Traveling with MY class V / 我和二善的旅行 (五)

親愛的二善 / My Dear Class

保羅德胡說，我原本只是要搭火車，卻遇上了各式各樣的旅客。而我原本只是做我的工作，卻因為二善看到了不一樣的世界。

Paul Theroux said, “I sought trains; I found passengers.” For me, I did my job, but a whole new world has opened up before me because of my current class.

在小木屋的最後一夜，大家圍成一圈，每個人都淚流雨下，沒有哭泣的也開始哽咽，只有我平靜地聆聽。因為我習慣一切都要做好準備，尤其是在眾人面前說話，即使是幾分鐘的感情分享，其實我都事先在腦裡打好草稿，起承轉合，重點表達，缺一不可，正因為如此，我瞭解毫無計畫地對一群人釋放情感，代表對他們有多信任！

On the last night in the wooden cabin, we sat in a big circle, everyone shedding tears unceasingly. Even those who hadn’t wept began to choke with sobs halfway through their talks. I was the only calm participant. I am used to planning ahead, especially when it comes to giving a speech in front of others. Even if it might be an impromptu pep talk, I can’t live without an outline in my head beforehand. I want there to be a decent beginning, main body and conclusion. So I understand how much trust it requires for you to release your feelings without control!

儘管我老是達不到大家感性的要求，可是很不喜歡團體旅行的我，通常只和一個班旅行過一次，這是我們的第二年，我們已經去了兩個地方，不算那些無數次的小出遊，未來的三個月還有兩個大旅行，這樣怎麼能沒有特別的感情呢？一起生活會留下痕跡，痕跡越多，你對我就越特別。

Despite the fact that I couldn’t meet your emotional expectation, I’ve traveled with you much more than with my previous classes. This is our second year, and we have taken two big trips. In the coming three months, we are about to take even bigger journeys. How can I not feel for you? The longer we live together, the more memories we will leave, the more special you are to me.

關於二善，有太多沒有用言語說出的激勵和感動，對你，我是充滿感謝的，托你的福，我有28個看世界的觀點，還有眾多拜訪新世界的機會。

About my current class, I haven’t had a chance to list how you inspired and moved me. With time passing, you’ll get to know. Toward you, I am full of gratitude. Thanks to you, I have twenty-eight perspectives, not to mention numerous opportunities to explore the new worlds.

我自己 / Myself

因為一直被問到為什麼老是哭不出來，我在小木屋的硬地板上，花了一個晚上輾轉難眠想這個問題，我終於想出如何用文字說明白我的哭點。

I didn’t cry when you cried your eyes out. Probably because I took the matter hard, I tossed and turned for a night when I lay on the hard wooden floor in the cabin. At one point, I finally figured out my tear jerkers.

廖鴻基先生說，當鬼頭刀母魚被捕，公魚一直跟著，直到沒有選擇，公魚發出「就送你到這裡」的溫柔眼神時，我會想哭；當momo只認識你兩天，卻真誠地說，我希望姐姐不要走，我會想哭，因為只有很天真的靈魂說得出這麼大的願望；當遊覽車開走時，學校的老管理員一個人的身影伴著兩條狗和我們揮手，我轉過頭和琬真說，他應該也會難過，琬真用著直接有力的語氣說，因為他很寂寞啊！我看到他的樣子會想哭。

The ocean writer Mr. Liao wrote in his essay, the male dolphin fish would follow the trapped female until the last minute. Then before she landed in the fishermen’s net, he would give her a tender look saying, “I’ll have to see you off here.” The imaginative story evoked tears of sadness from me. When Momo spent only two days with you and said that she wished you wouldn’t go away, her pure words touched me because only childlike souls can ask for something so big. When the coach bus was about to leave, the janitor of the school, accompanied only by two dogs, waved hard. I turned to Jane and told her that he would feel bad about our departure too. Jane replied in a very straightforward tone as if I didn’t see the whole picture, “Because he is lonely!” The old man made me feel like crying.

我的哭點是分別的場面，明明很清楚我和任何一個人的生活總會有化成平行線的一天，當下總是忍不住傷心的感覺。所以可以一起生活的時候，我希望我把握每一刻，就算我沒有說話，那和缺席就是不同。

When it’s time to say goodbye, my tears won’t be absent. I know that anyone of you is no more than a passer-by in my life, but I can’t pretend I am not sad at that moment. While we are still together, let’s gather rosebuds and seize the day. Oftentimes I am silent, but it doesn’t mean I am not there.

結論 / Conclusion

去年的分別是男孩哭泣的臉；今年分別的最後一幕是騎腳踏車的女孩揮手之後，頭也不回驕傲地超越遊覽車，好帥氣的告別場面！連田裡的農人在轉彎處也停下手邊工作，揮手致意！那一連串蒙太奇的畫面真是個炫麗的結束。

Last year the ending shot of the trip was a boy’s crying face. This year, the girl on the bicycle waved goodbye and rode forward with such a beautiful proud face. How I love the scene! Even the farmers took a break from work and raised their heads to bid farewell. The montage serves as a perfect period to the trip.

就是要分離，還是讓我們相遇吧！

Though we have to part eventually, let’s be part of each other’s life, even for just a short time.

後記：很巧合地，每次透過鏡頭尋找畫面時，咦姐姐的臉就出現在我面前，而且她非常搶鏡，所以借用了好幾次，於此致謝。

PS: Coincidentally, Lydia appeared in my pictures whenever I took photos. Her face is too photogenic for me to do without. Here I’d like to express my heartfelt thanks…