between text and illustration / 文圖之間

今年開始對自己的創作模式有一些思考，好一陣子都是從文字著手，有時寫到沒有畫面，自己也察覺不到，所以我想改變。

This year I started to have some reflection on my pattern of making a picture book. For the past few years I have written the text first, but the danger is that sometimes part of the text doesn't conjure up any visual image, which I might not be aware of.  

        自從去上了繪本課之後，得到很多刺激，例如說我又一再被提醒，所有好作品的出發點都是創作者本身要享受整個過程，那些外加的目的和野心必須先放在一邊。

     Ever since I attended the picture-making courses, I have gained much stimulation. For one thing, I am constantly reminded that I have to discard my ambition and focus on enjoying making a book.

        雖然在分享作品方面，我是個超級膽小鬼，可是看到同學們大方地把作品擺出來，懇切地和老師同儕討論，我也自我鼓勵，每次上課都不斷突破心防。

     I am a coward when it comes to sharing my works, but seeing my classmates present and share their stories with everyone in class, I also try my best do let go of my fear. 

        透過老師不斷問問題，加上我說出自己在創作上一直以來的瓶頸，我覺得好像找到前進的路。

     In trying to answer the teacher's questions and voicing the problem I have detected in creating stories, somehow I feel I have found a really good direction. 

        因為我老是在故事裡包含太多意涵，所以最後主題沒說清楚，又把故事弄得很抽象。老師說我可以從圖畫起，把抽象的文本具像化，再把圖串連起來。

     Since I've always wanted to include too much in my stories, I fail to express the themes successfully. Also, they are too abstract for children to understand. My teacher said that I can try starting from drawing pictures because that way I can give concrete images to abstract ideas. Then a story can be developed by connecting the images I have. 

        即使故事這次寫不好，我也不在意從頭再來。只要我可以學著把故事說好，一切都好說。

     Even if the drafts are a failure, I don't mind begin anew. As long as I can learn to tell a good story, every effort is worth it. 

Good friend / 好朋友

上週的繪本課裡，當老師不斷問大家有否要分享的作品，我遲遲拿不出來，心裡勇敢和懦弱不斷交戰著，最後我安靜若無其事地走回位置上。

In the picture-book class last week, the teacher kept asking if we had any work to share with one another. Even so, my cowardice held me back, finally blowing away the last whiff of courage I had. In the end, I walked back to my seat quietly without saying or showing anything. 

        那天的課堂上，遇見認識好多年的Ada，下課之前她對我說不要害怕，她的鼓勵推了我一把，果然，老師和同學給了我許多回饋，之後我的生活看似相同，但其實一切都不一樣了。

     That day in class I happened to run into Ada, a friend I'd met years ago. Before leaving, she told me not to be afraid. Her words of encouragement made me take a huge leap. As she had predicted, I got so much helpful feedback after showing the work to the teacher and classmates. After that day, though my life appears to be the same on the outside, it has, in fact, become very different. 

Moving / 搬家

去年參加佳怡的喪禮之後，從主持人身上得到了靈感，想要好好地重寫阿嬤的故事。這次還請了同事如慧家的小亮和小佑來合作畫插圖，雖然實際準備的時間不長，但因為是一直在腦海中的故事，所以寫起來很順暢。

Last year I was inspired by something said by the host of Chai-y's funeral, which prompted me to rewrite my granny's story. Because of the story's narrative, I even invited the sons of my colleague Emily, Liang and Yo, to illustrate the story together with me. I didn't spend much time making the book since it had been a story that I wanted to tell all these years. 

        這是我第一次和別人合作做繪本，剛開始並不確定自己的想法是否有辦法成真，對於不能讓小亮自由發揮想法，我覺得很過意不去，但因為如慧的決心和堅持，慢慢地我們找到了合作的方法。，以前都是自己一個人埋頭苦幹，有了伙伴之後，我得到意想不到的力量，例如說，如果我進度快，把當天的進展拍給小朋友看時，他們也會加緊腳步，這之間我們互相鼓勵，產生很美好的能量。

     This was a very special experience because it was my first time doing collaborative work. In the beginning, I wasn't sure if the plan was feasible. I hesitated at first for I felt a great sense of guilt in not being able to let Liang exert his creativity. However, thanks to Emily's determination and persistence, we gradually found ways to collaborate. In the process, I gained much strength from my partners, and this was what I couldn't imagine when I worked all by myself. For example, we would share what we had done with each other on a regular basis. Our mutual encouragement made me feel that I could go on and finish the project with ease. 

        孩子們在過程中同樣的稿必須畫很多次，我非常感謝他們的耐心，而能看到這本書的讀者，翻開的時候都感到很驚喜。

     Liang and Yo had to redraw the same pictures several times before the final version. My thanks to them are really beyond description. The design and arrangement of the images also surprise readers when they open the book. 

