When I went traveling eight years ago, Grandpa passed away. Since then, I have had a very comprehensive understanding of the unpredictability of life. This time before leaving, I go to say goodbye to Granny. I chat with her in my very poor Taiwanese. When she can't understand me, she will look at me with a puzzling but tender smile. John and Sharen sit by us, eyes glued to the TV like two big and carefree babies. After Mei-li finishes cooking dinner, she joins our conversation. We have a very calm yet joyful typhoon night.
分離讓人用新的眼光看一樣的生活，阿媽有一大瓶冬瓜滷，放在陽台上，女兒們回來拜訪時，她拖著小小瘦瘦的身軀，慢慢地走到外頭，墊著腳像個孩子，手伸進大罐子裡撈啊撈的，我看她找得費力，便戴上塑膠套幫她，冬瓜滷軟軟的，摸起來的觸感很奇妙。平常總是搶著幫我做東做西的小雪，對阿媽也有一種完全依賴的撒嬌，任著老媽媽服務，可愛。
Having to part endows me with new insight into the same life. Granny has a huge bottle of white gourd pickles. When her daughters come home for a visit, she'll drag her small and skinny body to move to the balcony. She stands on her toes, her hands fish for the pickles painstakingly. I offer to take over the plastic gloves and give her a hand. The pickles are soft like jelly. With my hand groping in the brown juice, it feels quite funny. Mom, who always fights to do this and that for me, is totally at ease with Granny's service. Adorable...
阿媽七十多歲之前還出國旅行，現在連到台北都感到疲累。有一次從法國回來後，她問我那裡的房子長得什麼樣，那時我才明白阿媽是很國際化的，就連我們看介紹杜拜的旅遊節目，她也直問那是哪裡，結果居然沒人能用台語說出中東，小雪打了馬虎眼說就是外國啦。不知道阿媽每次坐在陽台的板凳上，在傘下都看到了什麼風景。
Granny still traveled abroad before her seventies. Now she can't even afford a short trip to Taipei. Once after I returned from France, she asked me what the buildings there looked like. It didn't dawn on me that Granny is actually very international until then. Even when we are watching a travel program introducing Dubai, she keeps asking where that is. It turns out that nobody knows how to say the Middle East in Taiwanese. Even Sharen, whose mother tongue is the dialect, can only think of a lame answer such as "Oh, it's just a foreign country..." I wonder what Granny sees when she sits on the stool under the indigo umbrella on the balcony.
我希望阿媽看到的不只是和我們分手的畫面，或者只是對面的學校，她總說因為沒有讀書，所以這一輩子沒辦法工作，我心裡接下去的台詞是，因此沒法有自己的人生。我過得則是太自己的人生，所以我要學著抓住身邊重要的人。
I hope Granny sees more than our parting scenes, or just the school right across from the apartment. She always murmurs that because she didn't receive any education, she couldn't work. I go on saying to myself silently, thus you can't have a life of your own. I, on the other hand, have always been living my life, so my lesson is about seizing important people around me.
看完電視，小雪說我們可以準備回家了，我逗她說，你怎麼沒和媽媽說幾句話就要走，以後我去拜訪你也看看電視就好，她不好意思地笑，連阿長也湊一腳揶揄她。我們說不出好聽的話，倒是常這樣玩鬧。
After watching a lot of TV, Sharen rises, ready to go home. I tease her, "You haven't even said anything to your mom! In the future when I go visit you, I'll do nothing and sit there watching TV." She smiles feeling embarrassed like a child. John can't help making fun of her as well. We don't profess in sweet talk, but we often tease one another in that way.
明知道阿媽不喜歡拍照，臨走前我還是畏畏縮縮拿出相機，想徵求她同意拍一張照，旁邊的人居然嚷嚷，你就直拍了吧！阿媽碎碎念說自己不好看，但事實上她笑起來真迷人。
I know Granny doesn't like to take pictures, but I still take out my camera with hesitation before leaving. I ask her if I can take a photo with her. John, Sharen and Mei-li keep yelling for me to go ahead. Granny mumbles that she is not good-looking, but she is very beautiful especially when she miles.
阿媽說：「下個星期要去英國了嗎？」我答道：「對，我會想你，想你的時候會看你的照片，你要保重。」
Granny asks, "Are you going to the UK next week?" I reply, "Yes, I will miss you. When I miss you, I will look at your photo. Promise me to take good care of yourself."
其實阿媽坐在陽台上，抬頭望天空就看得到我的天空了。
In fact, if Granny raises her head when relaxing on the balcony, she'll see my sky...
後記：昨天發現陳綺貞有一首歌叫「下個星期去英國」，簡直就是為我量身訂做的。
PS: Yesterday I found a song titled "I'll Go to the UK Next Week" by Chen Chi-jen. I have the feeling that it is tailor-made for me.
7 comments:
看完這篇眼淚都要掉出來了:')
哭了也沒關係。
看別人故事時情感總下得特別濃,自己的都想裝成像白開水一樣,希望這只是青春期才有的毛病
我這二舅媽照相很好看的，連眼睛都會笑。
一路順風啊，別忘了抽空寫些東西上來，
讓我們知道妳在那過的很好。
I wish I had a chance to do the same things to my grandpa, but I've still got grandma, I'm trying my best to visit her as many times I can. Every time she asks when I will go see her, I wish I could fly to her just in a second. You have a lovely family;)
Darrent: 阿媽看起來就是很溫煦的人！謝謝你的祝福，我會把經驗和大家分享的！
Winnie: I do. That's why I have to hold tight onto my beloved family.
離別前每分每秒、每個動作好像都充滿了感情，好美。... 好像應該要這樣子來度過生命中的每一刻！
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