Little Red Umbrella / 小紅傘

獻給我的小紅傘們

dedicated to my little red umbrellas

People We Love / 我們愛的人

這一兩個星期進教室之前，總會看到這張令我心一振的海報，因為暗暗覺得那就是我啊，卻沒有人來和我說，我的肖像被借用去當教師節的慶祝活動了。

These two weeks, before I go into the classroom, I never miss this poster which gives my heart a lift. I secretly believe it’s me, but no one told me about my image being borrowed for the celebration of Teacher’s Day.

今天心血來潮一問之下，發現是子榕的作品，而且果然主角就是我，本來就覺得這個作品很有fu，現在就更喜歡它，想到每天上班都可以看到自己，這是很大的鼓勵呢！而且我很高興我的側影旁沒有附上「師恩如高山流水」這一類的祝詞。

It occurred to me to look into the matter today. So it turned out to be Zi-Rong’s work and it’s me in the picture! It caught my eye in the beginning, and now I only get to like it much better. What’s more encouraging than seeing myself when I go to work every day? Besides, I am glad that next to my silhouette there is no cliché like “Teachers are as great as God…”

坐電車回家時，讀到Jodi Picoult寫的一句話，我們愛的人每天都會帶給我們不同的驚喜，好像再怎麼認識，都還是有期待之外的未知，每天每天都有不意擦出的小火花，我真是喜歡我的工作！

When I was reading on my way home, I came across some words in Jodi Picoult’s book. She said, people we love surprise us every day. No matter how well we know them, there are always sparkles and fire beyond our expectations. That explains why I like my job so much!

Miss You

就說，我的生日派對依舊持續著。我要感謝美燕和身邊的友人，這些人有著最美麗的靈魂。

Like I said, my birthday party goes on. Heartfelt thanks to Meiyen and those around me, who have the most beautiful souls.

我很久不用英文名字了，也很不喜歡別人直接叫我全名，所以每次和學生自我介紹時，會說，如果真的得叫我，就稱呼我Miss You吧！感覺這是個到六十歲仍然會很潮的名字。

I haven’t used any English name for ages. And I dislike people calling me by my full name. Therefore, whenever it’s time to introduce myself to new students, I’d say, call me Miss You. This feels like a trendy name that’ll still sound so when I sail into my sixties.

我們常說人如其名，名字真的會影響一個人的性格嗎？我想是吧，就算我們完全不自知，但是好像在無形中，我們的人格就朝著名字的意義發展。所以無論如何，我們都要試著喜歡自己的名字。

We often say, we are what our names indicate. Do names really influence one’s personalities? I think so. Even without our awareness, we develop into the kind of people our names want us to be. So we have to like our names anyway.

Miss You是個很容易引起誤會的稱呼，因為我在信尾簽上Miss You的時候，別人會勿以為我很想念他們，不過假如因此讓大家開心了一下，我倒不是很在意。最近這幾個禮拜，我覺得我的命運真的是被Miss You主導，走在校園裡，上一年教的女孩紛紛說：我很想你！或者畢業很多年的大女生透過友人傳達同樣的訊息，讓我原本冬眠的虛榮心燃燒了起來。

Miss You is a term that easily causes misunderstanding. When I sign Miss You at the end of a letter, people will read it as a message that I miss them. Well, if this makes their day, I don’t mind at all. Over the past few weeks, I have the feeling that my life has been crammed with Miss You. When I walk on the campus, the girls I taught last year would shout from a long way off, “I miss you!” Or those who graduated many years ago would convey the same message indirectly. Oh, how these words make my dormant vanity burn again…

想念可以很大，也可以小小的，我喜歡小小的想念，當你對我說，你想念我每天早上走進教室的第一句話，我的語氣裡充滿陽光地說：Good morning everyone。我覺得很意外，是因為這樣簡單的原因被惦記著。

We can be missed because of many many things, or maybe it’s just a tiny detail. I like the latter. When you say to me, I miss the first words you said when you stepped into the classroom every morning. I miss how you said, “Good morning everyone!” with sunshine in your tone. I am surprised that I am remembered due to such a simple reason.

