Thai for Beginners / 人生學分班

我看了好幾年的泰劇，雖然劇情荒謬到我常難以啟齒和別人說，但是今年春天我終於決定去上泰文課，教課的海倫老師有很特別的理論，口說和書寫班是分開的，她相信不識泰文字也可以說一口流利的泰文，所以我現在有滿腦子的聲音，不過我完全看不懂那些複雜的小蝌蚪。

I had been a fan of Thai lakorns for a few years, but the plots are usually so insane that I found it quite embarrassing to tell others that I have such a "special" hobby. However, I finally decided to take up Thai lessons this past spring. Teacher Helen has her own theory--she believes that not having the writing ability doesn't hamper oral communication, so the conversation class and alphabet class are separate. Now my head is full of all kinds of Thai sounds, but I can't read in Thai at all. 

拖了很久才決定去上課，因為想到之前學過的無數語言，通常到了某個階段就宣告停滯，可是去上之後才又再度意識到我生來就是要學語言的，這幾個月因為泰文課很快樂。課堂上有種很單純喜悅的氛圍，放掉平常生活中的小憂小慮，我只要跟著老師複誦，回到家如果在泰劇裡聽得懂某個字，這樣就開心滿足。

I had my concern which made me put off learning Thai. I couldn't help thinking of the languages I had tried to master. I usually ended up giving them up at a certain point. Yet it didn't occur to me again that I was born to learn languages until I learned Thai. Over the past few months Thai class has made me very happy. In class I can let go of the insignificant worries that obsess me in my everyday life and focus only on memorizing the sounds. And if I happen to hear the words in the lakorn I am watching, I will be as cheerful as a little child. 

剛開始上課時，老師說有問題可以私下問，順便爆料有人已經先問了「我愛你」怎麼說且飛往泰國會情人了，讓我想到丹麥電影「戀愛學分班」，普通的義大利文課卻是學生們生活中的重大寄託，我已經過了學語言和當地人談戀愛的年紀，可是在課上可以感受到旁邊小男生的悸動，大家為了各種理由來上課，雖然我們互不認識，在那一個半小時裡我們融合成一體，下課後又各自散去，多麼沒有負擔的關係。

At the beginning of the term, the teacher reminded us that we could always go to her in private for any question. She then revealed that a student had already asked her how to say "I love you" because of his Thai lover. I recalled the Danish movie Italian for Beginners. The ordinary Italian class plays such an important role in the students' lives. Truth be told, I am way over the age of falling in love with someone who is a native speaker of the language I am learning, but I happen to sit next to the young guy, so I can always feel that sweet air of love in class. Everyone comes to learn Thai for different reasons. Though we don't know one another, we are one huge body during the 1.5 hours. After class, we go in our own directions without feeling attached. How simple...

除了上課的快樂，每次去上泰文課總會在路上遇到認識的友人或好久不見的學生，有些時候的際遇真的令我大呼神奇，所以每週都像是有驚喜的散步之旅。

Besides the joy of being a student, I come across friends or ex-students on my way. Sometimes the experience so dramatic that I am wowed. The walk every week is really full of surprises. 

老師總提到泰國人的生活哲學，不知道我是不是有悟性，現在的我看透了之前想不通的一些事，覺得很輕鬆自在，泰國老師總愛說：kong Thai chob sabai sabai，意思是泰國人喜歡舒服簡單，對啊，人生若是要逆勢而為多辛苦呢！反而是什麼都放開後才發現我和人之間的連結是如此緊密。

The teachers always mention Thai people's life philosophy. I wonder if it's because I am a good student. Now I have seen through some puzzles that I couldn't for a long while, and I feel so peaceful. Our Thai teacher loves to say, kong Thai chob sabai sabai, which means Thai people love the simple and comfy way. Right, how hard it is to go against the flow! It is after I let go that I realize my connection with people is amazingly close. 

Go to the Riverside / 去河邊

岸晴是我多年前的學生，現在是我的同事，她有聽力上的問題，能走到今天，我覺得很了不起。

An-ching (meaning: sunny coast) was my student several years ago, but she is my colleague now. Despite her hearing disabilities, she has made it, which I find really a remarkable achievement. 

平常是她要用心讀我們每個人的語言，在雲林的某一天，我要溜出去速寫的時候，她問我要去哪裡，並且教我手語的說法，我答：去河邊。她也教了我怎麼比這句話，我學了那麼多語言，卻沒想到用手比的語言如此優美，尤其是「河」字，手背呈波浪狀流動。

It's she that endeavors to read our language most of the time. Yet one day in Yunlin when I was about to sneak out for a sketch, she asked me where I was going. Maybe it was because of the lovely day and the relaxing atmosphere. She offered to teach me how to make the hand gesture for the question. I answered, "I am going to the riverside." She also taught me how to say that with my hands. I had learned so many spoken languages, but I didn't know the sign language can be so beautiful. I was particularly in love with the word "river." To do it, you wave your hand with the palm side facing downwards. 

