Winter Outings / 冬日的小旅行

速寫的過程中，小狗湊過來，幼稚園小朋友對我微笑，太太對我微笑，連推著老人的菲傭也笑了。

While I am sketching, curious dogs would come for a look. Kids smile at me, ladies smile at me, even the Indonesian maid that comes for a walk with her old man turns to give me a bright smile as warm as the sun.

Traveling with MY class V / 我和二善的旅行 (五)

親愛的二善 / My Dear Class

保羅德胡說，我原本只是要搭火車，卻遇上了各式各樣的旅客。而我原本只是做我的工作，卻因為二善看到了不一樣的世界。

Paul Theroux said, “I sought trains; I found passengers.” For me, I did my job, but a whole new world has opened up before me because of my current class.

在小木屋的最後一夜，大家圍成一圈，每個人都淚流雨下，沒有哭泣的也開始哽咽，只有我平靜地聆聽。因為我習慣一切都要做好準備，尤其是在眾人面前說話，即使是幾分鐘的感情分享，其實我都事先在腦裡打好草稿，起承轉合，重點表達，缺一不可，正因為如此，我瞭解毫無計畫地對一群人釋放情感，代表對他們有多信任！

On the last night in the wooden cabin, we sat in a big circle, everyone shedding tears unceasingly. Even those who hadn’t wept began to choke with sobs halfway through their talks. I was the only calm participant. I am used to planning ahead, especially when it comes to giving a speech in front of others. Even if it might be an impromptu pep talk, I can’t live without an outline in my head beforehand. I want there to be a decent beginning, main body and conclusion. So I understand how much trust it requires for you to release your feelings without control!

儘管我老是達不到大家感性的要求，可是很不喜歡團體旅行的我，通常只和一個班旅行過一次，這是我們的第二年，我們已經去了兩個地方，不算那些無數次的小出遊，未來的三個月還有兩個大旅行，這樣怎麼能沒有特別的感情呢？一起生活會留下痕跡，痕跡越多，你對我就越特別。

Despite the fact that I couldn’t meet your emotional expectation, I’ve traveled with you much more than with my previous classes. This is our second year, and we have taken two big trips. In the coming three months, we are about to take even bigger journeys. How can I not feel for you? The longer we live together, the more memories we will leave, the more special you are to me.

關於二善，有太多沒有用言語說出的激勵和感動，對你，我是充滿感謝的，托你的福，我有28個看世界的觀點，還有眾多拜訪新世界的機會。

About my current class, I haven’t had a chance to list how you inspired and moved me. With time passing, you’ll get to know. Toward you, I am full of gratitude. Thanks to you, I have twenty-eight perspectives, not to mention numerous opportunities to explore the new worlds.

我自己 / Myself

因為一直被問到為什麼老是哭不出來，我在小木屋的硬地板上，花了一個晚上輾轉難眠想這個問題，我終於想出如何用文字說明白我的哭點。

I didn’t cry when you cried your eyes out. Probably because I took the matter hard, I tossed and turned for a night when I lay on the hard wooden floor in the cabin. At one point, I finally figured out my tear jerkers.

廖鴻基先生說，當鬼頭刀母魚被捕，公魚一直跟著，直到沒有選擇，公魚發出「就送你到這裡」的溫柔眼神時，我會想哭；當momo只認識你兩天，卻真誠地說，我希望姐姐不要走，我會想哭，因為只有很天真的靈魂說得出這麼大的願望；當遊覽車開走時，學校的老管理員一個人的身影伴著兩條狗和我們揮手，我轉過頭和琬真說，他應該也會難過，琬真用著直接有力的語氣說，因為他很寂寞啊！我看到他的樣子會想哭。

The ocean writer Mr. Liao wrote in his essay, the male dolphin fish would follow the trapped female until the last minute. Then before she landed in the fishermen’s net, he would give her a tender look saying, “I’ll have to see you off here.” The imaginative story evoked tears of sadness from me. When Momo spent only two days with you and said that she wished you wouldn’t go away, her pure words touched me because only childlike souls can ask for something so big. When the coach bus was about to leave, the janitor of the school, accompanied only by two dogs, waved hard. I turned to Jane and told her that he would feel bad about our departure too. Jane replied in a very straightforward tone as if I didn’t see the whole picture, “Because he is lonely!” The old man made me feel like crying.