雖然我知道自己很快就會被遺忘了，可是沒有關係，在那之前，你已經溫暖我的心房。

I know, I will be forgotten soon, but it won’t matter. Before that happens, you have warmed my heart.

star carrier / 載星星的人

靈感來自於小方 / inspired by Von

déjà vu / 似曾相識

隆達，西班牙 / Ronda, Spain

貓空，台北 / Maokong, Taipei

我收集似曾相識的時光。

I am a collector of déjà vu moments.

One Percent / 百分之一

照片攝於從瓦倫西亞前往格瑞納達的途中

photos taken on the way from Valencia to Granada

八月在計畫這學期英文專題課時，赫然發現請了外師的那天是我的生日，這是我給自己最大的禮物，畢竟我也常希望可以閉嘴，聽聽別人的聲音。

When I was planning the syllabus for this semester’s special courses for the gifted class back in August, it occurred to me that I had invited a foreign lecturer on my birthday. I think this is the biggest gift I have prepared for myself, by accident. After all, I often wish I could shut up and listen to others.

所以今天我一派輕鬆，不像平常，從早上就要開始準備，我本來想，我只要坐在教室後面兩個小時，快樂地過完另一個工作天。不過人生真的是處處有驚喜，要下課前夕，有一組同學的劇本主題是愛情，結果講師Igor很激動地說：華人最會隱藏自己的感情了，那不是害羞，是恐懼！我們對人示愛，百分之九十九會受挫，那又怎樣？如果能碰到百分之一，一切都值得！因為他又說，我很老了，但是我很快樂，請相信我說的真理。小朋友們懂不懂，我不清楚，但我點頭如搗蒜。

So today I was really at ease, unlike other weeks when I always have to start the preparation from the morning time. I thought all I had to do was sit in the back of the classroom and then draw a period to another happy work day. But life is just full of surprises. Right before the end of the class, one group of kids came up with the theme of love for their play. Then the lecturer Igor couldn’t help sharing his points of view with us: Chinese people are good at hiding their feelings! That is not being shy. It’s fear that stands in the way. When we bare our hearts to others, chances are that we might be turned down, and in 99% of the cases, it’s true. But if we run into that 1% of people, it’s all worth the effort. He kept saying, trust me because I’ve lived a long life and I am a happy man. I don’t know how the kids felt, but I nodded my head like crazy.

送Igor出去搭車的時候，我對他說，我總是打開心的那個人，不過都遭到拒絕了，他轉過來對我說，他們一定錯過許多，我沒有傷心或難過地說，我知道。

When I walked Igor to the bus station, I said to him, I am always the one that opens my heart, but I am constantly turned down. He just turned and looked at me, saying, “They have lost a lot.” I replied calmly without feeling sad or upset, “I know.”

除了之前收的無數的禮物，今天學生送了我George Benson的Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love for You，我剛好收到Jamie從芝加哥的來信，弟弟把Stacey Kent的專輯用美麗的黃絲帶包起來放在我桌上，傍晚爸爸要帶我去買新的慢跑鞋，我以為我生日禮物都收完了，卻來了這麼一個大禮物。我一定常常聽起來很像個快樂地很沒有深度的傻蛋，但那不是我不懂悲傷，我只是覺得它得用在值得的地方，我也有創傷，但那又怎樣呢？總有要痊癒的一天吧！所以我還是要相信，有一天我會找到真愛，有一天我會得波隆納，因為在相信和不相信之間，我還有甚麼選擇呢？

Apart from tons of gifts I had received before today, students sang to me today George Benson’s Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love for You, which is my favorite at this moment. I found Jamie’s letter from Chicago in the mailbox. Jun put Stacey Kent’s CD tied with a yellow ribbon on my desk. Dad is taking me to buy a pair of new running shoes this evening. Just when I thought I had got all the gifts, a BIG one dropped from the sky. I must sound like a shallow happy fool all the time, but that’s not because I don’t understand sorrow. I just believe it has to be used in the right places. I have trauma from the past, but so what? The wounds have to heal sooner or later. Therefore, I still want to believe that one day I will find true love and that I will become one of the selected illustrators in the Bologna Book Fair because between the choices of believing and not believing, you know the one I’d go for.

