Northeast coast / 東北角

謝謝江老師幫我修畫。

Thanks to Jim for revising my painting

Christmas / 聖誕節

寫申請學校文件時，最後要寫拿到學位之後對自己的期許，例如說希望進哪一家公司服務，剛好之前聽到某位同好說，能夠進橙果工作簡直就是夢想中的夢想，對於我來說寫作不是問題，但這部份卻難倒我，因為我最大的喜悅很渺小，就是為我喜歡的人畫畫寫故事，這樣的答案只會被批評為沒有野心、不實際，這種能落實在日常生活中的目標卻不能寫進去，我覺得很可惜。

While I was preparing my personal statement in the process of applying for schools, I was required to write about my goal after graduation such as working in a certain company I’d always dreamed of. I happened to hear an acquaintance mention her wish of entering the new-brand design company DEM Inc here. For me, writing didn’t pose any problem, but this part did baffle me. My biggest dream is very humble. It is just about writing and illustrating stories for people I love. However, this answer would only be criticized as ambitionless and impractical. I found it a pity that I couldn’t write such a goal which I could actually carry out in my everyday life.

看似是最簡單卻又最難的，我決定把這個心願付諸實現，在我和班上同學的最後一個聖誕節裡。每個人得到一句鼓勵的話語，搭配我最近研發的阿茲提克皇后娃娃圖像，我畫了兩套六十多張的卡片，把自己變成大家未來的回憶。

Thus, I decided to put into practice the seemingly easy but difficult plan. On my last Christmas with my current students, everyone would get a card featuring my latest invention—Aztec Queen Baby along with an inspirational quote on the back. I drew two sets of cards, 66 in total with no exactly identical pictures because I wanted to leave pieces of me for them as a form of memories.

因為太喜歡我的善班，我在這個月初決定把之前展覽過的畫送給班上同學，聖誕節的前一天，我們開了一場完全無金錢交易的拍賣會，每個要競標的小朋友只要說出自己為甚麼想要得到某幅畫，並且能夠在畢業之前回贈一幅畫，其他的就留給籤筒決定，除了競標場面瀕臨失控之外，我沒有想到好幾個人因為得不到畫情緒幾乎崩潰，還有好些人看起來很沮喪，讓我也心情低落了一會，本來只是要把我的過去做個整理，卻發現那些片段被孩子們很珍貴地對待，我是所有人裡收穫最大的。

I love my own class so much that I came up with the decision to give away my past exhibited paintings. On Christmas Eve, we held an auction without monetary trades. Everyone keen on a certain work had to say why she had to get it and give me her drawing before graduation. The rest would be decided by the lot they drew. The whole class went almost wild nearing the end, with some people on the verge of breaking down. I felt kind of bad for not having enough works for everybody. I had meant nothing but to say goodbye to my past, but I was surprised to learn that those moments were so treated with care by the girls. I was the person that gained the most through the experience.

不知道以後會怎麼樣，但是生活的每一天，我看到了更多更多畫畫的理由，這是我發亮的聖誕節禮物。

I don’t know how my future will turn out, but every day in my life, I see more and more reasons for drawing, and they are my glittering Christmas gifts.

Lines / 線條

通常我們從人的外形或言語辨識出他的改變，但是在幾個月內要看出微妙的不同畢竟不是那麼顯而易見，此時線條就派上用場。

Usually we rely on a person’s changes of appearance or language to discern his or her differences. However, changes over a short period of time are too subtle to detect. At this time, lines can serve a similar function.

好久沒當保母，難得小方不想和爸媽出去小晃一下，我們留在家用色鉛筆塗塗抹抹，因為數個月沒和他一起畫畫，我驚覺他拿筆的方式變穩了，對於空間的掌握也比之前進步，上了三個多月的美術課，成果全顯現在調色，整個人感覺有信心許多。我看著他色彩繽紛的區塊很羨慕地說：你這塊畫得真好，我要學你，他也回答：你畫得很棒，你用過的色筆給我，我要試試看。接著他問了一連串雙色混和的可能性，我們就這麼吵吵鬧鬧地玩了好一會。

I haven’t babysat for a long while, and since Von doesn’t feel like going out with his parents, we stay at home to doodle. Not having drawn with him for several months, I am kind of shocked to find that he holds a pen much better than before. Also, he has acquired a stronger sense of space. After taking the art lesson for more than three months, his progress is demonstrated in the ways he mixes colors. Overall, he appears to be more confident. I look at his colorful parts, saying with envy, “This is well done. I want to do the same.” He replies, “You do a great job too. Leave me the pencils you just used. I would like to take a try.” Then he asks a series of questions about the results of mixing different sets of colors, from which we derive a lot of fun in making crazy guesses and acting really silly.