我的哭點是分別的場面，明明很清楚我和任何一個人的生活總會有化成平行線的一天，當下總是忍不住傷心的感覺。所以可以一起生活的時候，我希望我把握每一刻，就算我沒有說話，那和缺席就是不同。

When it’s time to say goodbye, my tears won’t be absent. I know that anyone of you is no more than a passer-by in my life, but I can’t pretend I am not sad at that moment. While we are still together, let’s gather rosebuds and seize the day. Oftentimes I am silent, but it doesn’t mean I am not there.

結論 / Conclusion

去年的分別是男孩哭泣的臉；今年分別的最後一幕是騎腳踏車的女孩揮手之後，頭也不回驕傲地超越遊覽車，好帥氣的告別場面！連田裡的農人在轉彎處也停下手邊工作，揮手致意！那一連串蒙太奇的畫面真是個炫麗的結束。

Last year the ending shot of the trip was a boy’s crying face. This year, the girl on the bicycle waved goodbye and rode forward with such a beautiful proud face. How I love the scene! Even the farmers took a break from work and raised their heads to bid farewell. The montage serves as a perfect period to the trip.

就是要分離，還是讓我們相遇吧！

Though we have to part eventually, let’s be part of each other’s life, even for just a short time.

後記：很巧合地，每次透過鏡頭尋找畫面時，咦姐姐的臉就出現在我面前，而且她非常搶鏡，所以借用了好幾次，於此致謝。

PS: Coincidentally, Lydia appeared in my pictures whenever I took photos. Her face is too photogenic for me to do without. Here I’d like to express my heartfelt thanks…

Traveling with MY class IV / 我和二善的旅行 (四)

同伴 / Travel Companions

季節先生抱著病體出發，卻老是擔心女孩太晚睡、沒吹頭髮會感冒、身邊有為女孩準備的好幾噸糧食，因為易碎，三包泡麵還用紙盒裝起來，我常常偷聽季節先生和女孩的談話，然後我會問自己，為什麼我都沒想到要關心這些細節，季節先生的大嗓門下藏著溫柔的靈魂。

Mr. Season left for Hualien with a cold and a rash, but he cared more about the girls than himself. He worried that they would come down with flu if they went to bed too late without drying their hair. He prepared two kilos of chocolate and well-protected instant noodles. I often eavesdropped Mr. Season’s dialogues with the girls. Afterwards, I would ask myself how come it had never occurred to me to pay attention to these details. Beneath Mr. Season’s thunderous voice dwells a super tender soul.

出發之前，潘蜜拉問，季節太太是怎麼樣的人，我從過去模糊的印象，大約為她勾勒出季節太太的樣子。當她出現在月台上時，季節先生的線條變柔軟，我們感受到兩個人之間的暖流，淡淡地。

Before we embarked on the train, Pamela wondered what kind of person Mrs. Season is. I gave her a quick sketch based on my past knowledge. When she actually appeared on the platform, Mr. Season’s face softened. We felt a warm current flowing between the couple.

