People We Love / 我們愛的人

這一兩個星期進教室之前，總會看到這張令我心一振的海報，因為暗暗覺得那就是我啊，卻沒有人來和我說，我的肖像被借用去當教師節的慶祝活動了。

These two weeks, before I go into the classroom, I never miss this poster which gives my heart a lift. I secretly believe it’s me, but no one told me about my image being borrowed for the celebration of Teacher’s Day.

今天心血來潮一問之下，發現是子榕的作品，而且果然主角就是我，本來就覺得這個作品很有fu，現在就更喜歡它，想到每天上班都可以看到自己，這是很大的鼓勵呢！而且我很高興我的側影旁沒有附上「師恩如高山流水」這一類的祝詞。

It occurred to me to look into the matter today. So it turned out to be Zi-Rong’s work and it’s me in the picture! It caught my eye in the beginning, and now I only get to like it much better. What’s more encouraging than seeing myself when I go to work every day? Besides, I am glad that next to my silhouette there is no cliché like “Teachers are as great as God…”

坐電車回家時，讀到Jodi Picoult寫的一句話，我們愛的人每天都會帶給我們不同的驚喜，好像再怎麼認識，都還是有期待之外的未知，每天每天都有不意擦出的小火花，我真是喜歡我的工作！

When I was reading on my way home, I came across some words in Jodi Picoult’s book. She said, people we love surprise us every day. No matter how well we know them, there are always sparkles and fire beyond our expectations. That explains why I like my job so much!

Miss You

就說，我的生日派對依舊持續著。我要感謝美燕和身邊的友人，這些人有著最美麗的靈魂。

Like I said, my birthday party goes on. Heartfelt thanks to Meiyen and those around me, who have the most beautiful souls.

我很久不用英文名字了，也很不喜歡別人直接叫我全名，所以每次和學生自我介紹時，會說，如果真的得叫我，就稱呼我Miss You吧！感覺這是個到六十歲仍然會很潮的名字。

I haven’t used any English name for ages. And I dislike people calling me by my full name. Therefore, whenever it’s time to introduce myself to new students, I’d say, call me Miss You. This feels like a trendy name that’ll still sound so when I sail into my sixties.

我們常說人如其名，名字真的會影響一個人的性格嗎？我想是吧，就算我們完全不自知，但是好像在無形中，我們的人格就朝著名字的意義發展。所以無論如何，我們都要試著喜歡自己的名字。

We often say, we are what our names indicate. Do names really influence one’s personalities? I think so. Even without our awareness, we develop into the kind of people our names want us to be. So we have to like our names anyway.

Miss You是個很容易引起誤會的稱呼，因為我在信尾簽上Miss You的時候，別人會勿以為我很想念他們，不過假如因此讓大家開心了一下，我倒不是很在意。最近這幾個禮拜，我覺得我的命運真的是被Miss You主導，走在校園裡，上一年教的女孩紛紛說：我很想你！或者畢業很多年的大女生透過友人傳達同樣的訊息，讓我原本冬眠的虛榮心燃燒了起來。

Miss You is a term that easily causes misunderstanding. When I sign Miss You at the end of a letter, people will read it as a message that I miss them. Well, if this makes their day, I don’t mind at all. Over the past few weeks, I have the feeling that my life has been crammed with Miss You. When I walk on the campus, the girls I taught last year would shout from a long way off, “I miss you!” Or those who graduated many years ago would convey the same message indirectly. Oh, how these words make my dormant vanity burn again…

想念可以很大，也可以小小的，我喜歡小小的想念，當你對我說，你想念我每天早上走進教室的第一句話，我的語氣裡充滿陽光地說：Good morning everyone。我覺得很意外，是因為這樣簡單的原因被惦記著。

We can be missed because of many many things, or maybe it’s just a tiny detail. I like the latter. When you say to me, I miss the first words you said when you stepped into the classroom every morning. I miss how you said, “Good morning everyone!” with sunshine in your tone. I am surprised that I am remembered due to such a simple reason.

雖然我知道自己很快就會被遺忘了，可是沒有關係，在那之前，你已經溫暖我的心房。

I know, I will be forgotten soon, but it won’t matter. Before that happens, you have warmed my heart.

star carrier / 載星星的人

靈感來自於小方 / inspired by Von

déjà vu / 似曾相識

隆達，西班牙 / Ronda, Spain

貓空，台北 / Maokong, Taipei

我收集似曾相識的時光。

I am a collector of déjà vu moments.