watermelon birthday cake and my dream old-age looks / 西瓜生日蛋糕和我的夢幻老妝

汪達和小方繪 / painted by Wanda and Von

李薛吉繪 / drawn by Shaggy Lee

Expansion / 拓展

今年年初宇珍拿了一袋小紙條讓我抽今年的生活課題，我拿到了「拓展」，如今過了八個月，讓我想想我是否有朝這個方向前進。

Early this year Olivia made me draw a slip from her bag of fortune. I got “expansion.” Eight months have passed by, and let me think if the word does reflect my life direction.

為了迎接新學期的開始，我剪了頭髮，換了造型，並且發現自己不再是最年輕的教師之一，辦公室裡已經有我當年的學生和我同坐，除了這明明白白的事實，當新進的教師認真地討論教學活動和學生反應時，我卻興高采烈地和老鳥們說著我新購的配件和衣服，這樣應該也算是一種拓展的表現吧？不過認識我的人應該都知道我這輩子沒花甚麼時間為學生單字拼錯而苦惱。

To welcome the new semester, I had my hair cut for a brand-new style. I realized that I am no longer one of the youngest teachers. One of the incoming teachers was my student many years ago. Apart from this shocking fact, when new teachers were seriously discussing teaching activities and students’ feedback, I was busy chatting about my latest accessories and clothes with other old hands. This should be a good example of expansion? But those around me should know that I hardly worry about my students’ misspelled words all my life.

好吧，說點嚴肅的話題，雖然我好像沒甚麼前進，在各方面也沒有甚麼實質的收穫，可是我的視野似乎又那麼寬了一點，可以接受和欣賞的尺度又打開了些，例如說，我之前不是很懂華裔澳籍繪本家陳志勇充滿深度的作品，最近突然很著迷，他的書就變成我送給自己的生日禮物之一，這應該也是種成長吧！

Seriously, it seems that I have not moved forward much, and I can’t name any actual gain. But I seem to have broadened my horizons, able to accept more people, more possibilities. For example, I didn’t understand the profound and beautiful works of Shaun Tan, a Perth-based Australian artist, but lately I’ve been so obsessed with his images. So his book became one of the birthday gifts I bought for my birthday. This should be a kind of growth.

我的生日不是今天，是9月8日，但是我習慣在之前或之後放煙霧彈，所以我身邊的人也都自由自在，大家從八月底就開始隨意地選日期送給我祝福，感覺我過了至少半個月的生日派對，總之我打從心底謝謝你的好意。今天的畫紙就是遠從英國帶回來的生日禮物！

My birthday is not today. It’s the eighth of September, but I am used to posting pictures and words before or after. My friends, influenced by my carefree attitude, choose any date they prefer beginning from the end of August and send me greetings on their favorite days. It feels like I am having a long birthday party lasting at least 2 to 3 weeks. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. The paper I used for the picture today traveled all the way from Britain!

有人和我說，生日應該要為母親慶祝，所以最近我一直在謝謝媽媽，送給我渾然天成的自然捲，和開朗快樂的性格，這是我一生最寶貴的資產。

Someone told me, I should celebrate for my mom on my birthday, so I’ve been thanking her for giving me natural curls that never stop arousing people’s jealousy and very outgoing personalities, which are actually my most precious assets.

我希望我能夠趁今年結束之前，繼續拓展我的生活，卻不放棄總是伴隨我的堅持和毅力，就像圖裡的我，即使旅館光線不足，我就是趴到陽台前都要為小方畫明信片，我要一直愛著自己和照顧別人，為自己和家人朋友和學生寫故事，誠實地面對自己。

I hope I can keep expanding my life before this year ends without giving up my persistence and perseverance. Like me in the picture, because of the dim light in the hotel room, I decided to kneel in front of the balcony to draw postcards for Von. I want to love myself and others, draw stories for everyone, and be honest with me always.

如果你因為我的生日也快樂，那就是我的獲得了。祝你快樂！

If you are happy because of my birthday, that’ll be a lovely birthday gift for me!