最近我對於機械式練習很有興趣，不論是字體造型或各種圖案，我看到了都忍不住在札記本上塗鴉，於是我發現，今天的線條和昨天的力道不一樣，更不要說是幾個月之後的改變，等到別人察覺時，我已經在離出發點很遠的地方，再加上感受到小方的成長，我不禁覺得自己更要向前走。

Lately I’ve been interested in mechanical exercise, either in typography or visual patterns. I can’t help scribbling in my sketchbook when I see something I find worth imitating. Through the everyday practice, I thus realize that my lines today differ from those of yesterday, not to mention the change in a few months. When others are aware of it, I will be a world far from where I am. Now Von’s growth pushes me to move forward as well.

儘管我們一直獲得，卻也一直失去，知道小方很喜歡倫敦和雙層巴士，我邀請他到時候來找我，幾個月前的他會說，請媽咪帶我去，現在的他寫實地回答：我不會講英文，我有點啼笑皆非地說，我會啊！還好，圖畫完之後，我問他要不要帶回家，他用一貫地體貼說：留給你，因為你會想我。生活裡每天每天像過往雲煙地消逝，但是我想要永遠記住這句話和他此刻的線條。

Though we are constantly gaining something, we are losing something else in the meanwhile. Knowing that Von takes a particular fancy to London and double-deckers, I invite him to come visit me when I make it there. He would have said, “I’ll ask Mommy to take me,” a few months ago. Now he weighs the reality before answering, “I can’t speak English.” I am rather amused, wondering how come it didn’t occur to him that I can. Fortunately, after we finish the picture, I ask him if he’d like to take it home. He says with his typical thoughtfulness, “I want you to keep it because when you miss me, you can look at it.” Every day in life evaporates at the speed of light, but I want to remember Von’s words and lines at this moment, forever.

Office-scape / 辦公室風景

這個學期終於有閒回去上江老師的美術課，我一直都不是很懂光影理論，所以剛開始聽老師分析亮面和暗面之間的關係有些霧煞煞，上了好幾個月，雖然沒甚麼作品，但是我用我的色塊畫法好像開始有點瞭解老師要傳達的重點。

This semester I’ve finally made it back to Jim’s art class. I have never been an analytical person, so it is rather mind-boggling when Jim mentions the correlations between light and dark facets. I can only use my own formula of color blocks to create similar effects. After having taken the watercolor class for a few months, I think I’m gradually getting the hang of it.

現在我一方面覺得自己應該多學點技巧，另一方面則希望有一天我光用一種技法就可以創造出令人驚艷的畫面，因為對我來說最高境界不是琳瑯滿目，而是簡單有力。

Now I expect myself to acquire more skills, but on the other hand, my ultimate goal is to use one single medium to create pictures of quality. For me, a good work is not one made with various media. Instead, I prefer simple strokes that successfully convey power and feeling.

臨摹完老師的莫內花園，再加上他的幾筆修飾，灰濛濛的辦公室多了綠意，在下著冰雨的冬日從冷空氣裡走進室內，也有種濃郁的自然氣息，當我暫時離開，一定會想念鐵櫃上的拉拉雜雜。

Jim added some sophisticated touches to my Giverny Garden after I was done. The gray office suddenly lights up because of its existence. Even when I walk into the cluttered space from the cold exterior on a freezing winter day with icy rain, I can smell the fragrance of nature in my mind’s eye. When I take my temporary leave from work, I am sure I’ll miss the trivial but soothing image.

The Door / 入門

圖攝於巴塞隆納聖家堂‧2009 / photo taken at Sagrada Familia, Barcelona, 2009


面試過了快一個星期，我也萎靡了一個星期，從心理和生理的疲勞恢復，這幾天我看到了很多蛛絲馬跡，終於在下個星期開始之前，我可以夠面對自己了。

It has been almost a week since my interview, and I have lived like a zombie for almost a week, trying to recover from the mental and physical fatigue. I detected many small signs during the past few days. I think I can finally pull myself together before a new week comes my way.

