Guts / 膽量

Company / 陪伴

陪你，也陪自己。

I keep you and myself company.

Before and after / 前世來生

這學期我們讀「最後十四堂星期二的課」，因為知道今世的這一刻孩子們挺苦悶的，我請大家想自己的前世來生，拿小蕙贊助的藝術紙，看他們可以變出什麼有趣的圖面。

This semester we read Tuesdays with Morrie together. Knowing that the girls are having quite a hard time dealing with loads of homework, this week I asked everyone to think about their previous and afterlife. I would like to be inspired by their creativity with the art paper sponsored by Huei.

       本來想邊放英式流行樂，但由於網路不通，我轉放很有個性的匈牙利民謠，不知道是我的錯覺還如何，每次讓大家做手工時，我總是感受教室的氣氛變祥和了。

   I had planned to play British pop, but the Internet connection was off. So we listened to the idiosyncratic Hungarian folk music. It might be my illusion that whenever I make kids do handicrafts, it feels so peaceful and pleasant in the classroom. 

       很多話題用語言直述，多少顯得赤裸裸，用一張圖表達時卻增加了那麼多詩意。

   When we use language to tackle a problem, it feels naked. Yet, with an image, it becomes much more poetic. 

       我的前世是一顆樹，來生是快樂的藝術家，不過這些心願在這一生都找到出口了。

   I was a tree in my previous life, and in my afterlife, I will be a happy artist. Luckily, I think I can be both in my current life. 

       而我這輩子最後會轉型成用美術教英文的老師，不會有考試也不會有功課。

   And in this life I will evolve into an English teacher teaching with the help of art. What's better, there will be neither tests nor homework! 

What were your colors? /原來是什麼顏色？

現在看到新標本的第一個問題是：它原來是什麼顏色？因為烘乾之後的色調和有生命的色調完全不同，所以我對於植物原來的顏色很好奇。華南薯蕷的果實標本有種紅銅色的亮澤感，也是很迷人的，不過生長時淺綠的豆莢也很可愛。

The first question that comes to mind when I see a new herbarium specimen is: What were its colors? The main color themes after plants are dried are very different from those when they were alive. The dried pea pods have a red copper hue, which I admit look very beautiful. But the light green color of the fresh pod is quite lovely too. 

        要回家的路上撿到掉落的第倫桃，又折回標本館詢問，結果前輩們異口同聲地說出第倫桃，如果我的學生學習時也這麼自動自發就好了。接著貴美告訴我有關果實的資訊，據說可以整個煮，但裡面的果肉很少。在這裡只要我展現高度的學習慾望，大家就不斷地和我分享。

   On my way home, I picked an Elephant Apple that had fallen on the ground. Wanting to find out what it is, I returned to the herbarium. It was an amazing sight to hear everyone tell me the name in unison. What if my students were such highly-motivated learners ... Then Guei-mei went on to share more information about the fruit with me. The fruit can be cooked to make jam, but there isn't much flesh inside. I love being in this place because as long as I show interest and desire to learn, my colleagues are too willing to show me the fantastic world of plants. 

        最後貴美為了帶我看十字菩瓜樹，陪我走了一小段路，像是我的植物家教，耳聞這種植物有一陣子，親眼看到特別的葉片造型還是大呼驚奇，造物者的想像力真是無窮無盡。

   In order to show me the three-leaf calabash, Guei mei took a short walk with me. I felt very lucky to have a botany tutor. Though I had heard about the plant for a while, I was surprised to see it in person. The leaf is shaped like a cross, and what's more, it's hard to find in Taiwan. 

        接下來我要好好學習畫植物，讓沒有看過的人也可以第一眼就精準地抓住它們的特色。

   My next task is to learn how to draw plants so that people who have never seen them before can immediately grasp their features. 

Chris Botti

弟弟送我去聽Chris Botti的音樂會，我坐在第三排正中央的位置，Botti帥氣的全身完全收入眼底，還有美麗的小提琴家Caroline Campbell和才華洋溢的黑人女歌手Sy Smith當特別來賓，聽完之後簡直就像在艾佛勒斯峰上看世界，視野都不同了。

Jun treated me to the concert of Chris Botti. Seated in the third row, I was only a few steps away from the handsome musician. Also, we were blessed to have the super beautiful violinist Caroline Campbell and super talented singer Sy Smith. I felt like being in seventh heaven after the concert. 

        以前曾經追過一位法國漫畫家的網誌，很羨慕他在音樂會時可以當場素描，雖然當下我必須全心全意欣賞視覺和聽覺的饗宴，不過回家之後練習畫Chris很多天才上手，因為他實在太帥了，站姿一定也是排演過的吧！

   I used to follow the blog of a French bande dessinee illustrator. I envied him for doing live sketches during concerts. I just had to focus on the fabulous performance, and it took me days afterwards to practice drawing Botti because I did not want to ruin his good looks. I wonder if he rehearsed the standing pose too....

