crying boy / 哭泣的男孩

去南投旅行已經是將近一個月之前的事了，本來想要好好地塗鴉，記錄旅行裡的小細節，可是到了當地之後，大概是因為過於放鬆，結果甚麼也沒畫。

The chronological distance between the present and the trip to Nanto is almost one month. I had meant to doodle away four days as a way to record the details of the trip. But the truth is, I was too loosened up to do anything.

沒有紀錄並不代表空白。每一趟旅行多多少少改變了我，即使沒有確實的痕跡，有些畫面卻難以否定。要離開的那個早晨，原住民小朋友三三兩兩站在遊覽車外面和城市來的大女孩道再見，在大人的催促之下，後者依依不捨地上車，沒有上車的人則顯得失落。

Lack of records in any form does not mean nothing happened. Every trip changes me in certain ways. Even without actual records, some images are ineffaceable. The aboriginal kids scattered nearby the coach buses, saying goodbye to big girls from the city. When the adults prompted the latter, they got on the buses with pieces of their hearts left behind. Those outside were equally at sea.

本來我只是個旁觀者，但是當車子發動，轉個彎要上路之前，有個男孩的哭臉填滿了我的視線，他傷心地哭著，看起來非常手足無措，我想他需要哭泣的儀式，過個一兩天就可以往下走。我卻因為那個畫面，難過了好一陣子。

I had been a bystander. But when the bus started and took a turn before hitting the road, the image of a crying boy filled my sight. He looked so heartbroken and lost. I think he needed the ritual of crying, and then he could move on one or two days later. Yet, my heart was bruised for a long while.

因為我也那樣在好些場合哭過，每次都和自己說，下次不要再重複這樣傷心的經驗了，可是又擔心自己變成總是逃避受傷的人。

Because I cried like that on some occasions. I always told myself not to repeat the sad experience anymore, but meanwhile I was afraid of turning into an escapist.

找到平衡點之前，先把他的臉畫下來‧‧‧

Before I find the balance point, I just need to draw his face first...