One Percent / 百分之一

照片攝於從瓦倫西亞前往格瑞納達的途中

photos taken on the way from Valencia to Granada

八月在計畫這學期英文專題課時，赫然發現請了外師的那天是我的生日，這是我給自己最大的禮物，畢竟我也常希望可以閉嘴，聽聽別人的聲音。

When I was planning the syllabus for this semester’s special courses for the gifted class back in August, it occurred to me that I had invited a foreign lecturer on my birthday. I think this is the biggest gift I have prepared for myself, by accident. After all, I often wish I could shut up and listen to others.

所以今天我一派輕鬆，不像平常，從早上就要開始準備，我本來想，我只要坐在教室後面兩個小時，快樂地過完另一個工作天。不過人生真的是處處有驚喜，要下課前夕，有一組同學的劇本主題是愛情，結果講師Igor很激動地說：華人最會隱藏自己的感情了，那不是害羞，是恐懼！我們對人示愛，百分之九十九會受挫，那又怎樣？如果能碰到百分之一，一切都值得！因為他又說，我很老了，但是我很快樂，請相信我說的真理。小朋友們懂不懂，我不清楚，但我點頭如搗蒜。

So today I was really at ease, unlike other weeks when I always have to start the preparation from the morning time. I thought all I had to do was sit in the back of the classroom and then draw a period to another happy work day. But life is just full of surprises. Right before the end of the class, one group of kids came up with the theme of love for their play. Then the lecturer Igor couldn’t help sharing his points of view with us: Chinese people are good at hiding their feelings! That is not being shy. It’s fear that stands in the way. When we bare our hearts to others, chances are that we might be turned down, and in 99% of the cases, it’s true. But if we run into that 1% of people, it’s all worth the effort. He kept saying, trust me because I’ve lived a long life and I am a happy man. I don’t know how the kids felt, but I nodded my head like crazy.

送Igor出去搭車的時候，我對他說，我總是打開心的那個人，不過都遭到拒絕了，他轉過來對我說，他們一定錯過許多，我沒有傷心或難過地說，我知道。

When I walked Igor to the bus station, I said to him, I am always the one that opens my heart, but I am constantly turned down. He just turned and looked at me, saying, “They have lost a lot.” I replied calmly without feeling sad or upset, “I know.”

除了之前收的無數的禮物，今天學生送了我George Benson的Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love for You，我剛好收到Jamie從芝加哥的來信，弟弟把Stacey Kent的專輯用美麗的黃絲帶包起來放在我桌上，傍晚爸爸要帶我去買新的慢跑鞋，我以為我生日禮物都收完了，卻來了這麼一個大禮物。我一定常常聽起來很像個快樂地很沒有深度的傻蛋，但那不是我不懂悲傷，我只是覺得它得用在值得的地方，我也有創傷，但那又怎樣呢？總有要痊癒的一天吧！所以我還是要相信，有一天我會找到真愛，有一天我會得波隆納，因為在相信和不相信之間，我還有甚麼選擇呢？

Apart from tons of gifts I had received before today, students sang to me today George Benson’s Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love for You, which is my favorite at this moment. I found Jamie’s letter from Chicago in the mailbox. Jun put Stacey Kent’s CD tied with a yellow ribbon on my desk. Dad is taking me to buy a pair of new running shoes this evening. Just when I thought I had got all the gifts, a BIG one dropped from the sky. I must sound like a shallow happy fool all the time, but that’s not because I don’t understand sorrow. I just believe it has to be used in the right places. I have trauma from the past, but so what? The wounds have to heal sooner or later. Therefore, I still want to believe that one day I will find true love and that I will become one of the selected illustrators in the Bologna Book Fair because between the choices of believing and not believing, you know the one I’d go for.

watermelon birthday cake and my dream old-age looks / 西瓜生日蛋糕和我的夢幻老妝

汪達和小方繪 / painted by Wanda and Von

李薛吉繪 / drawn by Shaggy Lee

Expansion / 拓展

今年年初宇珍拿了一袋小紙條讓我抽今年的生活課題，我拿到了「拓展」，如今過了八個月，讓我想想我是否有朝這個方向前進。

Early this year Olivia made me draw a slip from her bag of fortune. I got “expansion.” Eight months have passed by, and let me think if the word does reflect my life direction.