聽起來的結果好像很令人沮喪，其實不然。面試的老師說，我的作品就技術方面而言太太太簡單，我需要有印刷、字體各種基本課程的訓練，所以與其讓我讀碩士課程，他開了個基礎課程給我，不像碩士訓練有部分重心放在理論，最後還要寫論文，基礎課程重視實作，還有和業界合作的機會，用客觀的角度來看，這個決定很適合我，因為我想追求的不是寫論文，能夠學習自己創作無法接觸到的領域才是最重要的，但是和我原來的期望不太一樣，我花了點時間撫慰我脆弱的自尊心。

So far, the outcome must sound very gruesome. In fact, it’s not in all senses. The interviewer said in terms of techniques, my drawings are too too too simple. (But since when has my name become my Achille’s heels?) I need to receive solid training in printing, typography and so on. Instead of letting me go into the MA program, she prescribed the Foundation degree for me, which is more like a vocational qualification in the U.K. Seriously speaking, I didn’t know that MA students are required to write a thesis as a requisite for the degree until one week before the interview, and obviously, that is not what I am after. The Foundation degree offers courses which I, as an amateur, should take. There are also opportunities to work with the industry. This should be a tailored decision for me were it not for my fragile self-esteem.

兩天前上水彩課時，本來我只是像顆植物被動地坐在那裡，剛好同學把我前幾週的作品拿出來讓老師改，同學A用一種讚嘆的口氣說，「你的線條比你的人大膽很多」，本來是想回答，我本人的確有點孬，接著同學B又說，「你的風格很明顯」，我自知水彩是我的弱項，居然同學還看得出來某種個人風格，這些評論很明顯地和當天面試的老師說：你的線條還在掙扎當中，形成強烈的對比，我明白很多事都是相對的，對於沒有經驗的人來說，我的線條很有信心，但對於業界的人而言，我的線條是懦弱的，我突然看開了。

Two days ago in watercolor class, I sat there like a vegetable. My classmate happened to take out my painting from earlier weeks for Jim to revise. Classmate A exclaimed, “Your lines are so much more confident than your physical appearance.” I wanted to retort, “Indeed, I can be such a wimp sometimes.” Then classmate B went on to say, “You have a very distinctive personal style.” Watercolor painting is my weakest, and still, I was amazed that some sort of personal style could be distinguished. Their remarks formed a complete contrast with the interviewer’s sharp comment, “Your lines are still struggling.” It dawned on me that many things in the world are just relative. For viewers with less experience, my lines are bold. However, for the professionals who work in the industry, my lines are not clearly formed yet.

雖然我沒有強烈的意願試試看其他學校，但我的確想過這件事，最後我還是想接受目前的決定，不是因為我對自己沒有信念，而是我想很踏實虛心地學習。以前讀書的過程裡，我一直是被強烈的優越感支撐著，現在我沒有了，也不需要，我只是想藉這個機會踏入這個領域一探究竟，至於在2010年裡剩下的幾個星期，我想用創作在我和別人的生活裡留下一點痕跡。

Despite my lack of will to try other schools, I did give it a thought. In the end, I chose to accept the offer. Not because I have no faith in myself but because I think it’s time for me to learn everything I don’t know with humility. Speaking of my past student life, I used to be supported by a very strong sense of superiority. Now I don’t have that anymore, and I don’t need it. All I am looking for is a door through which I can take a look at the field. As for the remaining weeks before 2010 ends, I want to make some difference in my and others’ lives with my drawings.

之所以想要有改變，是因為我強烈地覺得自己的人生大概定形了，所以聽到我的線條還在掙扎，我應該要偷笑吧！如果上帝暫時沒有要給我其他的挑戰，那麼，倫敦，我們十個月後見吧！

I’ve had the longing to change because at this age, I know my life will be more or less the same, even in the coming 20 years. I should feel greatly pleased that I have something that is struggling instead of having taken shape in every aspect. If God doesn’t have other challenges for me temporarily, then, London, I shall see you in ten months’ time.

後記：謝謝諸多這幾週友人的鼓勵和祝福！

PS: I want to thank all of you for your faith in me and your encouragement!

