am surrounded by love and concern.
from left to right: Elie, Tereza
from left to right: Hsiao-chi, Momo
from left to right: Wen Dee, me, Tatiana
Last Sunday we went out to celebrate the birthday of the two beautiful girls in the first photo. Then I discovered that though I appeared to be sociable, I didn't really open my heart. That was why I didn't have a sense of belonging here. If I hadn't gone through insomnia, I wouldn't have found this could be a major issue for me.
As a matter of fact, I don't have much time left. I should cherish people around me because I'll have only the photos to turn to in the future.
I've been thinking a lot about my family and the life I took for granted. This year in London is really worth the money because I've been transformed from head to toe and looked at the old trauma deep in me. And this reminds me of what Ms. Anderson, the professor that recruits students in Taiwan, said, "You'll be pieced together in a new way." Maybe people will think that a year abroad for a thirty-something person should be a piece of cake, but at least in my case I've had my struggles.
I found that doodling before going to bed helps a lot. One day when my classmates were going through my sketchbook, one of them said she likes the upper image. I replied jokingly, "Because I drew it at the cost of sleep..."
It used to be me to give others feeling of love, but after having traveled for so long, I feel that feeling of love from others. Thank you for being there for me...