最近我常常因為學生事情做不好而苦惱，但這個女孩提醒我每個人都有自己的路，與其操心，我不如去河邊曬太陽吧！

Lately I've been upset because my students can't meet my expectations. But this girl reminds me again that everyone has their own life journey. Rather than obsess about others, I might as well go to the riverside for some sunshine! 

visual language / 視覺語言

進入十一月，我們開始第二個月的課程，上個月的重點在於繪畫訓練，這個月則是和平面設計組的同學分組合作，過去的週末我們得看各種「羅密歐與茱麗葉」的詮釋版本，做好筆記寫下劇中要討論的主題，今天進畫室討論。

In November, we start our second month's courses. The focus of last month's was training in drawing. This month, we are put into groups with graphic art majors. Last weekend our assignment was to see as many interpretations of the play Romeo and Juliet. We were asked to jot down themes and notes so as to have class discussions today.

有時候我也不懂自己，在某些天我就是無法開口說話，我想到十多年前在美國讀文學，最後老師給我的評語是，如果要走學術研究，得多舉手發言。當了十年的老師，在每個安靜的場合沒話找話說，現在再度當了學生，有時候想當隱形人的心態又上身了，所以明明這就是我應該要說點話的時候，我什麼也講不出來，但身邊的英國同學發言踴躍，大家集思廣益，最後德瑞克生出十個大主題讓每組發揮。

Sometimes I don't understand myself. I can't tell when I don't feel like talking, but that does happen. It occurs to me that when I was studying literature back in the US more than 10 years ago, one of the professors gave me the critique that if I'd like to work in the academic circle, I had to talk more. After having been a teacher for 10 years and saying all kinds of stuff on silent occasions, the desire to be invisible returns. Today I should have said something, but I couldn't. However, the British students around me kept coming up with ideas. In the end, Derek sorted out ten themes for each group to work on.

我們這組得到「語言」的主題，但是上周傑克強烈建議我們不要讀原作，因為原作是用來被演的，所以他希望我們去看電影或漫畫版本，雖然同學茹絲隨身帶著劇本，要在兩個小時之內把語言使用作分析，並且用圖像及視覺語言表達出來，這應該是最難的題目之一。

My group got the topic of "language." But last week Jake strongly advised us not to read the original play because it is meant to be performed. He hoped that we would read comic or watch 3-D interpretations. Though Ruth had the play, it was a challenge to have a good look at the use of the language in the play and summarize it in terms of images and visual language within two hours. I bet this was one of the most difficult topics of all.

團體討論只剩五個人，不說點什麼有點說不過去，我想到全班討論時，德瑞克提到劇中人物很喜歡說表面話，其實話中的意思不盡如此，就跟大家提了玫瑰花的意象，因為視覺語言的重點在於拿一個大家很容易認可的意象去代表某個想法。之後大家各自去圖書館收集更多圖像，但是我們這組對於方向總是有種無法發揮的感覺，所以感到有些沮喪。

It would be too much not to say anything since there were only five people in a group. I thought of one point in our earlier class discussion when Derek mentioned that many characters play on their use of language which actually hides a lot of connotations and symbols. I thus told everyone about the imagery of roses. Visual language is about using a symbol or image that people can identify easily to represent one idea. Afterwards, we went to the library to do more searching online for images. However, we didn't quite figure out our direction, so some of us felt stuck and frustrated.

時間一到，各組把集思廣益的海報貼在牆上一組一組作說明，看了別組內心想要閃躲的想法越來越強烈，聽到哪些人被稱讚就更想躲起來，看到泰緹安娜優秀的手繪就更自慚形穢，人家連看一部「西城故事」都邊把劇中人物的肢體語言用速寫畫下來，我昨晚邊看邊做甩手操，這就是我們之間的差別啊！總之到了我們這組時，已經是最後了，外面天已經黑了，大家都想回家，主持的山姆很簡單地帶過我們的發想，讓每個人說點話，德瑞克做評論一開口便說：我喜歡你的玫瑰意象。這對我來說真是個驚喜，我一整天都不太知道自己的方向，但因為這句話，還有自我檢討，再給我一點時間，我就會適應這樣的討論模式。

When time was up, every group put up their A3 sheets on the wall and gave presentations. After having seen others' works, my inclination to escape got stronger and stronger. Upon hearing people's being complimented, I felt like hiding. Tatiana's super lovely hand-drawn images made me feel so inferior. She actually did the sketches while watching the movie The West Side Story. Last night when watching it, I was doing my hand-shaking exercise. This is the DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US. When it was our turn, we were the last group. The sky was already dark and everyone was eager to go home. Our host Sam gave a very brief introduction and let everyone do their own talking. As soon as Derek gave the feedback, he started by saying, "I like your rose image!" It was a very nice surprise for me because I  felt rather at a loss for a whole day. Because of his words and my self-introspect, I think I'll be used to such forms of discussion and brainstorming soon.

