on the way 2 / 夢想實現中 2

06/29/08

我絕對不是個喜歡站在高處的人，但是我更擔心自己無法如期完成壁畫，所以經過一夜的反覆思索，我決定不囉嗦，盡可能地爬到梯子上可以挑戰的極限。我想往後的周末，我都得帶著如此強烈的決心，因為面前似乎有著無數的挑戰。

I do not enjoy placing myself somewhere high, but I am even more afraid that I won't finish the painting on time. After a night of tossing and turning, I decided to climb to the highest ladder without any complaint. I believe that during the following weekends, I need that strong determination because there seem to be hills of challenges lying ahead.

我和梯子的相對高度。

I am only half as high as the ladders.

不過就算有再多的決心，雨又嘩啦啦下起來就沒轍了。這是我的超級助手薛吉！

My determination served nothing when the rain started again. This is my superb assistant Shaggy!

不如玩場Bingo，放鬆一下！

It didn't hurt to play Bingo and relax!

或者坐在亭子裡吃吃飯談談心，享受遠方的好風光。

Or we could eat and chat in the pavilion, enjoying the lovely scenery out there.

雨再不停，就到美術館裡晃晃，我們倆像住在館區裡很自在的遊民。

With the rain going on, we checked out the exhibitions. We were like two residents living inside the vast museum.

還在人家的留言本塗鴉了起來。

I couldn't help scribbling in the message book of the artist, Rosa Ruey.

順便等日落時分。

We might as well wait for the sunset.

晚上還可以等到遠處九份燈火 (左手邊的橘光)！

The night view is by all means enchanting. Even Chiufen (orange light on the left) far away is recognizable.

on the way / 夢想實現中

06/28/08

今年真的很幸運，得到了好幾個參與公共藝術的機會，而暑假到朱銘美術館畫藝術長廊就是重頭戲，出發之前我便預想，自己應該會有個熱血的夏天，但是事實比幻想的還要更熱情！

I have to say I am really lucky this year. I got some opportunities to be involved in public art. Painting part of the wall in the arts corridor in Juming Museum is creme de la creme. Before I headed for Jingshan, I pictured the passionate summer I would have there, but it only turned out to be more passionate than that in my imagination!

我得到的牆面大小是8公尺乘4點3公尺，高度幾乎是我的三倍了。上一屆的作品，再見了！

The size of my portion is 8 m x 4.3 m. It's almost three times my height. Adios, work of last year!

從來沒有過塗鴉的經驗，剛開始的時候很惶恐，還打翻一地的油漆，不過和一群熱情的青年一起工作，自然是相當地愉快！

Having no experience in graffiti, I was rather anxious and worried in the beginning. See, I even spilled a whole can of paints! But it was very pleasant to work with a group of energetic young people!

這幾個海灘男孩一來就讓人有種自己來到了金山海邊的錯覺，聽他們說話心情馬上就high了起來。

These boys, dressed as if they were on the beach, gave me the illusion that I was down there near the sea, rather than in the mountain. They brought tons of laughter and "colored" our long and hot afternoon.

在戶外創作，要學習很重要的一課─接受大自然的改變。當大家都把底色上得差不多時，便下起傾盆大雨，前一刻才上的漆嘩啦啦地流成小河。如果能客觀欣賞，其實還挺美麗的。

There is an important lesson about creating a piece of art outdoors--to accept the change of nature and live with it. When everyone was about to finish applying the base color, it started to pour. The paint that was still fresh flowed down along the wall, turned into a colorful stream. Judged from an objective viewpoint, it was rather beautiful.

躲雨的時候就得找點娛樂，平心靜氣地等待也是公共藝術創作的一部分。

It is necessary to look for fun when taking shelter from the rain. It is part of public art creation to be able to wait with calm...

大家很快地就打成一片，每次和別人交流或參加類似的活動，我就會告訴自己，一定要繼續畫畫，我從這些人身上得到很多激勵，也更喜歡自己正在做的事。

Everyone intermingled soon. Whenver I get a chance to interact with others or take part in similar activities, I will tell myself that I have to continue drawing. I've gained much from them and only get to like what I am doing more.