雖然我見過季節太太兩次，這次才直接感受她的體貼。季節太太是不加太多鹽的蛋花湯，沒有任何俏麗的包裝，卻令人很窩心，從她大方地分享和季節先生的認識，擔心季節先生感冒更嚴重，連續兩天冒著被先生責備的風險，默默地想要為他舖墊子，深夜不睡等著為女孩吹頭髮，到最後一晚我爬上閣樓，發現我的睡袋已經打開雙臂等著我，季節太太說，我幫你舖好了，季節太太和季節先生有著同樣細膩的神經。

I had met Mrs. Season twice before, but I didn’t get to see how considerate she is until this time. Mrs. Season is like chicken soup. She is far away from the most dazzling star in a group of people, but she has a certain charm that warms my heart. For instance, knowing that Mr. Season would scold her, she still took the risk to lay the mats for him out of the concern that his cold might worsen. She attempted the loving act for two consecutive days, after being caught in the act by him the first time. Also, she waited into midnight with Mr. Season for the girls who took late showers to dry their hair for them. On the last night, when I crawled up to the attic in the dark, my sleeping bag was already there, all ready for me. Mr. and Mrs. Season have the same fine nerves and always put themselves in others’ shoes.

魔羯小姐一直很低調，可是我們談到她和先生相遇之際，她的臉上有著喜悅的美麗。人和人相遇的故事，即使是六十年後再回顧，時間都抹不掉敘述那一刻的光芒。我們談的是我不認識的人，卻讓我看見魔羯小姐的美麗。

Ms. Capricorn is one of the most low-profile colleagues I have had. However, one evening when she mentioned the first encounter with her husband, her face beamed with light. I can’t help thinking, when we look back on our encounters with people even sixty years later, the dust accumulated with time can’t take away our glow. I don’t know Mr. Capricorn personally, but their story reflects Ms. Capricorn’s beauty.

這次旅行裡我找到我的反社會雙人組同伴，我們常常是漂浮的狀態，別人開心照相時，我們就在旁邊的角落塗塗抹抹，可是我們在群體中又有種安心的依靠感，所以當該做一些符合社會期待的事時，我們也能妥協。

On this trip, I found my partner, who is as anti-social as me. We drifted at our own pace, in our own space. When others took self-portraits happily, we would doodle in the corners. However, we felt so comforted and at ease in a crowd. That explains for our silent cooperation when we were demanded to live up to others’ expectations.

這件事不是新聞了，可是我很得意，被我發現最俊帥的小男生居然在一年之後性格有了大改變，去年在大家入睡之後還執意在操場前沉思的男孩，今年臉上洋溢著開心，還在大家面前唱歌，可見人很有潛力和改變空間，是甚麼讓他改變了呢？

Well, this is no big news, but I am too proud to let this go without being noticed. The youngest and cutest guy at school underwent obvious change in personalities, and it was me that declared the discovery in front of everyone. The boy that mused all alone after everyone had gone to sleep last winter wasn’t afraid to sing in front of the public this year. Shouldn’t I believe that everyone has great potential?

I do want to know, what made him change?

法國小姐一開始顯露的是她緊張求好心切的個性，不過到了第三天，她的熱情讓我終於肯面對收睡袋這個非常艱難的任務，有她的協助，我一點都不擔心了。第四天早上，法國小姐起床的第一句話是，我要回家了！我不解地問：你真的是在法國住過五年的人嗎？她說：就是因為住了五年，才知道家的好，現在我再也不要離開家了！

唸法文的不一定都很不食人間煙火！

On the first day, Miss France impressed me as a tense young lady. Yet on the third day, the same intensity moved me. Because of her enthusiasm, I was finally willing to face the challenging task of squeezing the fluffy blanket into the sleeping bag. On the fourth day, the first remark Miss France made when she woke up was, “Hurray, I am going home!” I couldn’t help but ask, “Didn’t you spend five years in Paris?” Going away must be as breezy as a piece of cake for her. She replied, “It’s right because I lived away from home that I want to be nowhere but home now!”

French majors aren’t necessarily adventurous or unworldly souls!