        雖然今年我沒有入圍信誼的繪本獎，儘管之前有些沮喪，不過因為常常失敗，對於輸贏想得很開了，同時也趕緊自我檢討，我想應該是我的故事要從小朋友的觀點來說，必須把死亡的議題更具像化，不過我也能更寬闊地想，寫故事要回到開心做的初衷，然後不要忘記問問小讀者的意見。

     Though I wasn't even shortlisted this year in the picture book award of the picture book competition held by Hsin-y Publisher, I bounced back soon after taking my time to get over the frustration. I guess  constant failures have turned me into a very powerful person. Fortunately, friends gave me great feedback regarding how to revise the story. The best advice is that I should try to tell the story from a child's perspective and give concrete imagery especially when it comes to a difficult issue like death. Meanwhile, I remind myself that I should write out of joy and constantly consult my young readers. 

        這個星期終於拿到印出來的書，只印了三本，我想我之後一定又會把這個故事做華麗大變身，到時候這個故事各時期的樣貌排在一起來看時，就會很驚人！ 

     This week I finally got the printed version of the book, and there are only three copies in the world. I will definitely transform the story into another one when I feel ready. Then, the books I have written along the way will be amazing when they are juxtaposed together! 

long and beautiful journey / 又漫長又美好

今年的信誼幼兒文學獎改在信誼的好好生活廣場舉辦，不過不管在哪裡舉辦，我都會去參加！

My yearly goal is to participate in the picture-book contest held by Hsin-y publisher and go to the award ceremony wherever the venue is. This time I decided to write only instead of making a book. My work "Sunny and Rain" is shortlisted. 

        今年的文字創作獎沒有嘉作也沒有首獎，現在的我已經學到輸贏不是最重要的事，寫一個好故事才是我的目標。這個故事的靈感來自於我去北歐的旅行，回來時我的傘上還留著北歐的雨，因此很想幫雨寫一個故事，剛好很符合今年台灣的天氣呢！

     Unfortunately, there is no winner in the category of story-writing. However, my failures last year taught me that creating a good story is much more important than winning. The inspiration for my story comes from my trip to North Europe last summer. It surprised me quite a bit to see the raindrops remaining on my umbrella when I opened it after returning to Taiwan. Thus, I was motivated to write a story for the rain. The story comes in handy in the rainy spring here! 

        寫作就是人生的反映，總是會有起起伏伏，今年寫的故事或許特別吸引人，但也許明年的故事就沒有那麼傑出，這都是很正常的。

     Writing or making picture books is a reflection of human life in that there are always ups and downs. Maybe your story is particularly amazing this year, but it doesn't guarantee that next year you'll come up with an equally wonderful one. And we all have to bear that in mind instead of taking the outcome of the contest too seriously. 

        好一陣子沒有上兒童文學的課程了，再度來到這樣的場合，不禁又激動了起來，心中對於做繪本的熱情又熊熊地燒了起來，放眼望去是一年又一年都來的熟悉面孔，大家都很努力地朝著同一個目標前進，雖然不是一蹴可及，可是想到原來自己在意的事對很多創作者也同樣重要，信念就更堅定了。

     I haven't gone to any workshop on children literature for a while. Being on such an occasion once again, the fire in me is rekindled again. Every year I get to see many familiar faces of creators who go all out for the same goal. Though the road to success is paved with challenges and frustrations, my faith is strengthened upon being reminded that the goal that I consider so essential also matters so much to many picture-book makers. 

        今年的繪本佳作得主葉曼玲小姐，作品內容靈感源自於女兒在公園裡撿的花葉種子。

     This is the runner-up Ms. Yeh for the category of picture books. Her story is inspired by her daughters picking leaves and seeds in the park. 

        今年的特別獎得主是蕭湄羲小姐，十二年前就得過大獎，她說這中間沒有創作的時候就觀察和思考，我特別喜歡這句話。

     This is the winner of the special award Ms. Hsiao. She won the award twelve years ago. During the interim when she didn't create, she spent time observing and thinking. These words really impress me. 

        從缺多年的首獎今年終於找到得主，是很有名氣的郭乃文和周見信先生，靈感來自曾經飼養的小狗。

     The winners of the best picture book this year go to the famous pair Mr. Guo and Mr. Chou. Their story is inspired by their pet dog. 

        主辦單位也特別頒發終身成就獎給藝術家趙國宗老師，同時也有他的畫展。

     The host also gives the lifetime achievement award to the renowned artist Mr. Zhou. His exhibition is also held at the same time. 

        最令人感動的則是林良老師，每年都見到他，每周在國語日報上都讀到他的文章，真是完全奉獻給兒童文學的人生，我也要那麼充滿熱情才行！

     What moves me most is seeing Mr. Lin again. Though he is in his 90s, he is still dedicated to writing for children. I definitely want to be as hard-working as he is! 