回家的路上我和繪里說，我常常想到現在的生活和父母覺得我應該要過的生活之間的對照，怎麼想都覺得很幸福，之後回頭看，一定就連今天一整天的討論日也會難以忘懷‧‧‧

On my way home I told Elie that I often compare my life at this moment with the life that my parents think I should be leading. From whichever angle, I feel blessed. I believe that in the future when I look back, I will definitely find a long discussion day like today totally unforgettable...

Kai’s talk / 童言童語

楷維的語言能力在將近兩歲時爆炸式地發展，雖然有時候發音怪怪的，但習慣之後我不免感到驚訝，回想他兩個月前只能一次說一兩個單字，現在居然也能響珠砲哇啦哇啦地講話，我把他有趣的思維記錄下來，以便將來回顧。

Kai’s language ability has taken a HUGE leap before he turns two years old. Though sometimes his pronunciation isn’t precise, he never fails to amaze me. It’s hard to imagine that he could utter only one or two words in a sentence two months ago, and now it’s a piece of cake for him to make a long sentence. I would like to record his childlike ideas so that I can look back on these memories in the future.

一、楷維稱呼各式人偶為「妹妹」，舉凡咕咕鐘上面的小人或櫃子裡陳放的組裝機器人，這些東西令他很害怕，也許他看到裡面的甚麼也說不定。

1. Kai calls all kinds of figurines “mei-mei” (meaning younger sisters), including the small figures that come in with the cuckoo clock and my brothers’ hand-assembled toy figures. In fact, he finds them scary. I am thinking maybe he sees something inside them which is invisible to adults…

二、盆栽掉落的花瓣使楷維好奇，自從我教了他「花落了」，他每次走進客廳來一定要複習，我看著他天真地說出這麼滄桑的字語，感覺非常特別。

2. The falling petals from the bonsai aroused Kai’s curiosity. Since I taught him the sentence “The flowers have withered,” he has got into the habit of reviewing it every time he walks into the living room. It feels very special for me to hear such a philosophical statement from a 2-year-old soul.

三、說要打屁屁，楷維很誠懇地翹起屁股說：在這裡。

3. Whenever we threaten Kai with spanking, he will stick out his buttocks saying, “Here they are.”

四、最喜歡車車的楷維也會指揮倒車入庫，看他比著手投入地叫著：再來再來，我想他在會說話之前一定等很久。

4. Kai, a fervent car fan, has also learned to give commands about parking. When seeing him gesture and shout, “Backwards!” I can’t help wondering that he must have waited long before being able to say these words with ease.

Auntie Wan / 汪阿姨

許多人選擇不生小孩的理由是，這個世界太險惡，新世代要面對那麼多前所未見的挑戰是不公平的，我一直都認為活著就充滿無限可能，每個人會找到自己的路，但最近的天災頻繁，進步的科技好像並沒有讓人過更好的生活，我開始認同憂心人士的觀點，新生兒有甚麼義務去承受之前世世代代累積的貪惡和自私呢？

I’ve heard that many people choose not to have children because this world is too sinister and rugged. It is unfair for the newborns to be confronted with so many unprecedented challenges. I had always believed that life itself was full of possibilities, and that everyone would find their way to survive. However, I’ve come to identify with others since large-scale natural calamities occur at such a frequent rate and advanced technology doesn’t actually ensure a better life. It doesn’t make sense for the new generation to bear the negative consequences caused by greed, evil and selfishness of their ancestors.

現在我們再也不能拍胸脯地說，等你長大或幾十年以後這種字眼，安然活著的每一天都是賺到的，隨時都要心存感激。我也知道正在眼前發生的浩劫，但我還是要因為孩子們微小的、瑣碎的進步感到喜悅：小楷的句子字數增加到三四個字了，雖然大家猛教他對我說汪達姨，我在他口中變成了汪阿姨。我離開世界的時候，要帶著是這樣的回憶。

Now we can’t say with assurance words like, “After you grow up,” or “in decades…” Every day when we are still able to go about our daily routines is an extra gift. It is blasphemous to live without a thankful heart. I am so aware of the terrible catastrophe that is playing out right in front of my eyes, but meanwhile I want to be joyful for the kids’ tiny and trivial progress—Kai is capable of saying more than three words in each sentence. Everyone repeats to him how to say “auntie Wanda,” though I turn out to be auntie Wan. When I leave the world, I want to go away with such memories.