Serene Little Corner / 寧靜的小角落

本來我想進入十二月再開始申請學校的流程，但是在留學展意外發現提前面試的機會，於是我得在幾天之間把資料備齊，再加上面試的老師強調相關科系的經驗，代辦顧問希望我能夠多讀點書，用知識和口才為自己博取優勢，於是圖書館有關插畫的書籍幾乎都被我掃光了，我這幾天過著抱著書睡覺的生活，不過因為讀的是很好玩的內容，所以有一種很幸福的感覺，就像全世界沒甚麼人在乎我做的事情，但是我卻因為它而開心。

I planned to start my application to graduate school from December, but I accidentally discovered an accidental opportunity for an interview, which will take place in less than a week. That means I’ll have to come up with all the documents required in a few days. Besides, the interviewer seems to place MUCH emphasis on the applicants’ professional art background, so the counselor hopes that I can brush up on what I read before to gain an edge for myself with knowledge and eloquence. Thus, I have checked out almost all the books related to illustration from the library. These days I’ve rocked myself to sleep surrounded by books, but the content is so interesting that I feel extremely blissful. Though not many people care about what I am doing, I am happy all the same in my serene corner.

小雪說，幹嘛那麼老了還要辛苦唸書，可是我的人生裡沒有比這更確定想做的事了，讀到可愛的昆汀布雷克原來大學也是主修英文，後來才又讀插畫，我就更明白自己不是唯一這麼選擇的人。

Sharen said that I shouldn’t pave such a difficult road for myself, but I am surer of nothing else in my life. Especially when I learn that the British master Quentin Blake also majored in English in university, and that he didn’t take up illustration until he stopped being a student, I am even more certain of my own choice. Well, now I know I am not the loner.

Telephone jungle / 電話叢林

每當我打電話給小方，阿楷也不甘示弱，雖然能說的只有幾個字，而且大部分時候是安靜的，他總是緊抓著話筒不放，於是爸爸媽媽就必須出面把小隻的帶走，有時候都要說再見了，小楷又再度復出，兄弟兩人就這樣來來去去滿場跑，讓我感覺這一通電話還真是無盡呢！

Whenever I call up Von, Kai is eager to make his presence felt. Despite his limited vocabulary and reigning silence, he holds tightly onto the phone. Then Mom and Dad will have to distract his attention, thus taking him away from the war zone. Sometimes when I am about to bid farewell, Kai makes his comeback. The two brothers play and talk alternatively, which makes me wonder if the phone call will ever end.

為了讓兩個人不吵架，我畫了一張電話叢林，拾手盡是話筒，這對於很計較有沒有人打電話給他的小方應該是個福音吧！

To bring everlasting peace for the two boys, I drew a telephone jungle in which there are telephones everywhere. This should please Von a lot since one of his major anticipations in the daily life is talking to aunts on the phone.

to age elegantly / 優雅地老去

去了歐洲教育展打聽目前名單裡的學校，剛開始有點不熟悉展場裡的氣氛，我身邊盡是青春洋溢的大學生，雖然我一副運動裝扮，心裡對於自己多人家十幾歲這件事無法不在意。

I went to the U.K. study fair with the intention of collecting more information about schools I would like to apply for. In the beginning I was kind of daunted by the young bobbing heads of college kids. Despite my purposeful sporty looks, I was so aware of the age gap between me and them.

從第一間學校開始，我便不斷地聽到類似的話語：如果你之前不是藝術主修，就要靠作品集博得青睞，因為大部分的學生都還是有藝術背景。這樣的說法還真是不公平，我是帶著筆記去的，如果學校在網上提供充足的資料，我也都說得出來課程內容和教授的作品風格，不過我倒是不放在心上，那多出來的十幾歲還是有用的。

Most school representatives made similar remarks about my qualifications: You need a strong portfolio since you were not an art major. Most students in our programs still have art backgrounds. I hope my case will certainly be an exception. I went with notes about every school. I had no problem pinpointing the features of each school’s courses and the styles of more famous professors. Fortunately, I viewed their words more as a friendly suggestion which would give me an edge when preparing the application forms. There is still something useful about being older.

回家的路上我一邊想，和我同年齡的人都在哪裡，為什麼我還要冒險，而當我走進童裝店幫家裡的小朋友買衣服，店員問我有幾個小孩，我說我沒有小孩，答案是那麼明顯，如果最後都要老去，我想用我的方式記錄人生，雖然沿路還是會有些緊張和害怕，我不想要後悔沒嚐試過的選擇。

On my way home I couldn’t help wondering where people of my age are. I asked myself why I still need to take an adventure. When I walked into a children’s clothing store, the clerk asked me how many children I had. I said I didn’t have any. The answer was so obvious. If we all have to age in the end, I want to record life in my own manner. There will of course be moments of fear and panic along the way, but I don’t want to obsess about the would-have-beens later on.

