Anchor / 錨

夏卡爾展期間，好些同事見到我紛紛說，夏卡爾讓他們想起我，的確，我的外在既踏實又穩重，內心卻雙腳離地，但大部分時候都還能找到某種平衡。

During Chagall’s exhibition, some colleagues coincidentally told me that he reminded them of me. Indeed, I am down-to-earth and poised on the outside while inside, I hardly have my feet glued to the ground though I manage to strike a balance between the two extremes most of the time.

四月搬家之後，花了一些時間適應新家和新社區的環境，如同去到旅館，我第一個找的便是書桌，新書桌不大，不過很快就被我貼得花花綠綠，(其實最終目的是為了隱藏濺到白牆上的墨汁)，這是讓我能自由飛翔後，再度安穩回到地面的秘密。最近邊畫畫聽了想了好多種人生的滋味，有失戀的心情，想追回舊愛的心情，被弟弟的胡言亂語逗樂的心情，和宥媽分享生活的心情，等等等等，有一天再度搬離，我希望自己不要忘記這些美麗的回憶。

After I moved in April, it took me some time to get accustomed to the new apartment and new neighborhood. Like going to a hotel, the first thing I look for is always the desk. My current desk isn’t large, but now it has been transformed into a colorful space by me, for the hidden purpose of trying to cover the ink stains I accidentally splashed onto the walls. This is my sanctuary, where I can land safe and sound after my countless imaginary flights into kingdoms that others don’t know exist. And lately I’ve been collecting so many stories during phone talks while drawing at the desk. There are tales of lost love, desperate love, family love, and so on and on and on. I hope I won’t forget the calm and satisfaction I feel here when I move away one day.

下半年要展開了，想到還有兩個多月可以坐在新書桌前工作，不禁感到慶幸，我也希望秋天在倫敦，有這樣一張書桌等著我。

The second part of the year is about to unfold. Simple happiness wells up in my heart when I hit upon the thought that the desk will accompany me for another two months. Moreover, I hope there will be another desk waiting for me in autumn in London.

Crossing the boundary / 跨界

早上進辦公室時，發現Highway在我桌上留下的圖，這個時間點特別令人感心，因為再四天就要大考了，希望花在準備這張圖的過程有舒壓的作用。放空的時候盯著它看，馬上又充滿元氣。

Upon entering the office this morning, I found the beautiful surprise left on my desk by Highway. It was especially heart-warming to receive it at such a point because the college entrance exam is about to take place in four days. I hope that the process of working on this drawing served to release Highway’s pressure. I stared at it when distracted from work, and I was recharged with a whole chest of vibes right away.

壁畫 062511第三版 / third version of wall-painting draft, June, 25, 2011

過了幾個小時，去Luco餐廳做了第二次的壁畫上工前的現場探勘，木工師傅居然像意外發現寶的問我是不是專門畫牆壁，並且很快地就拿起電話連絡相關事宜的負責人，要離開之前還稱呼我「畫師」，雖然聽起來很像是從前被雇來畫電影宣傳版面的畫匠，但是我有一種被尊敬的感覺，他從來沒看過我畫的圖，我也不一定會打他留下的電話，卻感覺快要走上一直憧憬的路。我得記住這一刻，當將來我小小的微弱的光芒，被淹沒在其他人更閃耀的強光裡，我還有可以鼓勵自己的動力。

After a few hours, I had moved from the school to Luco, a new restaurant scheduled to open in July for the preparatory work of the wall-painting project. After informing the carpenter of my reason for being there, he acted as if he found a gigantic treasure. Confirming with me that I had “some” experience of painting walls, he groped for his cellphone in the pocket and gave a call to his sister, who owns a gallery which also hires artists to paint and design walls. Before leaving, he even called me a master of wall painting, which really swept my feet off the ground. The funny thing was that he had never seen my works. I wouldn’t necessarily call the number he left, but this didn’t stop me from being carried away by the illusion that I am about to embark on a career that I’ve always been dreaming of. I am going to bear in mind the glory and vanity of this moment so that I can turn back when my faint and insignificant glow is outshone by others’ brilliant talents in the future.