Lipstick / 口紅

中秋節聚餐，大家邊聊著，我邊畫圖，很希望可以借用小叮噹的神力生出一盒彩色筆，想遍了全身上下可以用來著色的工具，還好我有一支口紅，就這樣原本單色的畫面也變得繽紛。

During the Moon Festival reunion, I doodle as everyone else chats over tea. As I lose myself to the act of drawing, I wish I could conjure up a box of colored pens with Doraemon's magic. Wanting to color my sketches badly, I think of my lipstick. It not only livens up my images but also makes my day. 

Subtlety / 微妙

植物標本館建於1929年，裡面來往的人多半是上了年紀的志工，有時候很老很老的教授會來串門子，我趁空閒之際瞄一下四周的環境，這裡連花瓶裡的花也是乾了的標本，如果用色調來形容，這裡的主色調是棕黃、土黃色和咖啡色。

TAI Herbarium was established in 1929, and it is one of the oldest buildings in National Taiwan University. Every day retired volunteers come and go here. From time to time, really old used-to-be professors come for a chat. I glimpse the room before getting down to work. Even decorative flowers in the vase are dried. The main color tones here are withered-leaf yellow, ochre and brown. 

        每拿出一份泛黃報紙包的標本，我會稍微注意年份和當時的新聞，接下來便研究要如何美麗地把乾燥過的植物固定在台紙上，這不禁讓我想到，如果人體可以拿來這樣處理，我會希望自己以好看的姿態供後人研究。前輩們和我提到貼膠帶或縫線時，要注意視覺平衡，而膠帶要順著葉脈貼，原來關於死亡的很多道理和活著是一樣的。

   The yet-to-be-made herbarium specimens are wrapped in old newspapers from different countries. First, I take a quick look at the year when the plant sample was collected, where it came from and the headlines in the papers. Next it takes time to figure out the layout, i.e., how the specimen can be best seen by researchers. This reminds me that if human bodies could be dealt with in a similar way, I'd hope to be beautifully displayed. My experienced colleagues teach me the importance of visual balance when I fix the specimen onto the paper with tape and threads. Also, the tape should be applied parallel to the veins. It turns out that life and death share much in common.

        之前美欽聽我說要去做標本時，以為我是綠手指，我很不好意思地說，曾經放在辦公桌上的盆栽都被我毀得差不多了，她還是送了我一盆香草植物，我把這個禮物當做新的開始，每天認真地照顧它。從標本館回到家，心還被泛黃的氛圍籠罩著，可是一看到植物們無敵的生長速度，突然腦波的頻道從死亡轉到生命，我感到踏實的欣喜。

   When I told Meichien I was learning to make herbarium specimens, she mistook me for a green thumb. I admitted in shame that I had killed all the bonsais on my office desk. Still, she gave me a small bonsai as a gift. I decided it would be a brand-new beginning for me, so I make efforts to take care of it on a daily basis.

   Coming home from the herbarium, I am still obsessed with the thought about death. However,  the visible growth of my plants pulls me back to the reality, and I feel the joy of life rising in me.

        為什麼我喜歡植物？因為連生和死都在微妙之中看似淡淡地、卻深刻地上演。

   Why do I have a thing for plants? Because life and death are played out in seeming subtlety while they can be so overwhelming deep down.

Simple and Sincere / 又單純又真心

37歲了，被問到要什麼生日禮物，我真的是想不出來。只要有孩子陪伴的日子都好。

   I turned 37 today. Asked what I'd like as birthday gifts, I couldn't think of anything I want. I guess as long as I am accompanied by children, my days will be full of light. 

        於是我們一如往常地在書房畫圖、嘻嘻哈哈。

   So as usual we draw and play in the study. 

        一起讀霸王龍的故事讀到三個人都眼眶泛淚。

   We read the dinosaurs' stories until our eyes are brimmed with tears. 

        然後男孩們那麼簡單但深刻的祝福，讓我有預感接下來的一年都會如此美好。

   Then the boys' simple and sincere best wishes make me believe that my following year will be so wonderful as today. 

        就是出外的下午茶會也很簡單，但我們吃得杯盤狼藉，就知道有多盡興。

   Even the birthday afternoon tea party is very low-key. However, see what a lovely time we have had by looking at the almost-empty plates. 

        不論走到哪裡都有孩子的陪伴，我差點要相信自己是孩子王了。

   Wherever I go, I have the fabulous company of children. Well, I come near to believing that I enjoy high popularity among kids. 

        又老了一歲，心境卻像盛開的玫瑰，眼前見到的風景越來越美。

   Though I am one year older, I feel like a rose in bloom inside. What I see in front of my eyes is more and more beautiful. 