他們有青春，而我有熊熊的火焰。

They have got youth, while I’ve got flaming fire.

Sunbathing / 泡太陽

這幾天太陽亮得很，可是我們家青春的小魚被囚禁在課堂和書本裡，看著眼前的河流不能盡情游水，顯得很沒勁。

This week the sun has shone especially hard, but my youthful little fish are trapped in piles of books and the sad gloomy classroom. It is an indescribable drag to face the temptation of the crystal-clear flowing water without having the courage to take a plunge for a wild swim.

我說，去曬曬太陽吧！因為人生的苦悶多半持續著，所以把握稍縱即逝的陽光特別有必要。

I say, go for a sunbath. After all, while the dull moments in life span decades, seizing the ephemeral pleasure like cheerful sunshine is definitely a must when it comes to avoiding depression.

攝於京都三千院‧2008夏 / photos taken at Sanzen-in Temple in Kyoto, summer 2008

Je veux voir / 我想看

和小蕙去看凱瑟琳丹妮芙於2008年拍的記錄片「我想看」，她在貝魯特參加影展之際表達想去黎巴嫩南方看一看的心願，於是導演安排她和黎巴嫩的男演員拉比目如埃同車，由拉比充當凱瑟琳的導遊，沿途映入眼簾的是貝魯特的斷垣殘壁和被戰火襲擊的小鎮，凱瑟琳和拉比甚至誤闖地雷遍佈的危險區，而這些片段都是未經安排的真實情節。

I went to see Cathérine Deneuve’s film I Want to See produced in 2008 with Huei. On her visit to Beirut for a gala event, she asked her hosts to organize a trip to South Lebanon for her. The director put her together in the same car with one of Lebanon’s famous actors Rabih Mroueh, who served as her driver and tour guide. The documentary presents the ruins in Beirut and Rabih’s native village. The two even accidentally drive into a dangerous zone scattered with landmines on their ride in the south. These scenes truthfully reflect the situations in Lebanon without any pre-arrangement.

片子到了接近尾聲時，拉比和凱瑟琳經過海邊，所有被戰爭摧毀的建築物被運到這裡，廢墟瓦礫被怪手擊碎，再一併到入海中。拉比說，他不得不幻想，海中其實有個巨大的城市，我想這個城市可怕的地方在於，人類遮掩了自己的野心和慾望，表面上好像是看不見了，但只是被藏起來。

At the end of the film, Rabih and Cathérine pass by the seaside, where all the rubble and debris, traces of the wars, are broken into small pieces first and then dumped. Rabih says that he can’t help imagining a gigantic city lying underneath the sea surface. I think the terror of this city lies in that mankind puts away their ambition and desire somewhere out of sight. They might be invisible, but that doesn’t mean they do not exist.

每個人的心裡也都有個被隱藏在海中的巨大城市，需要勇氣才有辦法正視。

In each of us might lie a monstrously huge city, and it takes courage to look it in the eye.


Seek my shadow / 找自己的陰影

91

她在綿綿陰雨裡遇見他，他穿著整齊坐在便利商店前，反覆訴說自己91歲了，兒子開賓士車，他即將被送到養老院，他說那裡的生活也不會比較好，對於不良於行這件事，他感到無奈和無助。他的思緒在過去和現在之間來來回回，在已經說過的話和想說的話之間來來回回。他說想要吃點甜的，她去買了白木耳湯送給他，他要帶回家，用某種小心翼翼的儀式好好地享用陌生人的善意。

而那之後，她再也沒有遇見他。


She ran into him in drizzling rain. He was neatly clad, sitting alone in front of a convenience store. He repeated his age, which was 91. His son drove a Mercedes-Benz. He was about to be sent to a nursing home, but he didn’t believe his life there would be any better. He felt hopeless and helpless about his not being able to walk. His thoughts traveled between the past and the present, between what he had said and what he wanted to say. He had cravings for something sweet. She bought a bowl of sweet soup for him. He would like to take it home and savor every bite of good will from a stranger with a certain kind of ritual.

Since then, she has never seen him again…

ring bearers / 小花童

My Tiffany

小方從這個秋天開始去蘇荷美術教室上課，每周用不同媒材創作，我常常會問他當週做了甚麼，這是第一次我親眼看到他的作品，本來以為他只是借我看看，想不到這是要送我的禮物，很簡單但很貴重、來自一個四歲小男生的真誠。

Von has started to take art lessons in Soho Art. He is taught to create with different media every week. I often ask him about the classes, but this is the first time I get to see his artwork in person. I am even more surprised to learn that he means more than lending it to me for a glimpse. It is meant as a gift for me, a simple yet precious one from a sincere four-year-old boy.