下過雨後，漆掉了一些。不過我不漏氣，又該上工囉！

After the rain, some of the paints fell off. I was not frustrated though. It was time to paint again!

the beauty of frustration / 挫折之美

we're all in the dance / 圈圈相連

the journey of ten pair of underpants / 十件小內褲的旅行

當爸爸媽媽也是一種旅行，生活裡原本很熟悉的例行公事，因為要陪伴新的小生命走過，反而從他們的眼睛裡看到很新鮮的視野。而且這一趟旅行會持續一輩子，接受的挑戰也會隨著時間難度逐漸攀高。

Being a parent is a form of traveling. The routines that we are so familiar with in daily lives turn out to be really fresh when seen from the eyes of a baby. Moreover, this journey is going to last for a whole life, and the difficulty level of challenges will rise vertically as time goes by.

最近大人們積極地和小方遊說穿小內褲的了不起，作為訓練大小便的前奏，因為每天和小方進行心理建設，我漸漸地覺得，穿小內褲這件事還頗值得驕傲的。如果沒有這個小天使，我有可能一輩子都沒想過小內褲的意義。

Lately the adults have told Von about the beauty of underpants as the prelude to potty training. Because I am there, trying to talk him into it every day, it gradually occurs to me that wearing underpants is something to be proud of. Without the little angel, I would never think of the significance of this routine.

因為小方，可能很多人都誤以為我是躲在後陽台的偷窺狂。不，我只是對這個小男生很瘋狂。

Because of Von, many people might mistake me for the peeping maniac hiding in the back balcony. Well, I just turn out to be very crazy about this little boy...

God says.../上帝說

到了這個年紀，我對許多事情都不再去尋尋覓覓答案了，因為答案未必存在，或者答案是傷人的，所以我淡然處之。不過往往在我已經遺忘或不期待之際，答案便從天上掉下來，這就是生命好玩的地方啊！

At my age, I have stopped looking for answers to many puzzles. After all, they do not necessarily exist, or they might hurt my feelings. I've learned to take life easy. However, right when I have left behind those old stories, not on the lookout for any surprise, the answers will fall from the sky. I think this is one of the most interesting parts about life...

一個答案出現後，清明的狀態也許只持續數天或數周，再來的是新的問題，然後我有可能在混沌裡打滾好一陣子，左思右想上帝的意旨，卻始終找不到出路。

After an answer emerges, the state of clairvoyance might last no longer than a few days or a few weeks. What follows is a new enigma. I might wallow for a long while in churning waters, guessing God's intent, only to end up nowhere.

所以，我不問了。就算我被包圍在重重的謎當中，我也不傷腦筋。我就享受那不明的曖昧，順著路一直前進，我想，有一天我終究會看穿上帝的心思。

So I've come to the conclusion--stop making any hypothesis. Even when enveloped in layers of enigmas, I don't rack my brains. I should enjoy the beauty of ambiguity along the way when I move ahead. I believe one day, I'll get to read God's mind...

me / 我

上個月我的小粉絲錢小妹出了個功課給我，他請我作一幅自畫像。這一個月以來，我不停想著自己究竟是怎麼個樣子，這個周末終於找到答案。

Last month my little fan Miss Chien gave me an assignment. She wanted me to do a self-portrait. I'd been thinking what I was like exactly, and I finally found the answer this weekend.

我就是這樣熱情如火，內心總有無限渴望和期待，同時又透明到不行。對我來說，外在的形體只是種偽裝，所以請不要被蒙蔽，我喜歡的是我那些亂七八糟卻爆發著生命力的情緒。

I am such a passionate being, packed with endless longing and expectation inside. Meanwhile, I am so transparent that it's not hard to see through me. I think of the appearance as a kind of disguise, so please don't be blindfolded. What I like about myself is the entangled yet vibrant emotion.

這個星期在尋找新方向時，受到很多人的啟發和影響，和奈良美智去了好幾趟旅行，也走入鄭明進老師豐富多元的世界，並且回顧了童書作家張又然先生的創作歷程。昨晚的某一點，突然發現自己被解放了‧‧‧

This week when I was searching for my new direction, I had been inspired by so many people. I took several trips with Yoshitomo Nara, walked into the enriched and colorful world of the renowned Taiwanese art educator, Mr. Cheng Ming-chin, and looked back on the illustration career of Mr. Chang Yo-ran. At one point last night, I felt liberated...

the dream is about to come true / 夢想就要實現

最近過度沉溺於一些情緒裡，今天一早起來，呼吸到不同於昨日的空氣，既然都已和過去面對面，該是前進的時候了。花了一整個下午把辦公桌和鐵櫃裡的雜物一一清出，我的腦子裡已經在計畫下個學期的內容。

I've been carried away by certain feelings recently. This morning when I woke up, I breathed fresh air, different from that yesterday. Well, since I've dealt with my past, it's really time to move on. I spent a whole afternoon getting rid of all the unnecessary stuff on the desk and in the locker. Meanwhile, I was planning the teaching materials for next semester.