to Taidung / 去台東

我要在出國之前，蒐集很多和家人的回憶，所以我們搭著小方手繪的火車一起去台東。一路上有山有海，有雨水也有陽光，更有小楷的瘋狂囈語。到達目的地之後，金黃色的稻田和翠綠的山脈歡迎我們，除了手臂上曬黑的痕跡，我發現了孩子們睡覺時歪七扭八的怪習慣，但因為我肉肉的肚子被當成舒服的枕頭，我覺得自己的重要性在一夜之中無限晉級，證據如下：小楷第二天起床首先呼叫的便是「汪達」。

I want to collect as many memories as possible with my family before leaving, so we took Von’s hand-drawn train to Taidung. On our way, we greeted the mountains and the sea, rain and sunshine, accompanied by Kai’s wacky rambling. There in Taidung, we were embraced by golden rice fields surrounded by pine-green mountains. What I gained, apart from a tan, was the discovery that the children are in the habit of changing their positions while sleeping. However, with my soft belly serving as a comfy pillow, I guess that I have won the entry to the most intimate circle in the boys’ mind. The proof: Kai woke up calling my name the first thing in the morning.

在有影像的回憶以外，最重要的是，我又上了一課，真正的愛是平實不花俏，卻細水長流‧‧‧

Beyond memories that can be recollected in the pictorial form, the most important lesson I learned during this trip is that though true love looks plain with no fancy appearance, it is indeed long-lasting…

KISS / 吻

花了三天和十個月大的宥宥相處，終於得到慢熱王子的滿心接納，從願意和我單獨玩耍，對著我滿臉微笑，到用小手探索我的臉，最後得到媽媽的允許，我可以和宥宥接吻，本來只是鬧著玩的隔空接吻，結果這小子居然識相得在我嘴巴靠近之際，帥氣地拔掉奶嘴，哇，我就麼湊上去他口水豐潤的小嘴，也因此忘不了他。看來接吻是人生來的本能呢！

I spent three days with my ten-month-old nephew Yoyo, and in the end, I got what I deserved—his whole heart of love. At first, he cried upon seeing me, but then after one or two days, he was willing to play with me alone, smiled at me with every facial feature creased into a lovely crescent. He also explored my face with his small hand, which is a gesture reserved only for the most intimate family. Best of all, with his mom’s permission, I was allowed to KISS him! I wasn’t so serious in the beginning, but Yoyo was cool enough to pull away his pacifier when my lips neared his. Voila, I couldn’t help but smack him on the “juicy” lips. From then on, I knew he is going to be another unforgettable love in my life. It seems that we were all born with the knack for kissing!

The Lover’s Dictionary / 戀人字典



在圖書館發有作者親筆簽名的「戀人字典」，二話不說就借了回來，故事以無名式的敘述者，用生字列舉的排列，書寫戀情裡的種種。

I accidentally spotted the book The Lover’s Dictionary with the author’s autograph, and I knew right on the spot that I didn’t want to miss this book. The story is narrated by a nameless character with the structure of word entries from A to Z on his relationship.

在「頌歌」此篇，敘事者提到初發芽的關係裡，「我仍然懼怕對話中的每一段空白，害怕一切就這麼結束，我們已走到無話可說的盡頭。我仍然試著讓你留下好印象，我希望你也能讓我印象深刻，我才能把你的了不起當成故事說給朋友聽。」

Under the entry “anthem,” he mentions in a budding love affair, “I was still scared by every gap in our conversation, fearing that this was it, the point where we had nothing left to say. I was still trying to impress you, and I still wanted to be impressed by you, so I could pass along pieces of your impressiveness in stories to my friends.” p. 13

這讓我想到上週末，和小方提到十天後我們要一起去的旅行，他像少年的歌德道：我好想你，還好時間過得很快，今天是星期天，星期一，星期二，星期三，星期四，星期五，星期六，星期天，星期一，我就見到妳了，我好期待和你一起旅行。這個小故事讓我可以得意地在朋友中傳誦，走在路上沒事想到也會偷笑喔！

This reminds me of my phone talk with Von last weekend. The conversation centered around the trip we are going to take together in ten days. He murmured with a sentimental touch resembling that of young Werther, “I miss you so much. Luckily time passes by fast. Today is Sunday. There are Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. Then I’ll be seeing you. I am so looking forward to traveling with you.” I am very proud to pass this story of Von’s impressiveness to my friends, and I can’t help giggling with a bright halo above my head while walking on the roads!