Cravings / 渴望

昨天看了倫敦藝術大學的簡介影片，節尾是位先生說，創作都是出自於渴望渴望渴望，這幾個字因此深烙在我的腦海裡，我最近也是滿心渴求，有些能夠立刻得到滿足，有些卻只是想望，於是我決定把我的各種渴望轉換成圖像和小遊戲，希望把它們全部都說出來，自然又是全新的開始。

Yesterday when I watched the introduction of the London University of Arts, I was impressed by a sir saying that he created out of cravings cravings and cravings at the end of the video clip. I thus can’t get the words out of my mind. This probably has something to do with my recent fit of cravings, some of which can be immediately satisfied while the others are nothing more than wishful thinking. I decide to turn all my cravings into an image and a little game. I hope I can start all over again after saying them out loud.

如果你也嫌得發慌，請在下面的三個人當中選一，看看你是不是也和我一樣；下列的數字同樣挑出你喜歡的，看看你有甚麼潛在的需求。

If you are bored, please choose a person in the following picture to see if you have the same dilemma as me. Also, select a number that pleases you to see if you have any subconscious longing.

1. 想要吃掉整個香蕉蛋糕

1. craving to eat up a whole banana cake



2. 想要見到一個很久沒見的朋友

2. craving to see a friend whom you haven’t met for eons



3. 想到陽光普照的南法度假

3. craving to take a vacation to sunny southern France



4. 想要感受抱著一個一歲小朋友的溫暖

4. craving to hug a one-year-old baby and feel its warmth



5. 想要明天睡到自然醒

5. craving to sleep in tomorrow



6. 想要不告而別，躲到沒有熟人的世界

6. craving to leave without saying goodbye and hide in a world where no one knows you



7. 想要聞到義大利高級皮革

7. craving to smell high-class Italian leather



8. 想要參加一場婚禮

8. craving to be in a wedding



9. 想要毫無限制地購物

9. craving to go on a shopping spree



10. 想要在六星級的山泉旅館泡溫泉

10. craving to take a hot-spring bath in a six-star resort hotel



11. 想要來一頓艾美酒店的主廚特選早餐

11. craving to have a classic chef breakfast in Le Méridien



12. 想要對某人說我愛你

12. craving to say “I love you” to someone



13. 想要某家小餐廳的白牆上胡亂畫

13. craving to doodle on the white wall of a small restaurant



14. 想要在下雨的傍晚去公園淋雨散步

14. craving to take a walk in the rain on a rainy evening



15. 想要在高鐵的車廂裡大聲唱詹姆斯布朗的「你是如此美麗」

15. craving to sing James Blunt’s “You are so beautiful” in High Speed Rail



16. 想要點一把火把所有的考卷燒掉

16. craving to burn all the test papers with a torch of fire



17. 想要搭一趟三天三夜的航班

17. craving to take a three-day-and-three-night-long flight



18. 想要把頭髮染成七彩

18. craving to dye the hair colors of the rainbow



19. 想聽陽光的聲音

19. craving to hear the sunshine



20. 想住在美術館一晚

20. craving to spend one night in an art museum



21. 想在晚上湖中乘船聊天

21. craving to cruise around and have a relaxing chat on a small boat in the evening



22. 想在芭答雅的海灘上喝辣海鮮湯

22. craving to eat Thai seafood soup on the beach of Pattaya



23. 想一個人在家安靜一天

23. craving to spend a day alone at home



24. 想大聲說，我相信我的人生有無限可能

24. craving to say out loud that I believe that there are infinite possibilities in my life



25. 想要不在意白頭髮

25. craving not to care about hair graying



26. 想要突破瓶頸

26. craving to smash the artist’s block



27. 想畫一張讓自己都驚艷的圖

27. craving to draw a picture that amazes even myself



28. 想在海邊的夕陽下聽你彈吉他

28. craving to hear your guitar music in the company of the sea and the sunset



29. 想把最可愛的科基狗Shorty抱在懷裡

29. craving to hold Shorty, the cutest Corgi ever, like a cushion in my arms



30. 想到亞馬遜河流域探險

30. craving to go on an adventure in the Amazonian rainforests



31. 想把腦裡的細胞撕成碎片再重新組合

31. craving to take apart all the cells in my brain and piece them together



32. 想坐在里斯本的小咖啡館裡發呆

32. craving to sit and do nothing in a small café in Lisbon



至於船上的三個人：

As for the three people on the boat:



