gifts / 禮物

最近忙到神經麻痺，覺得自己有點在浪費生命，每天只想著把手邊的工作完成，拼命往前衝之後，卻沒有得到任何快感，這好像不是我要的人生。

Lately I've been so busy that my nerves are almost numbed. I have a feeling that I am wasting life. The only thing on my mind every day is to finish all the work that rolls in. But I don't feel any sense of achievement after I rush forward so blindly. This isn't the kind of life I want.

還好，我得到John和Sharon送給我的禮物─新畫桌，自從換了桌子之後，整個作息的方向也隨之改變，聽著從房間音響流出來的爵士樂清楚多了，而且晴天之際，我和陽光面對面，畫圖的時後感覺非常之幸福。

Fortunately, I got a superb gift from John and Sharon--a new art table. Since I got it, I have changed the seating direction. I can hear the jazz music that flows out of the stereo in my room better. On sunny days, the sunshine and I are face-to-face. I feel so happy when I paint.

今天早上讀到令我醍醐灌頂的一句話，Jack Kerouac說，愛著生命的每一個細節，看來我得重新讓我的神經紓緩，好好感受我渺小但美麗的生活。

I read a quote that moved me this morning. Jack Kerouac said, be in love with your life, every detail of it. It seems I have to let my nerves breathe to enjoy my humble yet beautiful existence...

she deserves a story / 她的故事

兩個月前人生無聊時，無意間發現信誼基金會的繪本徵稿，雖然很認真地立了大願，不過寫完故事打完底圖之後，就開始沉迷於我的小書創作，一直到兩個星期前才良心發現，很誠懇地步回正途。

Two months ago when I lacked goals again, I came across the announcement of a picture book contest. In the beginning, I made a very big wish to participate in it this year. Everything all went well for the first week. However, after I wrote the story and drew the sketch, I was distracted by the beauty of mini-books and totally fell for it. It wasn't until two weeks ago that my conscience beckoned me to the path I was supposed to take.

我得說，準備一個很偉大的計畫，那種感覺很像結婚，明明是帶著喜悅和憧憬，但一路走下去之後，發現責任感是不可缺的，同時原來不怎麼了不起、之前被排擠到腦門後的一些想法，在此時顯得特別誘人，令人想要立刻放下正房，奔向新目標。我知道這個比喻是有些奇怪，可是我完全可以理解人喜新厭舊的習性。

I have to say, preparing for a BIG project is kind of like marriage. I start with joy and hope, but as I walk on, it hits me that the sense of responsibility is more important than any sentiment. When engaged in it, some originally trivial ideas which have been pushed back to the back of my mind appear to be particularly tempting at this moment. Sometimes I feel the longing to put down what's in my hands and start another new project. This comparison might seem improper, but I can't deny that we were all born with the preference for new things.

後來我之所以願意回來好好完成原先的計畫，是因為我想要替我的外婆寫故事，我可愛的外婆八十多歲，不是什麼有名的人，但是我想要為她畫幾張圖，就是再淺的痕跡，她都值得。當我這樣想時，我的出發點改變了，心態也全然不同。

Later I was willing to resume my former plan because I'd always wanted to write a story for my granny, who has been in this world for more than eighty years. She is nobody for most of you out there, but she means a lot to me. I want to draw some pictures for her. She deserves a story and leaves some traces, however light they are. When I thought like that, I had a completely different motive, and I felt different.

當然中間還是有疲累、沒有自信的時候，而這時我就特別想念部落格上的鼓勵，分享作品還真是很美好呢！

Well, there are still moments of fatigue, moments of diffidence. At this time, I especially miss the words of encouragement on my blog. It's certainly one of the most beautiful things to share works with those who care!

Story of a Peapod / 豆莢的故事

最近很多人讓我想到這個問題，有一天當你離開台灣時，最想念的會是什麼？我想食物一定會高居排行榜的前幾名，可是生活裡總有一些很微妙的事物，沒有離開之前不會想到，離開之後，卻會在不經意時從我們的回憶裡滾出來，那就是想家的感覺吧！

Lately a lot of people have reminded me of the question—one day when you leave Taiwan, what will you miss most? I bet food will rank high, but there are always some subtle things or experiences we don’t take seriously when they are part of our lives. However, they’ll roll out of our memories when we find ourselves in faraway places from home. It is what we call nostalgia.

