not all by myself / 不是一個人

不是第一次自己一個人去旅行，但卻是第一次為了旅行，自己一個人去旅行。途中遇到很多也是一個人的旅者，來自世界各地，我喜歡大家對自己的寂寞毫不掩飾，熱情地分享個人經驗，但是第二天卻又各自踏上不同的旅途，我們之間有著不可言喻的微妙準則，我對於旅途上不斷擦身而過創造出的短暫關係，感到相當好奇和有趣。

This was not the first time I traveled by myself, but it was the first time I traveled by myself solely for the sake of traveling. I came across many individual travelers from all over the world on my journey. I like how everyone was not ashamed to hide their loneliness and how everyone shared their personal experiences. However, the next day, everyone went his or her way. There are unwritten rules among us. I am so intrigued by the short relationships with by-passing fellow travelers along the way.

例如說，有些人看起來似乎是一夥的，不過細聽他們說話，又客氣到令我懷疑他們可能也是最近幾天才認識，每天出遊的組合都像是在玩排列組合，的確，旅行是測驗友誼的幾大考驗之一，那麼何不為彼此留點空間呢？在我們那樣急於渴望陪伴之餘，千萬不要忘記距離也是保持良好關係的一大因素。

For example, some people seemed to come together, but after I paid attention to their talk, their mutual politeness gave me the doubt that they might have met recently. Every day I saw different groups of people going out. The possibility of combination was even beyond what permutation and combination in math could predict. Well, traveling is one of the big tests for all kinds of relationships, so why not leave some space for each other? When we so desire for company, it is a must not to forget that distance is also indispensable in maintaining a relationship.

在我感到很寂寞的時刻，往往眼前又都是成雙成對的遊客，此時便會問自己一個人旅行的意義到底何在，有時候我那麼確定自己不是一個人，但是有時我又想，我到底還是一個人吧！

At my lonely moments, I saw only couples in front of my eyes. Then I would ask myself the point of traveling alone. Sometimes I was so sure I was not all by myself, but other times I couldn't help thinking that I was all alone.

而'當我正要那樣相信時，往往不知哪就會冒出一件好玩的事，是前一刻的我完全看不到的，然後我便興致沖沖地隨著人潮排隊，忘了剛才的低落。

While I was about to fall for that belief, something fun would pop out of nowhere, and I had not seen it at all the moment before. I would move in the queue with the crowds, totally leaving my despair behind.

其實我的心底一直都知道答案，我帶著很多人的眼睛旅行，到植物園時，我為研究植物的她拍照，到了廟宇，我為他祈願，到了百貨公司，我為他們買禮物，到了美麗的景點，我為她們寫明信片，到了下午茶時間，我和她一請吃鬆餅，做了每一件事，我總是對自己說：旅行真好。

As a matter of fact, I'd always known the answer. I traveled with the memory of many people. When I was in the botanical garden, I took photos for her who studied botany. When I was in temples, I prayed for him. When I was in department stores, I bought gifts for them. When I saw something scenic, I wrote them postcards. During the afternoon tea time, I ate waffles with her. After I did everything, I said to myself, "How wonderful it is to travel!"

然後等我回家之後，發現自己被想念著，我就更確定自己的答案了。

Then, after I came home and realized that I was so much missed, I was even sure of my own answer...

on the way 3 / 夢想實現中 3

07/12/08, 07/13/08

「如果你有很喜歡做的事，這件事會帶你走得很遠很遠，看到很不一樣的世界。」─我在鷹架上的體會

"If there is something you enjoy doing, it will take you very far and show you a whole new world."--My epiphany on the scaffolds


上個周末的壁畫工程又是一段充滿轉折的故事。話說我周六一早獨自抵達美術館戶外場地時，原本很得意我是第一個到達的人，不過一看到很有敵意的鷹架時，整個人都傻了眼，我很仔細地研究要如何爬到最高層，發現這對不擅長體育的我，真的是不可能的任務。我深吸數口氣，左思右想，決定用之前的鐵梯作為輔助，但是周圍又毫無人煙，我只好隨便抓個遊客幫我在下面扶梯子。當我和恐懼掙扎之際，歐吉桑一邊道：「你有必要為藝術犧牲成這個樣子嗎？我看你不要勉強囉！萬一有甚麼事，你一個人在這裡，很危險的。」平常的我可能哼一聲地就走掉了，當時我的腿都軟了，深深覺得歐吉桑的話很有道理，便有了自己應該回到地面、把包袱收收的領悟。

My wall-painting mission continues, and last weekend there was a long story full of twists and turns. I was rather happy to be the first person that arrived on the scene last Saturday morning, but soon my good mood was challenged by the hostile-looking scaffolds. I thought very hard about how to climb to the top. However, it was really Mission Impossible for me, who is never ever good at sports. I took several deep breaths, trying to make use of the iron ladders as an aid. Since there was no one around, I begged a visitor to hold steady the ladders for me. While I was fighting with my fear, my temporary assistant said, "Do you have to go so far for art? Don't force yourself. Should something happen and you are all alone here, it can be very dangerous." I might have walked away if I had been on the ground. At that moment, my legs were like mashed potatoes. I couldn't agree with him more, so I had the dawning realization that I should come back to the ground, pack my belongings and leave.