為了迎接新學期的開始，我剪了頭髮，換了造型，並且發現自己不再是最年輕的教師之一，辦公室裡已經有我當年的學生和我同坐，除了這明明白白的事實，當新進的教師認真地討論教學活動和學生反應時，我卻興高采烈地和老鳥們說著我新購的配件和衣服，這樣應該也算是一種拓展的表現吧？不過認識我的人應該都知道我這輩子沒花甚麼時間為學生單字拼錯而苦惱。

To welcome the new semester, I had my hair cut for a brand-new style. I realized that I am no longer one of the youngest teachers. One of the incoming teachers was my student many years ago. Apart from this shocking fact, when new teachers were seriously discussing teaching activities and students’ feedback, I was busy chatting about my latest accessories and clothes with other old hands. This should be a good example of expansion? But those around me should know that I hardly worry about my students’ misspelled words all my life.

好吧，說點嚴肅的話題，雖然我好像沒甚麼前進，在各方面也沒有甚麼實質的收穫，可是我的視野似乎又那麼寬了一點，可以接受和欣賞的尺度又打開了些，例如說，我之前不是很懂華裔澳籍繪本家陳志勇充滿深度的作品，最近突然很著迷，他的書就變成我送給自己的生日禮物之一，這應該也是種成長吧！

Seriously, it seems that I have not moved forward much, and I can’t name any actual gain. But I seem to have broadened my horizons, able to accept more people, more possibilities. For example, I didn’t understand the profound and beautiful works of Shaun Tan, a Perth-based Australian artist, but lately I’ve been so obsessed with his images. So his book became one of the birthday gifts I bought for my birthday. This should be a kind of growth.

我的生日不是今天，是9月8日，但是我習慣在之前或之後放煙霧彈，所以我身邊的人也都自由自在，大家從八月底就開始隨意地選日期送給我祝福，感覺我過了至少半個月的生日派對，總之我打從心底謝謝你的好意。今天的畫紙就是遠從英國帶回來的生日禮物！

My birthday is not today. It’s the eighth of September, but I am used to posting pictures and words before or after. My friends, influenced by my carefree attitude, choose any date they prefer beginning from the end of August and send me greetings on their favorite days. It feels like I am having a long birthday party lasting at least 2 to 3 weeks. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. The paper I used for the picture today traveled all the way from Britain!

有人和我說，生日應該要為母親慶祝，所以最近我一直在謝謝媽媽，送給我渾然天成的自然捲，和開朗快樂的性格，這是我一生最寶貴的資產。

Someone told me, I should celebrate for my mom on my birthday, so I’ve been thanking her for giving me natural curls that never stop arousing people’s jealousy and very outgoing personalities, which are actually my most precious assets.

我希望我能夠趁今年結束之前，繼續拓展我的生活，卻不放棄總是伴隨我的堅持和毅力，就像圖裡的我，即使旅館光線不足，我就是趴到陽台前都要為小方畫明信片，我要一直愛著自己和照顧別人，為自己和家人朋友和學生寫故事，誠實地面對自己。

I hope I can keep expanding my life before this year ends without giving up my persistence and perseverance. Like me in the picture, because of the dim light in the hotel room, I decided to kneel in front of the balcony to draw postcards for Von. I want to love myself and others, draw stories for everyone, and be honest with me always.

如果你因為我的生日也快樂，那就是我的獲得了。祝你快樂！

If you are happy because of my birthday, that’ll be a lovely birthday gift for me!

Promise / 承諾

旅行回來之後，真的沒有時間停下腳步，重新咀嚼消化旅行的片段，但是我很明白我欠自己這麼一個承諾，雖然我們常常和自己說，都放在心裡了，不過隨著年歲增長，大部分的時候，那些看起來不重要但其實極重要的細節，面臨被遺忘的命運，假如我們有幸，或許在下次的機會可以重新學一遍，可是人生如此多變，與其預期這麼多，不如把握已經得到的。

After coming back from the trip to Europe, my schedules are so packed that I really don’t have time to digest and recreate the unforgettable images and moments on the journey. But I know well that I owe myself a promise. We often give the excuse that all the important lessons have been kept in mind. However, to be honest, as we age, we learn nothing except leaving those seemingly unimportant but in fact extremely important details in oblivion. If we are lucky, we might have another chance to learn them again. But life is so unpredictable. Instead of expecting so much, I’d rather seize what I have learned.