我為想家的匈牙利小姐做了一本小書，叫「豆莢的故事」，是說有顆小豆莢因為離家，想家想得要命，最後想著想著就變成人了。因為想念的心情和寂寞的感覺都是人與生俱來的情緒，就是住在家鄉，一定也會想念著另一個地方，既然如此，我們與其想要掙脫，不如接受這是身為人的一部份。

I wrote a story for the homesick Miss Hungary titled Story of a Peapod. It’s about a peapod which is so homesick that in the end the heart-breaking feeling turns her into a human being. I think that nostalgia and loneliness come into existence with our birth. Even when we live in our home countries, we miss somewhere else. Then, instead of struggling against it, we might as well accept the feeling as part of us.

獻給Carol

dedicated to Carol

從前有一顆小豆莢，對於她生活的地方不能更滿意了。

There was once a peapod. She loved everything about the world she lived in.

可是有一天，她因為工作，面臨了搬家的命運。

But one day, she had to leave for a new place because of her job.

新的世界裡，處處都是尖銳的稜角，她覺得自己像個局外人。

It was full of sharp edges. She couldn't fit in.

她的心下起雨來。

It rained in her heart.

她想念著他和她。

She missed him and her.

她想念著他們的空中花園。

She missed their garden in the air.

她想念著用愛調製的精力湯。

She missed the juice made with love.

於是一顆種子在她的心中萌芽。

A seed grew in her heart.

她想念巷口的小狗。

She missed the puppies in the neighborhood.

她想念下午茶的時光。

She missed the afternoon tea time.

她想念早晨的遠足。

She missed the morning outings.

她想念家鄉人們的友善，隨時隨地都有人對她伸出援手。

She missed the hand out there for her, whenever and wherever.

在她的心裡，花兒開始綻放，流水潺潺，天也亮了起來。

The flower bloomed, the river flowed and the sun shone in her heart.

她想著捷運列車劃破黑暗，衝入陽光裡的氣勢。

She missed the metro car breaking out of darkness into daylight.

她想著夏天的濕熱空氣和白亮亮的光線。

She missed the sweaty summer air and glowing sunshine.

她想著垃圾車每晚的優美樂聲。

She missed the melodious tune played every evening by the garbage truck.

她想著家鄉話的甜蜜語調。

She missed the sweetness of her mother tongue.

她想念一切遙遠的美好。

She missed all that was away from her.

在一片眼淚和思念當中，小豆莢發現自己變成了人‧‧‧

It was amid the tears and nostalgia that the peapod found herself transformed into a human.

The Loveliest Volcano / 可愛的火山

我寫了一首詩，不是太好，圖也畫得不太好，不過我心情還不錯。

I wrote a so-so poem, accompanied by some mediocre pictures. But I am in a pretty beautiful mood...

I Remember You As You Were in the Last Autumn / 我還記得妳去年秋天的樣子

I Remember You As You Were in the Last Autumn

I remember you as you were in the last autumn.
You wore the grey beret and the still heart.
In your eyes the flames of the twilight fought on.
And the leaves fell in the water of your soul.

Clasping my arms like a climbing plant
the leaves garnered your voice, that was slow and at peace.
Bonfire of awe in which my thirst was burning.
Sweet blue hyacinth twisted over my soul.

I feel your eyes traveling, and the autumn is far off:
Grey beret, voice of a bird, heart like a house
Towards which my deep longing migrated
And my kisses fell, happy as embers.

Sky from a ship, Field from the hills:
Your memory is made of light, of smoke, of a still pond!
Beyond your eyes, farther on, the evenings were blazing.
Dry autumn leaves revolved in your soul.