待歐吉桑離開之後，我和鷹架面對面，雖然心已經被害怕佔據了，卻還是有很多不服氣，我開始打電話，一面問薛吉何時抵達，一面請雅鈞和馨予來幫忙，大家想破頭也要把我給送上離地面四公尺的高度，最後是有經驗的卓小弟宏謙，因為曾經畫過我的這一塊版面，很輕鬆自在地示範爬行方式，讓下面的我看得嘖嘖稱奇。我並沒有那麼勇敢，只是看著大家這麼鼓勵我，我慢慢地就坐上離牆邊最近的木板了，最後眾人還紛紛推薦我轉行去當油漆工，當時我突然很珍惜我那美好的工作。

When the visitor left, I was all alone with the scaffolds. My heart was filled with fear, but I believed I was more than that. I started to make phone calls to Shaggy, Ya-jun and Hsin-yu. Everyone racked their brain trying to send me up to 4 meters from the ground. In the end, it was Hong-chien, who once painted my part of the wall two years ago, that demonstrated with ease for me how to climb the scaffolds. I was very impressed by his poise. I wasn't that brave, but with their encouragement, I made it to the wooden planks that were closest to the top of the wall. These funny people even said I was good enough to brush walls as a new career option. I suddenly cherished my current job a lot.

爬上去除了需要勇氣之外，輕盈的好身段更不可缺，我在鐵架和鐵梯裡鑽來鑽去，到了最上面之後，如果要保持站立的姿勢，還得像蜘蛛人般，手掌得緊貼著牆壁，一整天下來，對於身體是很大的考驗。每爬上去一次，我就會對薛吉碎碎念一次：「這種事情不是做了一百次就不會害怕，當然是不得已的啊！」

It takes not only courage but also a lithe body to get up there. I writhed between the scaffolds and the iron ladders. When I got to the top, one of my hands had to lean firmly on the wall when I stood up, like Spiderman. These were great physical tests. Whenever I had to climb, I would groan to Shaggy, "I can never be immune to fear, even one hundred times after I do it. I have no choice..."

害怕歸害怕，離地四公尺的許多感受和在地面上不盡相同，當蟬鳴響起時，坐在上頭有種被立體音響環繞的貴賓級享受，或者微風一吹時，我感受到的涼意是在地面上的好幾倍，不過晚上當蚊子全部出來開派對，肆意地在我的皮膚上狂吻，坐在下面的薛吉可以大聲地詛咒，我只能面帶微笑地想：「好樣的！」

Though I never totally got rid of fear, it felt very different to be in the air than on the ground. When the concert of cicadas began, I felt like surrounded by the most luxurious Hi-Fi stereos. Or when the breeze blew, I felt so much cooler than down there. But when all the mosquitoes swarmed out in the evening for their feast and kissed my skin like crazy, Shaggy, not too far from the ground, could curse like a mad man. I could only smile and think, "Damned..."

我們就這樣畫過一個有著陽光的午後、一個有著星星的傍晚。到了第二天，我清楚地明白，恐懼這回事，想像大過於事實，有了這個體悟，第二個午後，我學會了享受坐在鷹架上的時刻，甚至在某一刻，我居然想，如果我死後也能安然地坐在高空裡畫畫，身邊有微風輕撫、亮亮的陽光，那就好。

In this way, we painted away a sunny afternoon, a starry evening. The second day, I learned a great thing about fear, that is, we tend to dramatize it with our imagination. In the second sunny afternoon, I learned to enjoy the time spent on the scaffolds. At one moment, it even occurred to me that I could accept death without cowering if I could sit like that in the air painting with sunshine and breezes around me after I died.

最後我要好好地感謝薛吉，照片裡沒有她的芳蹤，不過我薛吉在我的背後撐腰，因為薛吉，我才能安心地爬上去，這輩子除了我很愛的John和Sharon，我好像還沒有這麼樣地信賴一個人。

In the end, I want to say "thank you very much" to Shaggy. You can't see her in the photos, but she is my pillar. Because of her, I could make it to the top, reassured that she would catch me if I fell. I don't think I have ever trusted someone like that in my life apart from my beloved John and Sharon.

這真的是很痛快的一個周末，對於下一個畫畫的周末，我更充滿了期待！

It was a superb superb weekend. I can't wait for the next wall-painting session!

the soul of Seoul / 首爾的靈魂

圖片由上至下分別攝於韓屋村‧清溪川‧景福宮

pictures taken at Namsangol Hanok Village, Cheong Gye Cheon, Gyeong Bok Gung

說我挑剔或有偏執狂都好，但是我喜歡的是這些看似平凡卻無比美麗的片刻，因為那一刻我看到了首爾的靈魂。

You can say I am picky or paranoid. I don't mind. What I love is those seemingly ordinary yet terribly beautiful moments because then I see the soul of Seoul.