我是對自己負責任的人，也不想讓這趟美麗的旅行付諸流水，所以，薛吉和我在2010年的1月一整個月份，要在泰順街的「步調」咖啡館辦一場旅行的插畫展覽，如果你剛好在做年度計畫，請不要錯過到匈牙利和西班牙旅行的機會。

As you all know, I am a responsible person, and I don’t want to keep the memories of this beautiful trip all to myself. Therefore, Shaggy and I are going to hold a duo exhibit of illustrations in Pace Café on Tai-shun Street for a whole month in January, 2010. If you happen to be making your annual plan, don’t miss such a fabulous opportunity to travel to OUR Hungary and Spain.

我期待看到我自己的世界，也期待看到你！

I am so looking forward to seeing my own world as well as you!

Love Me! 愛我吧！

「愛我吧！」我們總是真切地渴望對某個人說這句話，卻忘了，在那之前，我們應該先對自己說這句話。

“Love me!” We always desperately desire to say this to someone out there while we forget that before it happens, we have to say it to ourselves first.

自從去年到朱銘美術館畫長廊的牆壁之後，身邊的友人紛紛承諾把目前或將來可能擁有的白牆提供給我作畫。今年因為工作過於辛勞，沒有參加朱銘長廊的徵選，不過「塞翁失馬焉知非福」這句話真不是說假的，大方的Nana力邀我為她的牆壁上一點圖案，而我很高興在暑假結束之前，我們一同完成了這個計畫。

Since my mural-painting project at Ju-ming Museum last summer, many friends and relatives have promised to offer their current or future white walls for me to paint. This year, due to my work, I didn’t participate in the mural contest. But people don’t say “a blessing in disguise” for nothing. My generous friend Nana invited me to color her walls. I am glad to have carried out the plan before summer break ends.

和Nana在一起的一天一夜裡，我們不只是畫畫，還談了很多關於現階段人生的困境和期待，在回家的路上還偶然看到了一整片天空的星星，我覺得自己像是參加了一場愉快的夏令營，也許我們現在過得不是別人最羨慕的生活，但是我們很清楚自己的好運氣，未來迎面而來的機會，我們會勇敢地抓住，即使會受傷。

During one day and one night I spent with Nana, we didn’t just paint. We pondered much on our dilemma and anticipation at this stage of life. We were even rewarded with a whole sky of stars on our way home. Our time together felt like a happy summer camp experience. Maybe we do not have the best life, but we are so aware of our good luck. We know that we won’t miss any chance coming along, even though we might get hurt and fall again.

謝謝Nana，當我一路走來的好朋友！

Thank you Nana, for being my lifelong good friend！

the temperature of a hug / 擁抱的溫度

我很怕分別的場面，其實我明白自己只要度過了分離的時間點，很快地就能夠向前進，只是在那一點，眼淚總是會不聽使喚地掉下來。所以不去機場，不是不在意，這對我來說是平靜但帶著祝福的選擇。

I am afraid of the moment of saying goodbye. Well as I know, as long as I make it through that moment, I will move on without any difficulty, still, at that moment, I can’t control my tears. So not going to the airport isn’t a synonym of indifference. Instead, it’s a way of bidding farewell in a peaceful way, with best wishes.

這個星期讀了Barrie Greiff的「人生的九個學分」，作者提到了擁抱的溫度，一個擁抱的溫度可以持續多久？我給了很多擁抱，不過我想最特別的就是荳荳的擁抱了，我們總是會抱得不能呼吸，那是充滿熱度和誠意的肢體動作，而且這已經是第二年我們用這樣的方式說再見，我不知道未來會如何，可是我們的擁抱裡說著，明年再來一次吧！

This week I read Legacy, the Giving of Life’s Greatest Treasures by Barrie Greiff. Dr. Grieff mentioned the temperature of a hug. How long can the warmth of a hug last? I have given many hugs, but the most unforgettable one goes to Miss Sprout’s. We always hold each other so tight that we can’t breathe. It’s a body gesture full of heat and sincerity. And this is the second year we say goodbye in this manner. I don’t know when we will get to see each other again in the future, but in our hug, we both pray hard, “Let’s do it again next year!”

對很多人來說，可能身體住的是一個地方，但心裡想的卻是另一處，有可以想望的地方，就像有可以思念的人，其實也是很幸福的事，身為被想念的地方和人，就更幸福了。

For many people, they live in a place physically, while their hearts long for another place. Isn’t it a beautiful thing to have a place to think about? As a place and someone being missed, it’s a blessing.

請把我們當作你的動力跑鞋，在很巨大的美國好好生活，活出夢想！

We are all in your sneakers. We’ll help you run in the vast United States to your dream!