Draw! / 畫畫吧！

去醫院複檢我富貴的左膝，醫生說，因為先天骨頭排列不良，膝蓋會慢慢有問題，接下來腳踝、髖關節及右腳都會受到影響，我問有甚麼治療的方式，他丟了一句，穿特製的鞋墊可以恢復，接著遞過來名片，我有些狐疑歪著頭看他，心想，真的有如此神奇的鞋墊嗎？

I went to the hospital to have my weak left knee re-examined. The doctor said that the bones are genetically predisposed to being easily injured, so not only the knee but also the ankle, the hip joints as well as my right leg will suffer from pain in the days to come. I asked if there is any treatment available. He answered listlessly that wearing specially-made insoles will work wonders. Then he passed a name card with specific information about whom to contact. I tilted my head staring at him with doubt and wondering, are there such magical shoe pads?

等拿藥的時候胡思亂想得有點心煩，不過盯著前幾排的先生美麗的後腦勺，告訴自己不如畫畫吧，讓我先去飛一飛，再回來面對現實。

While waiting for my turn to get the prescriptions, I indulged myself in wild imagination of the worst case scenarios. But the beautiful skull of a certain patient rows ahead reminded me to draw as a sedative. Everything could wait until my flying back from the world without pain and worry.

the end of childhood / 童年的尾巴

小方再兩個月就五歲了，但是我們講電話時，我常有和成年人交談的錯覺，他瞭解也喜歡用大人的詞彙，我聽了總是哭笑不得，最近連起雲劑都成為我們談話的內容之一，這個孩子成長的速度讓人跟不上。

Von is about to turn five in two months, but when we chat on the phone, I have the feeling that I am conversing with a grown-up. He understands and loves to use adults’ vocabulary, though I am not sure if it’s something to be glad about. This week he even mentioned the term “clouding agent” in our conversation. Somehow I can’t catch up with him as he matures at such a surprising rate.

其實我有點感傷，我想和他說，起雲劑那種話題就交給大人，他不需要操心，他有時也要像小楷，發揮小孩子古靈精怪的創意，經過大樓前的噴水池會說：爸爸，我要游泳；沒有大人理的時候同樣玩得不亦樂乎。

In fact, I feel sort of sentimental. I want to tell him that he’s the last person to worry about clouding agents. Sometimes he should just free his wild imagination like Kai, who will utter, “Daddy, I want to swim!” when passing by a fountain surrounded by skyscrapers in a commercial district. And Kai has the time of his life even when the adults totally forget his existence.

小楷喜歡搬動我們的行李箱，我幫他畫了一張行李箱的秘密，小方說：這真是有趣的圖，但是為甚麼成片的葉子會變成高速公路呢？車子又怎麼會飛起來呢？我心裡想，因為我希望你不論長多大，都能自由自在，我們有這麼多人在幫你緊緊抓著童年的尾巴啊！

Kai enjoys pushing around our suitcase when he comes to visit, so I drew a picture about the secret inside for him. Von asked, “This is an interesting picture, but how come the foliage becomes a green highway and why does the car fly?” My answer is, “Because I hope no matter how old you are, you can always remain so carefree at heart. After all, so many of us are seizing the tail of childhood for you to be a child a little bit longer!”

Curlier / 捲髮人

A-one和我說了Kelly的蘿蔔人，我想我也可以來個捲髮人，第一份實驗品就是薛吉三年前託我設計的帽子，終於靈感在三年後降臨，做完之後我們在咖啡店裡就玩起自拍來了，原來少女們都是這樣玩的啊！

A-one mentioned the Carrotor designed by Kelly. It dawned on me that I can come up with my Curlier figure. The first experiment is the cap Shaggy asked me to design three years ago. Finally, I am blessed with an inspiration three years later. Then we can’t help taking silly photos with the cap on in the café, which gives me an opportunity to experience how it feels to be a young girl again…

Farewell works / 分手的禮物

我發現女孩們拿著畫作來時都不好意思，深怕作品不夠好，正因為如此，我更要把每張圖放到網誌上。對我來說，這些作品背後的心意遠勝於一切。

I found that when girls came to me with their works, most of them were kind of diffident, afraid that the drawings are not good enough. It is right because of this that I have to post all the images on my blog. For me, the thought behind them counts more than anything else in the world.