        今天的晚餐則是在螢火蟲相伴的和美山，一邊喝著蜂蜜啤酒，接下來再重新開始吧！

     To top the afternoon off, we spend my evening in the company of fireflies and a can of honey beer in the suburban hill. Well, you know what? I am going to start all anew again! 

Company of a cup of tea / 一杯茶的陪伴

去年在寫繪本上跌了很多跤，上了一些課和講座之後，秋天時決定先練習寫作。每個週日我會坐在書房一整天，就是在那時愛上喝茶，總有一杯茶伴著我，玩各式各樣的文字遊戲，出了書房有身邊的友人和小朋友也都來幫忙，這個過程很充實美好，我可以看到自己的極限，並且從別人的回饋突破瓶頸，因為如此，我其實很感謝去年的轉折。

Last year I experienced several failures in writing picture books. After attending some talks and workshops, I made a big decision of focusing on writing first. Every Sunday I would sit in the study for a whole day reading and writing. It was then that I fell in love with drinking tea. On my desk there was always a cup of tea keeping me company. Outside the study, the adults and kids would read and listen to the stories for me. The process was really fun and enjoyable. I got to see my limits and learned from others' feedback. To be honest, I appreciate whatever happened though everything was a blessing in disguise. 

        這週一去演講，我和老師們說：我很喜歡做繪本這件事，雖然目前我還做得不是很好，我會用一輩子來做好這件事。當下有個好可愛的老師說：不要再說了，我快哭了。我都沒想到這些話這麼感人。

     This past Monday I gave a talk in a school on making picture books. I said, "I really love making picture books. Though I am not very good now, I will spend the rest of my life on it." Upon hearing this, a sentimental teacher suddenly replied, "Don't say anything anymore. I feel like crying." I found her response amusing for I hadn't expected my words to be so moving. 

        去年底寄了五個故事參加信誼的文字比賽，這週收到通知，雖然只有一個故事入圍，不過還是很高興，我想我的努力方向應該是沒有問題的，而我也比之前更積極，現在我更想知道的是如何修改故事，也期待能很快地得到答案。

     I sent five stories to Hsin-y's picture book contest at the end of last year. Though this week I learned that only one story is shortlisted, I am still quite happy that I am working in the right direction. Compared with the past, I am also more active now. Instead of dwelling on the success and failure, I am eager to find out how I can revise my stories. 

        雖然今年有許多計劃在進行，這一週是一顆逗號，讓我可以停下來喝一杯茶，往前往後看看，再昂首闊步前進！

     I have so many projects going on this year, but it's nice to have a cup of tea this weekend so that I can look behind and ahead before moving on! 

Ritual / 儀式

每年都要把畫夾拿出來，用珍惜的心擦拭上面的灰塵，在整理的過程裡，總是會看到自己的努力，也感謝寫繪本這件事一直沒有離開我，把它們放進櫃子裡時，我知道我又可以充滿勇氣地重新出發！

This week I've performed the yearly ritual of sorting through my portfolios. I wipe away the dust on the covers with care; meanwhile, I am reminded of the effort I've always been making. I can't help feeling thankful that the calling of making picture books has never abandoned me. And when I put my past works into the closet again, I know, I can set out on a brand-new journey with my heart full of courage! 

Beauty of failure / 失敗的美好

今天傍晚去把落選的畫稿接回家，心情有一點受影響，不過去了健身房一趟之後，決定明天重新開始。

This evening I went to pick up my story and illustrations "Not Alone" for the Sanmin picture book contest. Though it took me only an evening to get over my frustration a few weeks ago, I knew I was going down today. Luckily, after working out in the gym, I am so determined to begin again tomorrow. 

        夏天寫了兩個故事，故事本身都不夠好，所以都失敗了，不過今年學到最大的課題就是：失敗也是一件很美好的事，因為它讓我變得更謙卑，並且開始享受尋找方法的過程，更重要的是，失敗讓我更強壯，也毫不遲疑地重新修改寫過的故事。

     I wrote two stories this past summer, but I failed all because my stories are not good enough. However, I learned an important lesson this year, that is, failure itself is a very wonderful experience. It makes me more humble. Also, I've seen so much as I am looking for ways out. Most of all, I've become stronger. I've got down to revising one of the stories without hesitation.

        未來的某一天，我一定也會懷念這一刻的自己。

     In the future, I'll be bound to miss how I am at this instant...

Wrong bus / 搭錯車

昨天本來要帶大女孩們去貓空踏春，結果傻傻地搭錯車，就一路直達了信義區，於是我們決定更改地點去松煙。

Yesterday we planned to go on an outing to Maokong, a hilly scenic spot in the south of Taipei. However, I made the silly mistake of taking the wrong bus, which took us into Xinyi District. Not to waste more time, I consented to the girls' proposal to change the destination to Songshan Cultural Park. 