我還記得妳去年秋天的樣子

我還記得妳去年秋天的樣子；
妳戴著灰色貝雷帽，神情安詳，
夕照的殘紅在妳的眼底徘徊，
落葉紛紛飄向妳的心海。

緊纏著我的雙臂猶如蔓藤，
樹葉沉澱著妳柔緩的嗓音。
我的渴望在熊熊野火中燃燒，
甜蜜的藍色風信花盤據著我的靈魂。

我感到妳的眼神飄離，秋天已遠去：
灰色的貝雷帽、鳥語呢喃，
妳的心房曾令我悠悠神往，
我的吻落下，如火燼般癡狂。

從船隻上仰望天際，從山頂上眺望大地：
妳的回憶是光、是煙、是沉靜的水塘！
霞光灼射在遙不可見的天際，
秋葉凋零，在妳的心田舞起。

翻譯摘自尤克強先生著『預約一季冬雪』，城邦文化出版，2008

前幾週當我不可自拔地沉迷於聶魯達的詩作之際，偶然發現了這首詩，這是詩人寫給年少時愛戀的對象阿貝蒂娜 (Albertina Rosa Azócar)，他們在十六七歲就讀於聖地牙哥師院的法文系時相識，之後聶魯達便展開了長達十多年的愛戀，他為阿貝蒂娜寫下許多情詩、文章和信件，其中包括最有名的「二十首情詩和一首悲歌」，甚至在1927年之後，他去到許多亞洲國家如緬甸、錫蘭、爪哇和新加坡擔任秘密外交特使，他把對阿貝蒂娜的思念寫在明信片、餐巾紙、活頁紙、旅館信紙上，但是內向沉靜的阿貝蒂娜並未回以同等的熱情，於是在1930年，身處異鄉的聶魯達遇見來自荷蘭的瑪莉哈格納 (Mary Antoinette Haagenar)，雖然她是冰山美女，也無法分享聶魯達對詩的喜愛，他們在同年12月結婚，阿貝蒂娜對聶魯達婚事的反應沒有任何記載，不過五年之後她也邁入婚姻，嫁給同為詩人的聖塔馬利亞 (Ángel Cruchaga Santamaría)。一直到多年以後，當聶魯達已經成名，並且找到真愛，他對阿貝蒂娜的感情才化為美好的友誼。

About two weeks ago when I was head over heels in love with Neruda’s poetry, I came across this poem. It was written for his object of affection, Albertina Rosa Azócar in his youth. They met when studying French in Santiago's Pedagogical Institute at the age of 16 or 17. Soon the morose and quiet Albertina sparked passionate flames in the young boy. She was his muse for many lyrical texts and poems for more than 10 years. The most famous ones would be Veinte Poemas de Amor y Une Cancion Desesperada, Twenty Love Poems and a Desperate Song. Even in 1927, after he traveled to countries like Burma, Ceylon, Java and Singapore to work in dark consular positions, he kept writing to Albertina in postcards, hotel letter paper, napkins, loose-leaf pages. She didn’t respond to his love with as much passion. In 1930, he began to form a friendship with Mary Antoinette Haagenar from Holland when transferred to Java. Despite her coldness and lack of interest in poetry, he decided to marry her in December of the same year out of solitude in the remote island. It was not known how Albertina felt about Neruda’s marriage, but she was married to Ángel Cruchaga Santamaría, who was also a poet, five years later. It was many years later when Neruda became well-known and found his true love that he was able to form a serene friendship with Albertina.

聶魯達寫給阿貝蒂娜的情詩和信件一直到聶魯達去世之後，由聖塔馬利亞的姪子偷偷把書信交給出版商，後來經由阿貝蒂娜授權，於1975年公諸於世。

The love poems and letters addressed to Albertina were given by Santamaría’s nephew to the publisher after Neruda’s death. With Albertina’s full authorization, they were published in 1975.

