I've got a girlfriend! / 我有女朋友！

楷維繪 / drawn by Kai

楷維去上學了！第一週還有點不適應，雖然哥哥的教室在他的正上方，不時去探訪他，楷維還是哭了好幾天，並且羨慕思維一星期有兩天半天。

Kai finally went to school! He was homesick during the first week. Though Von's classroom is right above his and Von visits Kai as often as he can, Kai still cried for several days. He also envied Von for having two half days off a week. 

楷維繪 / drawn by Kai 

        接下來雖然好了點，但是他居然說他很想念在家和乾阿嬤自學的日子，我們問每天上課的情形，聽起來不外乎是看書、吃點心、聽故事、散步，也沒什麼不好的。

   Though he gradually got used to school life, to our surprise, he missed those home-schooling days with my mom. We asked about his school days. Basically, it's reading, eating, listening to stories and taking walks, which sounds quite relaxing to me. 

楷維繪 / drawn by Kai 

        有一天早上要出門時，為了增強兄弟們上學的慾望，我隨口開了回家路上的任務，那一天的題目是：放學回家時我有多快樂？

   One morning on my way out, I gave them an after-school challenge to enhance their desire to go to school. The task that day is: How happy am I when school is over? 

        回到家時兩人都等不及地和我分享答案，哥哥說：像飛來飛去的戰鬥機那樣逍遙；弟弟說：像到外太空旅行。

   At the end of the day they couldn't wait to share their answers with me. Von said, "I'm as happy as a flying fighter jet." Kai's answer is: It's like traveling to outer space. 

楷維繪 / drawn by Kai

        上週末哥哥洩密說有女生喜歡楷維，我問阿楷他怎麼知道，「她有說方楷維我喜歡你嗎？」這傢伙想了一下才說：對，就像你說的那樣。

   Last weekend Von revealed that a girl has a crush on Kai. I asked, "How did you know? Did she tell you that?" He thought for a while, finally replying, "Yes, just like what you said." 

        過了幾天，楷維說：可是我喜歡的是XXX。「她也喜歡你嗎？」「對！」

   A few days later, Kai said, "But I like another girl." "Does she like you too?" "Yeah!" 

汪達繪 / drawn by Wanda

        又過了幾天，我下班回家，兄弟倆便衝出來宣布：楷維有女朋友了！而且他們還牽手！楷維一向是自在灑脫的人，他展現無比的開心，阿嬤問他女朋友漂不漂亮，他很愉悅地說：um hum！而且他又脫口說出至少五個女孩的名字，我說：什麼，他們也都喜歡你喔？他一點都不遲疑地點頭。

   A few days later again, the two boys rushed out to announce to me when I came in, "Kai has a girlfriend! They even held hands!" Kai is always very open with his feelings. He doesn't feel shy or embarrassed at all. His granny asked him if his girlfriend is beautiful. He answered in a Casanova style, "Um hum!" He also blurted out five girls' names, and I couldn't stop being surprised, "They all fall for you?" He just nodded without hesitation. 

汪達繪 / drawn by Wanda

        結果瑜媽媽又跑來爆料，不太和女生說話的哥哥聽到弟弟有手牽手的女朋友，感到很羨慕，楷維的吸引力連原本總是指使他的哥哥也受到影響，這個小男生到底有什麼本事啊？

   Then I was told by their mom that even Von, who hardly talks to girls, envies Kai so much for having a girl he likes and holds hands with. It's always Von that gives orders to and leads Kai, and now it's the other way round. What is Kai's charm? 

        那些上學不有趣的抱怨全被拋在腦後，我逗楷維：我也好想有可以牽手的男朋友喔！其實我更羨慕的是他的大方不遮掩，十年之後二十年之後也還會這樣嗎？

   He must have forgot all the complaints about school's being boring. I tease Kai, "Oh, I want a boyfriend with whom I can hold hands too!" In fact, I envy more his honesty. Will he still be so in another ten or twenty years? 