A. 你已經等不及實現你的渴望了。

A. You can’t wait to realize your cravings.



B. 你的內心因渴望而騷動，但你還在觀望。

B. You stir inside because of your cravings, but you are still hesitating.



C. 你要不是耳根清靜，就是沒有聽到內心的聲音。

C. Either you have a super-zen state of mind, or you do not listen to your inner voice.






the art of babysitting / 當保姆的藝術

周六的早晨有些懶散，與其禁止兩兄弟胡亂玩，我拿起相機記錄他們探索客廳的過程，因為眼光從保姆變成旁觀的攝影師，居然還覺得他們作亂的行為挺有創意，等到一切像世界大戰過後的慘狀，我們再來比賽誰清理得快。

I am kind of laidback on a Saturday morning. Instead of prohibiting the two brothers from doing this and that, I take up the camera to record their exploration of the living room objects. I thus become an objective photographer rather than a nanny. From my new perspective, I find them to be rather creative. When the living room becomes a total mess, we’ll compete to see who can win the title of the best cleaner.

 
  

 
 

 
 

 

Little Wing / 小翅膀

這首由Caterina推薦的歌很適合滴滴答答的下雨天，哪也去不了時，就幻想夏卡爾般的畫面、配上慵懶的旋律，在屋子裡的日子也變得愜意悠閒。

This song, recommended by my pal Caterina, is perfect for rainy days. When the rain traps me in the apartment, at least there is still a Chagall-style image to swim in. Along with the relaxing guitar melody, time spent confined to the house can be pleasant in its own way.


小翅膀

吉米罕醉克斯



她漫步雲端

滿腦子都是馬戲團的狂想

成天乘風飛行時只想著

蝴蝶、斑馬、月光和童話故事



我悲傷時，她來到我面前

免費送我一千個微笑

她說：沒關係沒關係

你要甚麼就從我身上拿走



她帶著小翅膀飛翔

小翅膀啊



Little Wing

by Jimmy Hendrix



Well she’s walking through the clouds

With a circus mind that's running wild

Butterflies and zebras and moonbeams and fairy tales

That's all she ever thinks about

Riding with the wind.



When I’m sad, she comes to me

With a thousand smiles, she gives to me free

Its alright she says its alright

Take anything you want from me, anything

Anything.



Fly on little wing,

Yeah yeah, yeah, little wing



Getting married / 結婚

傑哥終於要結婚了，儘管我們是個內斂的家庭，還是掩不住激動的喜悅，我和竣弟甚至已經開始幻想當乾爸乾媽的日子。

My brother Jei is finally getting married. Though we are a reserved family, we still can’t help showing our overflowing joy. Jun and I have even started to imagine being godfather and godmother to Jei’s future kids.

媽媽在電話上問未來的弟妹：妳確定了嗎？對於這個人的習性妳都瞭解，還是願意嗎？她搶了神父的台詞，但卻更有份量，因為那代表我們對她的全心接受和喜愛。

Mom asked my future sister-in-law on the phone: Are you sure of the decision? Having thoroughly known this person’s strengths and weaknesses, are you willing to go down the road of life with him? She stole the priest’s lines, but they were far weightier coming from my mom. The questions symbolize our heartfelt sincerity and love for her.

出席年底紐約的公證婚禮對我來說是個不可能的夢想，所以在這裡先獻上無窮的祝福：我親愛的弟弟，祝你幸福！

It’s an impossible dream for me to attend the notarized marriage ceremony at the end of the year in New York, so here are my early best wishes: My dear Jei, happy marriage!

