Big Sis & Angry Little Lion / 姊姊‧生氣的小獅子

夏天到了，每個人似乎都多了那麼些煩躁。

With the approach of summer, everyone seems to get a little bit more cranky.

最近我作繪本草圖的練習，而小方是很好的讀者，所以每到周末，我便把前一周的成品和他分享，可能因為故事的角色是我們身邊的人物，他對於我的草本愛不釋手。

I’ve been practicing writing picture books over the past one month. Von is my one and only reader. He takes a great liking to the plots because they are all related to people around us. Thus, it has become one of our routines to read my stories together on weekends.

不過這個周末他玩過頭了，把草本當作玩具在地上拖，讓非常難得發脾氣的我，覺得多少要說他一頓，結果反而把他的叛逆性給喚出來，我說：你要好好愛護這本書，弄壞了就沒得讀了，小方明明很喜歡它，卻回嘴：沒關係，反正我書很多，你很生氣，我也很生氣。繼他兩歲之後，我們已經很少吵到不能溝通的地步，於是我想，再和他說下去也是徒然，我便安靜地走回到書桌，甚麼話也沒說。

However, this weekend he kind of went too far. Carried away by excitement, he dragged the handmade book bought from India on the floor as if it were his toy car. I felt the need to give him a lecture, so I said calmly, “You should take good care of this book because it’s the only one in the world.” I knew how much he loves it, but he talked back, “I don’t care. I have a lot of books. I am as angry as you!” Since he turned two, we had hardly staged such a fierce fight. I thought that we should cool down first, so I went back to the desk without saying anything.

從小時候到將近三十歲，冷戰一直都是我的專長，我花了好多年擺脫這個我也討厭萬分的壞習慣，但是那天中午坐在書桌前，我很訝異自己年輕時居然能夠忍受冷戰那種動彈不得的壓抑，即使我說只是要讓小獅子冷靜，我覺得當時的空氣很不舒服。至於小獅子，先是跑去找周圍的長輩，希望他們認同他，再來又跑到我身邊，一邊收拾玩具一邊碎碎念，最後靠過來說：妳在畫甚麼啊？

Over the first 30 years of my life, silent treatment had always been my expertise. It took me so many years and efforts to get rid of this habit, which I hate as well. That noon, when I sat at the desk, I was surprised by my past self for being able to bear with the suffocating air when I gave others silent treatment. Even though I only intended to calm Von down, I didn’t feel comfortable. Meanwhile, Von went to my mom, trying to win some support. Later, he came to the living room, putting away his toys and murmuring to himself about not liking me anymore. In the end, he stood beside me and asked, “What are you drawing?”

在敝人爸爸的勸說之下，小獅子終於道歉，兩手稍息放在背後，很認真地把整件事始末用清楚的語言表達，我看著他說：「你為甚麼要邊說邊笑呢？」他回答：「乾阿公說要帶著微笑。」我真是不知哭還笑，連道歉都搞得這麼逗趣。

Persuaded by my dad, Von finally apologized, with both hands behind his back. I looked at him trying to put the whole story into words, “Why do you laugh when you apologize?” “Grandpa said I should apologize with smiles.” I was rather amused by the answer despite my anger.

就像明明沒有人教我冷戰，我卻要花一輩子戒掉這個惡習，學習溝通，小獅子大概也要花上一輩子學習放下強烈的自尊心，也好啦，太完美的人生活恐怕會很無聊。

No one taught me to give silent treatment after a fight, but it took me a whole life to shake it off and learn to communicate efficiently. Obviously, Von will have to spend the rest of his life casting his strong ego aside. Well, that gives each of us a life lesson to focus on, or our life would be really dull.

我們吵得如火如荼時，可愛的小楷忙著滿場跑叫台語版的「姊姊」，因為這是他會的幾個稱謂之一，我們每一個人不管男女老幼，都變成姊姊了。

When the fight was going on, Kai was running around calling “Big Sis” in Taiwanese. Since this is one of the few words he knows, everyone of us, whether man or woman, young or old, is Big Sis for him…