Accumulation / 多了什麼？

六年不見傑哥了，他和雅雯旋風式地回台兩週，又灑脫地回紐約。上次他們要離開的前一晚，我睡不著，後來想想應該是有些情緒，這一次我們送完機直接到附近的竹圍漁港看夕陽，我坐在漁港前速寫到眼前一片黑，當天晚上也安然地入睡，暗自慶幸隨著年歲增長，對於分別這件事我應該越來越在行了。

I hadn't seen my younger brother Jei for six years. He and his wife Claire flew away cooly after a short visit home for two weeks. Last time the night before he left, I had insomnia. Well, I always get quite sentimental at moments of saying goodbye. This time we headed for Zhu-wei Fisherman's Wharf right after seeing them off at the airport. I sketched the harbor at sunset until I couldn't see anything in front of me. I slept soundly the same night, which means I have learned to bid farewell as I age. 

        最近上課教到accumulation這個字，我問孩子們：年紀大之後，會多了些什麼？他們的回答很可愛，孩子會變多，皺紋會變多，白頭髮會變多，經驗會變多，智慧會變多，我卻想說：放下的東西會變多。

   We are learning the word "accumulation" this week. I ask the girls the question, "What accumulates as we get older?" They offer various answers like children, wrinkles, gray hair, experience and wisdom. My answer is, "The things and people we leave behind." 

        不過我的心不贊同我，這週不知怎麼搞的，夢到好多好久不見的人，只見過一次的人都入夢來。

   However, my heart doesn't agree with me. I have been dreaming of people I no longer see, even those whom I've seen only once in my entire life. 

        有時候我也討厭自己這麼內斂，什麼都塞到心底，卻自以為放下了。

   Sometimes I really dislike myself for being repressed. I stuff everything into a corner of my heart,  meanwhile believing that I have left them go.

My Little Sleeping Beauty / 我的小睡美人

外婆又住院了，我們一大群人去探望她，她卻張不開眼皮，看她很努力地要打開眼睛，但夢裡似乎有很迷人的世界，其實是外婆越來越虛弱了。為了叫醒外婆，媽媽在外婆還聽得見的耳邊問她孫子的名字，外婆看雖半夢半醒，其實神智還是清楚的。一邊美麗說著外婆失去的能力，病房的氣氛開始沈重，表姊們眼淚簌簌地滾了下來。

Granny is hospitalized again. When many of us visit her together, we can't wake her up. There seems to be a fascinating dream world out there. Well, to put it realistically, it's because Granny's health condition is worsening day after day. Mom shouts into her one ear that can still hear and gives her a quiz on who's who. Though she looks so sleepy, she still manages to get our names right. Meanwhile, Granny's maid Meili lists the abilities that Granny has lost over the past few days. The atmosphere in the ward is so gloomy that tears roll down my cousins' face like a downpour of rain. 

        不對，我們不是應該開心嗎？我的眼淚正要被傷心的情緒誘拐時，突然有個聲音對我這麼說，外婆已經九十歲了，身體器官當然會慢慢不管用，可是我們比起其他人幸運的是，外婆得了肝癌並不自知，上帝給了她無知的大禮物，所以每次進醫院都迷迷糊糊的，只會不停咕噥要趕緊出院打牌，她從來沒有讓我們面對病患本身的情感糾結，關於這一點，我們真的很幸福。

   No, shouldn't we rejoice? As my tears are about to be kidnapped by a burst of sad feeling, a voice protests. Granny is already ninety years old. It is sad but normal that her organs are not functioning. However, compared with other families, we are blessed because Granny never knows that she has cancer. God bestows one of the best gifts on her--ignorance. So every time when she is hospitalized, Granny thinks about nothing except wanting to go home as soon as possible so that she can play mahjong with her children. We are spared the torture of having to cope with the emotional ups and downs of the patient. 

        這一年來外婆老化的過程步調是漸進式的，即使有難過的情緒，至少我們都有些準備。表哥不斷輕撫外婆的頭髮，於是她又昏昏欲睡，我們站在病床的四周和病房外，安靜地看著她似乎要睡著的樣子，我不禁有不同於以前的想法，死亡也可以是輕盈平靜的，陪摯愛的人入睡，想著他們到另一個世界旅行夢想。

   Granny has aged at a gradual pace in the past year, so we have the chance to be more or less prepared. In the ward, my cousin fondles Granny's gray hair, trying to put her to sleep. She is surrounded by us as we watch her fall asleep quietly. Then I suddenly have a different idea about death than before. Death can be light and calm. It's actually putting people we love to sleep while they embark on a wonderful trip in a brand-new world. 