那一天我們在山裡頭用雙腳繞來繞去，小情人和她的情人講著電話，一個在深山裡，一個在城市裡。學期中和小情人說話時，看到的是她緊繃低落的心情，在山裡，小情人輕身細語地安慰著遠方的戀人，感覺是個大大人，有顆寬容的心。

That afternoon when we went on a relaxing hike on the winding roads in the mountains, Miss Love was conversing with her lover on the cell phone. She was in the wild while he was in the city. When I talked to Miss Love during the semester, she was frustrated with work. One month later, away from the crowd, Miss Love whispered loving words to “him” like a mature adult with a big heart.

在天祥的郵筒前有位年紀略長的外國旅人，他反覆地閱讀即將寄出的明信片，我站在他背後，隱隱約約看到密密麻麻的字跡。多希望我是那個收到明信片的人。

In front of the mailbox in Tien-shian stood an elderly foreign traveler. He perused the two postcards about to be sent out repeatedly. Standing behind him, my heart throbbed when I glimpsed at the ant-like words. How I wished I were the one to receive his mail from the mountains.

小黑 / Blackie

山裡頭的狗有情有義，認識才不過一天，我們去探險時，跛腳的小黑和一群同夥表明了要為我們開路，還不時回頭點人數，半路闖入其他狗的領土時，也不後退。連一隻狗都盛情款待城市來的訪客。

The dogs in the mountains are especially friendly. We were merely one-day acquaintances, but on our adventure, Blackie with a lame foot and his jackals volunteered to lead. As a leader, Blackie involuntarily turned back to check if everyone caught up. Upon intruding other dogs’ territories, Blackie barked back at them and even bared his teeth to bite the hostile one. Even a dog showed his hospitality to visitors from the big city.

小朋友 / Children

第一天的晚上吃完飯，我覺得好可愛的周伸權對我說：「好吃吧！」我只有對某件非常引以為傲的事物才能如此和別人分享，希望他這一輩子都不要失去這樣的驕傲。

After dinner on the first evening, the cute little guy said to me, “Isn’t it yummy!” I use that tone only when I want to share with others what I consider precious. I hope he’ll never lose that kind of pride in his whole life.

某天的午餐飯都沒了，momo使力地要把飯鍋上的飯摳下來，台北人走進廚房說，再來點飯吧，為甚麼飯煮得那麼少呢？momo的老師說，你再試試看，那些摳下來的還可以吃‧‧‧

One noon we ran out of rice. Momo spared no effort to collect the remaining rice stuck on the inside of the cooker. The visitors from Taipei walked into the kitchen, asking for more rice. Momo’s teacher said, “If you try harder, you’ll collect a bowl of rice from a seemingly-empty cooker.”

團體裡總有一些獨者，初看之下好像是他們自己的選擇，但是要當獨行俠，需要令人想像不到的勇氣，所以很多時候走上孤獨的路不是出於自願，是因為在團體裡找不到自己的位置。

There are always some loners in a group. At first sight, running away from others appears to be of their own choosing. The truth is, it takes tremendous courage to be a loner. The truth is, those who make such a choice can’t find their own niches in a crowd.

楚林說，他的名字裡有四個木，因為他屬馬，所以需要用木頭綑住他；他的心願是變成老爺爺，可以當老大，這樣就可以用電腦。

Trudy said, his animal zodiac is horse, so his parents gave him a name full of “wood” in meaning to tie him down. His wish is to become the grandpa of the family so that he can use the computer freely.

我問自己，我憑甚麼如此搖擺走入別人的生活，無交換條件接受他們如此坦誠的對待，如果是我，明知道要分離，也會在兩三天之內毫無保留，伸出雙臂擁抱剛認識的朋友嗎？

謝謝你們那些無價的天真。

I ask myself, what rights do I have to walk into others’ life to be treated so sincerely without having to give anything in return? If I knew that we would eventually say goodbye within two or three days, would I hold out my arms for those I’ve just met?

Thank you for your priceless innocence.