資料來源：尤克強先生著預約一季冬雪，城邦文化出版。

Source of information:
http://www.tiempo21.cu/english/Reading/neruda.htm

我之所以選了這首詩，因為它並未收藏在我所擁有的聶魯達詩集，我是在偶然中發現的，而且也順便讀到背後的故事和聶魯達的愛情故事之一，不過也因為我最近發現了金莎的新產品－巧莎，吃巧克力的藉口就是把包裝紙拿來當作材料。但是這一週的身心狀況都不是很理想，所以做做停停的，有些圖像連我自己都不是很滿意，例如說，如火燼般落下的吻被我弄成很像黑人牙膏的金牙廣告，我自己也不好意思了。

I chose to work on this poem out of many reasons. It is not in my collection of Neruda’s poetry. I found it in an accidental manner. I got to learn about the story behind it and also one of Neruda’s love stories. Another reason is that I was totally addicted to the new product of Ferrero Rocher, called Ferrero Rondroir (dark chocolate flavor), and my excuse of eating it was that I needed the beautiful shiny red-brown wrapping paper. However, I wasn’t in very good shape mentally and physically this week, so I didn’t really fully concentrate on it. I myself find some of the images rather ridiculous. For example, the image of kisses falling like happy embers was turned into a man with golden lips, more for the ad of toothpaste.

但是沒有回報的愛，還能化成感動人心的文字和作品，真的只有藝術家做得到吧！

Well, I guess only artists are capable of transforming unrequited love into moving words and works!

wandering in the rain / 雨中漫遊

今天早上重讀林怡芬的十二味生活設計，大約翻過去之際，又看到有關大阪設計團隊graf的介紹，他們涉足各個領域的設計，最有名的就是和奈良美智合作的A to Z創作計畫，對設計有興趣的人，聽到graf應該不陌生。

This morning I was rereading Twelve Life Design Styles by Ms. Y-fen Lin. When I thumbed through the book, I ran across the introduction on the design team graf from Osaka again. This is a group of designers whose work involves many areas. Their most famous project was the A to Z project with Yoshitomo Nara. The name graf should sound familiar for those who go in for design.

我於是想到，夏天去大阪旅行，其實完全沒有想到要造訪graf的工作室，就在我要離開大阪國際美術館的當兒，偶然瞥見一標牌寫著graf，我便順著零星的人潮走過去，果然就找到這棟在書籍雜誌上經常出現的建築。裡面的空間分為好幾層，二樓是餐廳，其他的展示家具、生活用具，還有展覽館，風格相當地簡單雅緻。

Then it occurred to me that during my summer trip to Osaka, I didn’t plan at all to visit the graf building. However, when I was about to leave the International Art Museum of Osaka, the sign with the direction to graf caught my eye. I thus followed a handful of tourists and ended up in the building whose photos appear often in books and magazines related to design. There are four stories, the second floor a restaurant, while the remaining ones are for exhibiting furniture, tableware and artworks. The style can be defined as simple and graceful.

在一直下雨的星期天裡，回想到意外的旅行，有種很幸運的感覺。

I feel like the luckiest person in recalling the accidental trip on a rainy Sunday…

林怡芬在她的書中，準備了一些問題給受訪的藝術家，這些問題讀起來都挺可愛的，我想應該沒有人會訪問我，我又很想回答這些問題，所以就自問自答好了。

In Y-fen Lin’s book, she prepared some questions for the artists she interviewed. I find them to be quite intriguing. Thinking that no one would ask me these questions, but I have such a strong longing to answer them, I decide to have a self-interview.

Q: 一天的時間大概是怎麼過的？
A: 早上很早起床去上班，其實像是打仗一樣，或者說像是工廠裡忙碌的工人，從一個任務轉到下一個任務，到了下班之後才能放下這些瑣事。下班之後，先喘息一下，其中包括和小方打滾，滾完之後就會坐到工作桌前。如果夠有毅力，晚上得出去散步，讓興奮或勞累的心情平靜下來，要是懶惰，就躲在房間裡跳舞。

Q: How do you spend a day?
A: I wake up early and go to work early. It’s more like fighting in a war, or I am rather a worker that is put to work on the assembly line. I turn from one task to another. I can’t let go of those trivial worries until after work. After going home, I’d take a short break, which includes playing and fooling around with lovely Von. At a certain point, I’ll sit down in front of my art table and begin to work on my art. If I am perseverant enough, I’ll go out for a walk to calm down or cheer up after dinner, depending on my mood that day. If I am slack, I’ll dance like a mad woman in my room that evening.