Where is the soul of Seoul? 2 / 首爾的靈魂呢？2

攝於樂天世界‧首爾

photos taken at Lotte World, Seoul

「深夜加油站遇見蘇格拉底」裡的智者說，每一刻都有事情發生。我待在樂天世界的五個小時之中，必然也有人的生命改變了。

The wise man in "Peaceful Warrior" said that things happen every moment. I spent five hours in Lotte World, and some people's lives must have changed within that long period of time.

為了靜下心來體驗這句話，我佇立在旋轉木馬前不動，看著來來去去的人潮。有個女孩吸引我的目光，我不在意她有否動過整型手術，站在遠處的我，其實看不太清楚她的五官，但是她喜歡自己的心情卻讓兩公尺外的我感受到了。

To calm down and feel the words, I stood fixed away from the carousel, observing people coming and going. A girl caught my eye. I didn't care if she had had plastic surgery because the distance between us made it impossible for me to take a close look at her features.Despite the distance, I could feel how much she liked herself.

我要為智者的話做補充：每個時刻都是個舞台，而韓國人選擇美麗地登場。

I would like to add one more sentence to that of the wise man: every moment is a stage. And Koreans choose to appear in their best looks.

Where is the soul of Seoul? / 首爾的靈魂呢？

攝於樂天世界‧首爾

photos taken at Lotte World, Seoul

每次去大城市旅行回來，總是告訴自己下次不要再往城市跑了，我想看的是自然的風景，而不是人工建築或百貨公司。很可惜，今年居然high到忘記這件重要的事，再加上韓劇的海外促銷太過成功，我便傻傻地跑去首爾了。

Every time when I traveled to big cities in other countries, I always ended up reminding myself not to repeat the same mistake. What captivates me is natural scenery, rather than artificial architecture or department stores. It was a shame that I was too high to bear that in mind this summer. Besides, with the brain-washing effect of Korean TV series, I found myself in Seoul.

跟團的行程讓我沒有機會和當地人互動，我一路上想著這個城市的貧乏，就算街上充斥著各式各樣的美女，我卻沒有被感動，事實真是如此，還是我沒有看清楚？

Traveling with a tour group deprived me of the opportunities to interact with local people. On my way, I couldn't help complaining about lack of style of this city. Even though the streets were crowded with all kinds of beautiful women, I did not feel moved at all. Was it really so, or I was too blind?

今天早上整理相片時，我的想法有了一百八十度的改變。我看了自己隨手亂按快門拍下的照片，發現這個城市的人們還挺適合黑白照的。導遊說，首爾人沒甚麼娛樂，所以連去到區區的樂天世界都是件開心的事，樂園裡處處都是背著專業大相機的人群，看來我不以為然的地方，對韓國人還真是意義非凡。

This morning when I was sorting out the photos, my idea took a U-turn change. I stared at the pictures I had taken randomly, and I found people in this city looked good in black and white. The tour guide said that there aren't many places to go in Seoul, so even a visit to a mere Lotte World makes them happy. The theme park was full of potential photographers carrying large and professional cameras. It seems that such a place, which I do not think very highly of, has much significance for Koreans.

五光十色的遊樂園在我的相片裡有種迷幻的效果，人們可以暫時脫離現實世界的苛求，盡情地大聲喧鬧嘻笑。全世界都知道韓國的經濟突飛猛進、文化傳統到有時會令人窒息，但是在這裡，我們忘了真實的首爾。但是又不同於韓劇裡那被包裝過的浪漫，遊樂園裡有各種情緒─迷失、低落、興奮、膽怯、解放，絕不是只有精美的男女主角兩人獨自包下偌大的溜冰場隨著優美的音樂起舞。

The theme park with all colors of light have a hallucinating effect in my photos. People get away from the strict demands of the real world to shout and laugh out loud for a moment. All the world knows that the economy of Korea has taken a giant leap, that their culture is so traditional that sometimes it can be strangling. However, here, we have forgotten the real Seoul. Still, this place is different from the well-designed romantic set in Korean TV series. The park boils with all kinds of emotion--being lost, low, excited, timid, liberated and so on. It is more than the classical scene in Korean TV series with the perfect-looking hero and heroine skating to melodious music on the vast skating rink.

比起冷冰冰的完美，就是對片刻的五光十色嚮往，也是一種美麗吧！

Compared with icy-cold perfection or lack of feeling, even the momentary longing for such glittering colors is beautiful...

vacation time / 夏日旅行

我喜歡旅行沿途的速度，因為得不停移動，所以沒有時間感傷。這個月我又要去感受那灑脫的速度感了，請耐心等待我回來。

I like to feel that excitement of speed on a trip. As a traveler that has to move from one place to another, there is no time for sentimentality. This month, I am going to leave everything behind and experience the speed again. Please be patient for my return.

2005 法國
2005 France

2006 義大利

2006 Italy

2007 日本

2007 Japan

2008 未知

2008 unknown