        雖然自己有些失望，不過在大城市裡也有好看的，偶然走進誠品音樂館，找到了幾乎免費的黑膠唱片，倫敦的回憶湧上心頭，之前為了做黑膠唱片的包裝設計，弄得人仰馬翻的日子，現在想起來卻無限珍貴。縱使我沒有唱盤，但因為太多留戀的理由，我便下手買了兩張。

     Being a fanatic fan of nature, I was disappointed by myself, but fortunately, there is much worth seeing in the big city. I accidentally walked into the Eslite CD store and found some nearly free vinyls, which so reminded me of the days in London. Those days when we were all screwed up because of the group project of designing vinyl covers now turn out to be precious as I look back. Though I don't have a turntable, I just couldn't stop myself from purchasing two vinyls. 

        這週把準備了三個月的故事草稿唸給男孩們聽，想不到反應異常糟糕，這是我第一次看到他們皺著眉頭直說不懂。以前的我會生個幾天悶氣再捲土重來，結果我當天晚上馬上想到新的靈感，趁著週間改寫，今天再念新的故事給男孩們聽，哥哥一臉驚奇地說：「居然不一樣了呢！」孩子要的不多，只希望我們用他們的語言說故事，這麼想，我就是三個月走錯了方向，都要回頭。

     This week I read the story I had prepared for three months to the boys. Their reaction turned out to be really awful. This was the first time I saw them frowning when listening to a story. I would have sulked for a few days before pulling myself together in the past, but I was blessed with a new inspiration the same evening. God bestowed drive and determination on me so that I rewrote the story during the week. Today when I read the new story to them again, Von exclaimed: Wow, the story is told in a very different way! Kids don't ask much. They only want us to tell stories with their language. Thus for me, it's very too late to revise. 

        也許我目前無法聽到黑膠唱片裡的音樂，可是我對於裡面的內容會一直抱著好奇的心，就像我對於自己的努力有一天會帶領我到的地方，同樣好奇。正因為如此，搭錯車也不是壞事。

     I have no way to find out what the music inside the vinyl is, but that doesn't lessen my curiosity. Likewise, I am also very curious about where my effort will lead me eventually. Yet thanks to that, I never think it a bad thing to take the wrong bus.

Could it be that way? / 可不可以？

因為在準備新作品，主題是關於對生病、死亡和寂寞的恐懼，所以把男孩叫來聽故事，也聊聊他們之前對阿嬤過世的感覺。我老是和楷維說阿嬤就在我們身邊，某一天我們吃點心吃得正開心時，他突然冒出一句：阿祖就在我們旁邊對吧！

As I am preparing my new book about the fear of illness, death and loneliness, I tell the boys the story and talk about Granny's death with them. Since I always say to Kai, "Granny is by our side," one day he surprises me with the remark: Great granny is next to us right? 

        可是過幾天他又對我說：可不可以他真的在我們身邊，我也看得到的那樣？

     But a few days later he says to me, "Could she really be there, I mean, physically visible?" 

Miss Moon 2 / 思思與月亮 2

拖了三個月，我終於送印有名字的書檔，雖然只是小小的五個字，卻有非凡的意義。書印出來和老闆詢問印刷的問題，他說其實很多數位印刷的問題是大量印刷可以避免的，我說：再給我一點時間，有一天我一定有機會的。

I put off sending to print the book version with my name on it for three months. Though they are only five small words, they make a whole world's difference. When I pick the books, I inquire about some printing problems with the printing shop technician. He says many problems of digital printing can be avoided in traditional printing. I said, "OK, give me some time. I'll get the opportunity to have my work printed in huge numbers."

        我也在自己的書櫃裡了，想著我的書對其他世界級的繪本說：初次見面你好！

   I find myself in my bookshelf, imagining my book saying to other world-class books: Nice to meet you! 

        不知道有沒有機會和全世界說這本書的故事，是八歲的小方睡不著的故事，他在睡前總想著各種擔心，甚至擔憂以後會不會結婚，有自己的孩子，雖然我自己都還沒實現同樣的願望，我卻可以堅定地和他說，一定沒有問題的！朋友在試讀的時候紛紛說這是他們最喜歡的圖，我想其中有我無限的想望和祝福吧！

   I don't know if I'll get a chance to tell the world about the book. It's a story about the eight-year-old Von, who can't fall asleep. He tosses and turns at night because of all sorts of worries. He even worries if he'll get married and have his own children in the future. Though I am still single with no children, I have the firm faith that he will. When my friends read the book, they find the picture their favorite. I bet it's because they can feel my longings and best wishes too! 

相關故事 / related post entries: 

小方的生日禮物 / Von's eight-year-old birthday gift

楷維的監督 / Kai was a strict supervisor 

終於把書送出去了 /  I finally sent the book to the competition