        表哥按了外婆的脈搏，外婆又醒了過來，很客氣地對他說：謝謝你醫生，不嫌棄我老。外婆有種神奇的魔力，也許她誤以為表哥是醫生，也許她是真心地開玩笑，她這麼一說，悲傷的病房裡突然出現了很溫暖的幽默，一整個散佈在空氣中，外婆也笑了，眼睛裡又出現亮亮的光，表哥也輕鬆地回答她：你都不嫌我年輕，我怎麼會嫌棄你老呢？接著爸爸又說：要打牌嗎？這次外婆居然像個乖小孩地說：不行啦，身體要照顧好才行。

   Granny opens her eyes when my cousin feels her pulse. She thanks him gently: Thank you doctor. Thank you for not dismissing me because of my old age. That is Granny's charm. Perhaps she really believes the doctor is visiting her, or perhaps she is just joking. Her sense of humor dispels the heaviness of illness and death, making the ward a warm place. She laughs too, and when she does that, I see glows in her beautiful eyes. My cousin can't help replying: You don't despise me because I am young either! My dad goes on to tease Granny: Would you like to play mahjong? Unlike the past, she answers: No, health is more important than anything now. 

        外婆時而清醒，時而走入過去或夢中，她不斷地揮揮手叫我們也都各自回家睡覺，我們還是杵在那兒，看她昏過去、醒來、又昏過去、又醒來，她是我的小睡美人，醒來很好，睡著了也好，我們要把握陪他入睡的當下。

   Granny wanders between the reality and the dream world on and off. She whisks her hand telling us to go home for some sleep though it's actually the middle of the day. We still remain immobile, looking at her wake up, fall asleep, wake up again, and fall asleep again. It occurs to me that she is my Little Sleeping Beauty. Whether she is awake or asleep, both are fine. 

        外婆在這世界的每一天都是我們的福氣，假如她真的得離開，我也不會只是難過，多於難過的是高興，因為她教了我死亡也可以很喜悅很美麗。

   Every day Granny is still with us, it's our luck. If she really has to go, I will feel more than sadness. I will feel more happiness than sadness for she has taught me death can be quite joyful and beautiful. 

38

昨天舅舅和我說，現在部落格縮水了，如果用好聽的說法是：我學會安靜。其實是因為想要專心做繪本，時間分配的架構有些改變。

In the family gathering yesterday, my uncle said I do not tend to spend so much time as before on my blog. Well, to put it beautifully, I'd say that I've learned to be quiet. But in fact, it's because I want to devote as much time as I can to making picture books. 

        今年國曆和農曆生日重疊，還是放假的中秋節，生日當天不用上班就已經很幸福，而且今天之前已經收到很多動人的祝福和禮物，所以沒有什麼大心願，只希望能夠待在書桌前認真畫圖，晚上邊運動邊賞月。

   This year my birthday on the solar and lunar calendars fall on the same day. I've got a fantastic gift of not having to go to work on my birthday, which is the mid-autumn festival. Besides, I've received a lot of wonderful best wishes and gifts. I'd be really greedy to ask for more. I want nothing more than spending the whole day writing and drawing. The evening will be reserved for a romantic walk under the moonlight. 

        只要可以一直畫圖，無論是什麼挑戰，我都可以找到答案，這就是最好的禮物了。

   As long as I can draw, I can make sense of anything. That is the best gift I can ever get in the world. 

Someone who sees / 看見

可以畫完一張速寫真是人生最大的幸福之一，不過就算沒有那樣的時間，搭捷運的十分鐘也夠，現在的我一點都不在意沒畫完這件事。

Now come to think of it, what a luxury it is to sit in a place for as long as I like for a sketch. Well, even if I can't afford that in my everyday life now, ten minutes of the MRT ride suffices. I no longer mind collecting unfinished drawings in my sketchbook. 

通常不會有人搭理我，今天把速寫本闔上，起身時頭左上方一抬，收到的是捷運駐車工作人員的微笑，好溫暖的早晨呢！

Usually other passengers are too sleepy or too busy to pay attention to my drawing activity. Today as soon as I close my book, I am greeted by a knowing smile by one MRT staff member when I am about to stand up. Isn't it a warm morning, I think to myself.