Carol’s Letter Set / 卡蘿的信紙組

自從卡蘿請我設計個人化的信紙信封，我去了平溪、陽明山、金山，最喜歡的是台灣的山和海，簡單但顏色飽滿的曲線。最後的答案在我家－美麗的蘭花盆栽。

Ever since Carol asked me to design customized letter sets for her, I have been to Pingxi, Yangmingshan and Jingshan. What I love most about Taiwan is the simple yet colorful lines of its mountains and sea. And the last answer lies right on our coffee table in the living room—the charming and noble-looking orchid flowers.

inside the mailbox / 信箱裡的風景

去年寄一封信給頎頎妹妹，媽媽說她看到信箱裡有不尋常的風景，取出信件之前興奮不已，當時她還未滿兩歲，就算是再年輕的眼睛都無法拒絕手繪的線條和顏色。

Last autumn when I mailed my first letter to Chichi, her mom later told me that she had detected something unusual in the mailbox before fetching it. At that time, she was no older than two years old. This tells us that human eyes, no matter how young, can’t resist hand-drawn lines and colors.

今天要出去寄信給頎頎之前，我也想看看，自己的信件躺在信箱裡會不會格外引人注目，不過看來是我的行為比較醒目，我在大廳東弄西弄時，管理員對我的異常之舉感到很可疑。

This evening before going out to send Chichi another letter, I was quite curious about how my mail looked in the mailbox. Well, my suspicious act in the lobby ended up attracting the attention of the concierge…

Our Commencement / 我們的畢業典禮

不說graduation ceremony，而選了commencement，因為對我們每一個人來說，即將面對的是新的開始，這麼想反而沒有時間傷感。

Instead of going for the term graduation ceremony, I chose commencement. For every one of us, what immediately comes our way is a brand-new start. With this mindset, I realize that there is really no time left for feeling sentimental.

謝謝每個小朋友的心意，還有每位父母的盛情，我會不時地回頭看，也會很認真地向前走，我要說，謝謝這三年和你們所有人的相遇。

I want to thank every girl for your thoughtfulness and every parent for your good will. I will constantly look back and move ahead trying to do my best. In the end, I cannot let you go without telling you that I thank God for our encounter.

也要暫時和親愛的鐵櫃說再見，不過等我回來的時候，它會換上完全嶄新的風格。

I have to say goodbye to my dear locker for the time being as well, but when I come back, I promise that it will take on a totally different style.

Being LOVED / 被愛著

今天早上小雪問，要和小朋友分手了，畢業典禮上會不會哭，一向很酷的我居然說：我不知道。雖然我也有自己的路要走，我不太能想像每天不再為我自己的孩子準備驚喜，或者得忍住愚蠢的笑話，連要稱讚哪個韓星很帥也無處講。

This morning Sharon asked me if I will burst into tears in the graduation ceremony to come. Even I myself didn't expect to hear the answer that blurted out of my mouth: I don't know...Though I have my own life plans, I can't quite imagine, at least for the time being, how it feels to not be able to prepare surprises for these kids every day, or how it feels to have to swallow back my silly jokes, and worst of all, how it feels to have no one to share the beauty of my favorite Korean stars.

為了義無反顧地離別，我送出無數張的明信片和過去裱框的畫作，剛做完一部回顧短片，本來以為這就是終點，但最近孩子們又欣喜地請我在畢業紀念冊裡留念，有的人讓我一畫再畫，我有種自己是畢卡索再世的錯覺，感覺真的不會有說再見的時候。

To bid farewell without regret, I sent out countless postcards and several framed paintings to each person. Also, I just finished a short film on the three years we had spent together. I thought that was the end, but kids have asked me to draw in their yearbooks with sincerity and delight. I drew more than one picture for some of them, which gave me the illusion that I am Picasso incarnate. It feels as if we would never say goodbye.

看起來我似乎給了很多，但其實所有的愛最後都回到我身上，我從女孩們身上看到自己的樣子，也得到每個人獻給我的一張畫，有些是他們畢生最好的作品，我要把這些圖帶在身邊，等我遠行到陌生的城市，這些影像會提醒我，我是被愛的人。

It looks like I have given much, but in fact, all the love comes back to me with far more warmth. I see in my girls the way I am, and I get drawings as farewell gifts from them. Some are their cherished best works. I will bring the artworks with me, so when I travel to a new city with strangers surrounding me, they will whisper to me constantly that I am loved.