England in the lane / 巷口的英國

這個星期去剪頭髮，卻像是在黃昏天色轉暗時去了一趟英國。位在巷口的髮廊，藏身在舊公寓的二樓，裡面裝潢得像迷你的精品旅館，設計師是年輕的花美男，因為我摘下眼鏡之後甚麼也看不見，只記得設計師細細長長的手指輕柔地揮著銀色的剪刀，還有他低頭垂下來的棕黃色瀏海；外頭的馬路上車輛不斷飛過，車燈形成延續的模糊的色塊；不過最棒的經驗則是髮廊裡的完美音響反覆播放著James Blunt的歌聲，應該是他的滄桑讓我有置身英倫的感覺，特別是1973這首歌，不僅帶我去了英國，還讓我回想到從前的日子。


I took a trip to the hair salon this week, but it was much more than that. It felt like I was transported to the UK at darkening dusk. The salon, located on the second floor in an old apartment in the lane, is decorated in the style of a boutique hotel. My new designer is a beautiful-looking young man. Since I am practically blind after taking off my glasses, all I remember is his long and slender fingers softly wielding silver scissors and the brownish-yellow bangs that flow when he lowers his head. Cars on the roads outside race by unceasingly, their headlights forming never-ending ribbons of colorful splotches. However, the soul of this experience actually lies in the auditory luxury—the perfect stereo playing out James Blunt’s emotion-stirring voice in the tiny yet enchanting space. It’s the ruggedness in his singing that gives a fantastic touch of British feel, especially the song 1973. The melody and lyrics not only take me to Britain but also remind me of past wild days.

1973

詹姆斯布朗



西蒙娜

妳漸漸地蒼老了

妳的旅程

都刻在皮膚上



1973

by James Blunt



Simona

You're getting older

Your journey's been

Etched on your skin



西蒙娜

但願我當時知道

之前看起來如此強烈的一切

現在都消失無蹤影



Simona

Wish I had known that

What seemed so strong

has been and gone



當時我總在星期六晚上打電話給妳

我們會在外頭待到天都亮了

然後我們唱：我們又來了

儘管時間流逝

我會一直在

1973年的某間酒吧等妳

唱著：我們又來了



I would call you up every Saturday night

And we both stayed out 'til the morning light

And we sang, "Here we go again"

And though time goes by

I will always be

In a club with you

In 1973

Singing "Here we go again"



西蒙娜

但願我現在是清醒的

我才能看清楚

雨已經停了



Simona

Wish I was sober

So I could see clearly now

The rain has gone



西蒙娜

我想一切都結束了

我的記憶播送著我們的歌

同一條老舊的歌曲



Simona

I guess it's over

My memory plays our tune

The same old song



當時我總在星期六晚上打電話給妳

我們會在外頭待到天都亮了

然後我們唱：我們又來了

儘管時間流逝

我會一直在

1973年的某間酒吧等妳

唱著：我們又來了



I would call you up every Saturday night

And we both stayed out 'til the morning light

And we sang, "Here we go again"

And though time goes by

I will always be

In a club with you

In 1973

Singing "Here we go again"

Where is the moon? / 月亮在哪裡?

我派了四顆柚子把台北的秋天送到地球的另一端，因為它們遲遲沒有回音，我在等待之際寫了個故事，把我最愛的月亮也變成主角了。


I sent four pomelos as the cultural ambassador of Taiwanese autumn to the other end of the world. When I didn’t hear from them long after their departure, I wrote the following story while waiting. Better yet, I made my favorite moon one of the protagonists too.

Be my Cookie Knight / 餅乾騎士

我每天都要有畫面可以想像，當我很集中注意力於工作時，畫面就會消失。某一天當我快陷入苦悶之際，Pam偷偷放了一包Walkers的義大利檸檬白巧克力餅在我桌上，吃完之後畫面也來了，謝謝Pam當我的餅乾騎士！

I need to fantasize about different images every day. However, the pictures are nowhere to be found when I concentrate on work. One day when I was about to sink into the swamp of boredom, Pam secretly left a pack of Walkers’ Italian lemon and white chocolate biscuits on my desk. After I savored the lovely dessert, a new and funny image descended, which pleased me more than anything else. Thanks to Pam for being my Cookie Knight!

Going to the library / 上圖書館

上個周末去圖書館時，發現身邊的大叔大嬸弟弟妹妹都穿得很居家，我對這個現象有非常樂觀的解釋：大家把閱讀當作日常生活的一部分，所以穿著也要自在，讀起書來才能更愉快。

Last weekend I had a lovely discovery when I went to the library: I found many library-goers clad in home wear and slippers. I can’t help interpreting this phenomenon from a very optimistic angle. Reading must be viewed as part of the daily life, and when we read, we should be feel comfy in what we wear. After all, not most of us will agree that reading while dressed in gowns or suits is enjoyable.

我不禁想到上海人愛穿睡衣出門，他們也穿睡衣上圖書館嗎？

I can’t help thinking that inhabitants of Shanghai love to go out in pajamas. Do they also go to libraries in sleepwear?