Q: 假日通常怎麼過的？
A: 週六日會選擇一時段出去做好玩的事，看展覽、看電影、聽音樂會、散步、吃東西，大部分時候也會寫信，剩下的時間就全部丟給畫畫。

Q: How do you spend your weekends?
A: I will go out for something fun on weekends, such as an exhibit, a film, a concert, a walk, or a kind of food. Most of the time, I also write letters. The rest time is all for art.

Q: 喜歡的書是甚麼？
A: 和文學、美術、設計、插畫、旅行相關的書籍。

Q: What kind of books do you read?
A: Books related to literature, art, design, illustrations and traveling.

Q: 工作的時候喜歡聽甚麼音樂？
A: 古典樂、爵士樂、不能太吵鬧的音樂。

Q: What kind of music do you listen to when you are at work?
A: Classical, jazz, non-noisy music.

Q: 喜歡的電影是甚麼？
A: 探討人性各面向的作品。

Q: What kind of movies do you like?
A: Movies that explore human nature and desires.

Q: 你覺得人生重要的事是甚麼？
A: 身體力行。

Q: What do you consider the most important thing in life?
A: Action speaks louder than words.

Q: 當工作上有瓶頸時，會有想去的地方嗎？
A: 書店、戶外、咖啡店、電影院，或者旅行。

Q: When you have an artist’s block, is there any place you’d like to go?
A: bookstores, outdoors, cafes, movie theaters or traveling.

Q: 你喜歡去哪些地方？
A: 能夠讓我看到一點文化特色的地方。

Q: Where do you like to go?
A: Places where I can see something unique and experience cultural differences.

如果你也有想回答的問題，就自己來吧！

If there are questions you find interesting, help yourself!

love sonnet XXXVIII/ 第38號十四行情詩

讀了好幾首聶魯達的詩，也作了插畫之後，我發現他的作品中除了滿滿的意象之外，他很喜歡使用豐富的顏色和各種聲音來建構他詩中的圖面。這首編號38號的十四行情詩就是一首用聲音編織而成的圖畫，讓我邊剪貼時邊幻想，智利的冬天裡，小屋裡因為熱鬧的聲音而溫暖。

After reading and illustrating several poems by Neruda, I find that apart from the brimming visual images in his works, he also resorted to all kinds of sounds and colors to construct his poetic pictures. This poem titled love sonnet XXXVIII, is a perfect example that appeals to the reader’s auditory sense. While I was illustrating for it, I couldn’t help but imagine a house in Chilean winter is warmed by an array of sounds, and thus glows.

後記：最近迷上喝英國茶，剛好把大吉嶺下午茶的茶包當作材料，作為有創意的資源回收。

PS: I have been obsessed with English tea lately, and the bags of Darjeeling afternoon tea were perfect materials for the poem. I saw this as a beautiful coincidence…

MEDIODÍA

Tu casa suena como un tren a mediodía,
Zumban las avispas, cantan las cacerolas,
la cascada enumera los hechos del rocío,
tu risa desarrolla su trino de palmera.

La luz azul del muro conversa con la piedra,
Llega como un pastor silbando un telegrama
y entre las dos higueras de voz verde
Homero sube con zapatos sigilosos.

Sólo aquí la ciudad no tiene voz ni llanto,
Ni sin fin, ni sonatas, ni labios, ni bocina
Sino un discurso de cascada y de leones,

y tú que subes, cantas, corres, caminas, bajas,
plantas, coses, cocinas, clavas, escribes, vuelves,
o te has ido y se sabe que comenzó el invierno.

午後

午後，你的房子有轟隆隆的火車聲，
大黃蜂的嗡嗡聲，砂鍋的鳴唱聲，
水滴的大合奏像瀑布一樣，
你的顫音和棕梠樹的花腔高音不相上下。

牆上蔚藍的光線和石頭喋喋不休，
它隨著哨音而來，就像送電報的牧羊人；
在營火的熊熊火焰和綠叢的聲音之間，
荷馬悄悄地向上攀登。

只有在此，城市能夠痛快地過活，
稍縱即逝，沒有號角聲、說話聲和奏鳴曲，
只有獅子和落水的對話，

同時，你在樓梯間爬上爬下，或走或跑，
唱歌、澆花、縫紉、烹飪、敲敲打打，
寫作、返回，或離去，此刻全世界說：冬天到了。