The significance of a drawing / 一張圖的意義

我不喜歡一再地引述自己的過去，可是今天發生了兩個動人的故事，讓我想要把舊圖重貼，因為沒有新的圖面可以取代這幾張圖的意義。

I don't like to quote myself, but today there are two stories revolving around two old drawings of mine. No new image can replace them in this post. 

        春天因為某個已經不再重要的動機畫了紐約的布萊恩公園，把圖貼在辦公室的鐵櫃上，常常來找我的Yuri問最後這些圖會去哪裡，於是等到她決定要轉班時，我請她來挑一張圖作為禮物，因為夏天即將去紐約旅行，Yuri挑了這張圖，我請她一定要去布萊恩公園瞧瞧。

   This past spring I did the drawing of the Bryant Park for a reason that no longer matters. Afterward I put it up on my locker in the office. Yuri loved to look at my drawings whenever she came for a chat. At the end of the semester, she asked me where the drawings would eventually go. Since she was going to transfer to a new class, I wanted to give her a drawing as a souvenir. She chose the Bryant Park piece. Knowing that she would visit New York City in summer, I asked her to go for a visit and compare the real Bryant Park and that in my picture. 

        過了一個夏天，看她活蹦亂跳地回來了，給我帶了張卡片和小禮物，上面寫道她把我的圖貼在紐約宿舍的牆上。一邊想著這個女孩的成長，本來早上還和同事說，在一年裡要改變一個人是很難的事，因為連感情都還沒有建立就要說再見，想不到說完這話的幾個小時裡上帝就向我反駁這話的真實性。

   After the summer break, she came back as lively as usual. Today she left a card and a gift on my desk, telling me that she had put up my drawing on the wall in the dorm room. I had told my colleague this morning how difficult it is to change a person's life in a year's time, but Yuri's change contradicts my words. I am not always right. 

        上星期寄了一封信給也轉班的小棒，把這張速寫圖從札記本撕下來送給她，希望她能記住一些事。我常常在寄沒有回音的信，也不覺得有什麼，今天看見小棒時，我淡淡地問她有沒有收到信，小棒回答︰有，你當時畫這張圖，我站在你身邊時就希望你能送給我。她等了這張圖等了八個月，而我知道原來沒有回音的信，其中一種可能的回答。

   Last week I sent a letter to Croc, who would be a new class this year too. I tore off the drawing from my journal book and attached in the letter, hoping that she will remember certain things. I am always sending letters to which I know there will be no responses. I have grown used to that. But today when I saw Croc, I couldn't help asking, "Did you receive my mail?" She replied, "Yes I did. When you were drawing the picture, I was with you, praying that you will give it to me." So she had waited for this picture for eight months. And I got to know one kind of reply I might have to all those unanswered letters. 

        於是我和班上同學們說︰我們要常常歡迎舊同學回來，但一定要提醒他們要交新朋友。後者比前者難多了，把愛的人留在身邊比放開手容易多了，可是放手並不代表失去。

   I then told the girls still in my class: Let's open our arms and welcome the old girls to come back when they need us, but we have to encourage them to make new friends too. Personally the latter is much more difficult than the former. It's way easier to keep those we love by our side than letting them go, but letting go doesn't mean losing them. 

        我不是有名的插畫家，要說有什麼成就只能用零回答，可是我每天每天畫的圖也改變了一些人的人生，最後我也被改變了。

   I am neither an achieved or a famous illustrator, but what I draw every day has come to change some people's lives. In the end, I am changed as well. 

Learning together / 有伴的學習

在寫今天的明信片時突然想到，如果連成年人學習時都需要友朋，那就更別提小孩或少年了，假如我們每天學的新知可以拿來當做寫信或設計問題給某個對話的對象，本來沒有意義或趣味的東西就會有個人的色彩了。想著想著，這個概念又變成上課可以用的練習。

When I am writing the postcard of the day, it occurs to me that if an adult needs company to make learning interesting, companionship will be even more important for children or teenagers. Suppose what we learn every day can be part of the mail in the form of a story or a question to a friend, we will learn it better because we impose personal significance on the knowledge that originally didn't mean a thing to us. I am definitely going to adopt the concept in my classes. 

        今天的報紙上說，十二年國教是令人最沒有幸福感的事之一，最近聽了太多太多雜音，不如先放下所有官僚性的語言，回到最基本的出發點︰學習本身是件快樂的事，如果沒有找回最原始的喜悅感，其他的目標都是白搭。

   I read from the newspaper that the yet-to-come 12-year obligatory education is one of the new policies that makes Taiwanese least happy. As a teacher, I have to admit that lately I've heard too much said, too much repeated. I think we should discard all the bureaucratic stuff and go back to the starting point: Learning itself is a happy thing. If we don't make children feel the joy of learning, then however much we try to give them, it's totally useless and pointless.