但是在我前進的同時，我並沒有忘記你。我一邊收拾一邊閱讀著你的文字，不只是三禮，連兩年前的一義，都還是有那麼多人惦記著我，我已經忘了自己對你說過了甚麼，你卻都記在心上。上個星期離別之際，大家塞給我滿滿的禮物和祝福，我想和你說，我都收到了、放在心裡、也誠心地感謝你。

However, I do not forget you when I am about to move on. While I was cleaning the desk, I read your words, not only from the graduation class, but also from those I taught two years ago. So many of you put the memory of me in your hearts. I do not remember what I have told you, but you bear my words in mind. Last week before we said goodbye, I was showered with gifts and blessings. I want to say thank you to you, sincerely.

所以最後，我還有一個禮物要送給你，我把前兩個月在課堂上寫的夢想單，變成了一幅畫，今年夏天我和神秘小助手要把它畫在朱銘美術館的長廊，當你忘記方向時，請來看一看，你曾經許下的承諾。

Last but not least, I have another gift for you. I turned the dream sheet exercise in class two months ago into a painting. This coming summer, my mysterious assistant and I will paint it on the wall of a corridor in Ju-ming Art Museum. When you are at a loss, please come take a look at your promises...

或許我已經說過這句話，可是我還要再說一次，真的感謝和你相遇‧‧‧

Maybe I have said this, but I want to say it again, I am so glad to have met you...

a little sun / 小太陽

我是一顆小太陽，但是我也需要一顆太陽。

I am a little sun, but I need another little sun...

the boy that ate soup / 曾經喝湯的男孩

這個星期有好幾次想到諾拉瓊斯在「我的藍莓夜」裡說過的話，她說，每次從別人身上看到自己的樣子，就更加喜歡自己，你這兩天說的，有關我的樣子，讓我有些吃驚，雖然你從以前到現在，沒說過太多有關我的想法，但是我想你默默地觀察我、感受我的個性和心情起伏，然後你用很微妙的方式回應。 敏感如我，居然在九年後才明白，你甚麼都知道，你看似冷調，其實是溫柔的偽裝。

This week I have thought of what Nora Jones said in the film My Blueberry Nights for several times. She said, whenever she sees herself through other people's eyes, she gets to like herself more. What you said about me these two days kind of surprised me. Though you hardly made any comment about me, now I know you've always been observing me silently, feeling my personalities, ups and downs. Then you get back to me in very subtle ways. Sensitive as I am, I didn't realize everything until nine years later. You seem to be cold, which is actually the disguise of tenderness.

送你離開時，雖然是笑笑地說再見，轉身後眼淚就掉下來了，不過我的心情和從前大不相同。以前喜歡一個人，流眼淚是因為得不到，而今天的眼淚卻是慶祝過去幾天發生的一切，高興上帝在我快要不相信愛的時候，送給我的美好禮物。現在的我，不再因為喜歡而勉強自己或別人了，因為喜歡你，所以要祝福你過你想要的生活，找到真的喜歡的人。我也要專注在現在的這一刻。

I waved goodbye to you with smiles on my face, but when I turned back, tears started to well up in my eyes. However, what I feel this time is drastically different from in the past. When I was crazy about a person, I shed tears for not having him. The tears today are for celerating what has happened in the past few days. I am very glad that God gave me such a gift when I was about to give up on love. Now, I won't force myself or anyone despite my feeling. Because I like you, I want you to have the life you want and find the person you really like. I have to focus on the moment, here and now, too.

謝謝你讓我看見幸福的可能，即使不是和你‧‧‧

Thank you for showing me the possibilities of "happily in love," even if it's not with you...

喝湯的男孩 1
喝湯的男孩 2

the boy that eats soup
does the boy still eat soup?

giraffe / 長頸鹿

Le giraffe est grand.

Il cueille la lune pour la chatte.