I hadn't seen my younger brother Jei for six years. He and his wife Claire flew away cooly after a short visit home for two weeks. Last time the night before he left, I had insomnia. Well, I always get quite sentimental at moments of saying goodbye. This time we headed for Zhu-wei Fisherman's Wharf right after seeing them off at the airport. I sketched the harbor at sunset until I couldn't see anything in front of me. I slept soundly the same night, which means I have learned to bid farewell as I age.
We are learning the word "accumulation" this week. I ask the girls the question, "What accumulates as we get older?" They offer various answers like children, wrinkles, gray hair, experience and wisdom. My answer is, "The things and people we leave behind."
However, my heart doesn't agree with me. I have been dreaming of people I no longer see, even those whom I've seen only once in my entire life.
Sometimes I really dislike myself for being repressed. I stuff everything into a corner of my heart, meanwhile believing that I have left them go.