Traveling with MY class III / 我和二善的旅行 (三)

西寶國小 / Sibao Elementary School

這兩天重新閱讀雲門舞集到歐洲巡迴演出的記錄，林懷民在葡萄牙辛特拉的佩南宮看到滿地的落花，心有所感，於是創作了「花語」。西寶國小的小木屋教室外也有一片落花，櫻花、梅花，有一日，一位小男孩用樹枝打著梅花樹，花瓣就像下雨，落了一地。

These two days I have been rereading Cloud Gate Dance Group’s performance tour to Europe. Lin Hwai-min was inspired by a vast land of fallen flower petals in Pena Palace, Sintra, Portugal, and thus created Whisper of Flowers. Similar beautiful scenes can be found outside the wooden cabin classrooms in Sibao Elementary School, whether you prefer cherry blossoms or plum flowers. One noon, a boy knocked on the tree branches with a stick. White plum flowers drifted down as if it were raining.

西寶國小還有小菊花、
紅楓、
像布袋戲舞台的司令台、
小朋友手作的陶燒品、
三隻羊、
蛙鳴。

In Sibao Elementary School, you can find marguerite flowers,
red maple trees,
a glove-puppetry-like stage for teachers to talk on,
kids’ handmade pottery works,
three goats,
and frog choir.

太魯閣導覽員黃小姐說：台灣甚麼都亂，甚麼都美。我說，西寶是個例外，不亂但美。

Miss Huang, the tour guide of Taroko Gorge said, Taiwan possesses the beauty of chaos. However, I think Sibao is an exception. It’s not chaotic but very beautiful.

Traveling with MY class II / 我和二善的旅行 (二)

山和海 / Mountains and the Ocean

花蓮是怎麼樣的地方呢？

What kind of place is Hualien?

舉頭就是太平洋，轉身投入太魯閣的懷抱。

Raise your head to see the Pacific Ocean right in front of you. Turn back, and you’ll find yourself embraced by Taroko Gorge.

在山裡的第一個晚上，我們把餐廳充當學堂，請來海洋作家廖鴻基，他說：島國的人民看到海會有本能的反應。這讓我想到，二十出頭離家時，最想念的就是海洋，我不得不想，那些出生在島國、長大於島國，後來離開的人，到內陸國家生活時如何處理這個心理上的需求？

On the first evening in the mountains, we invited the ocean writer Mr. Liao to give a speech in the refectory. He said, for those born on islands, they react spontaneously when faced with the sea. I totally relate to his words because during my year away from home in my early 20s, I missed the sea terribly, inexplicably. I can’t help wondering, how do people born and brought up on an island survive after they move to inland countries?

我們常忘了自己的渺小，當我們過度自我膨脹或放大情緒時，就去海邊吧！

We often forget how tiny we are. When we are blinded by the illusion that we ourselves are the whole world, go to the seaside!

山不說話，卻有專屬的密碼，寫在石頭上，寫在樹上，太魯閣導覽員在短短的一個小時之內最常說：睜大你的眼睛，就睜大你的眼睛看著石頭！我覺得我對於所有細節都應該睜大眼睛看。然後我要像稜珺說的，像這些山，每年增加一點厚度和深度。

Mountains don’t speak, but they have a set of codes written on stones and trees. The tour guide of Taroko Gorge constantly repeated the same words within an hour of tour, “Open your eyes wide. Just stare at the stones!” It occurred to me that I should open my eyes wide to all details. One of my New Year wishes is to gain depths and insight into life, as June suggested.

在西寶村裡，沒有第四台、沒有雜貨店，只有安靜的山，隨著時間遷移，傳送訊息給認真感受的人。即使我有各式各樣的紀錄，卻仍無法包括山中的所有樣貌。

In Sibao Village, there is no cable TV nor grocery store. There are only quiet mountains. They convey various messages with time passing to those who feel with their hearts. Even though I own all kinds of visual records, some moments are too subtle to be put down.

某天傍晚背著包包去學校對面的西寶民宿洗澡，天色已漸暗，空氣中瀰漫著霧和餐廳傳來的菜香，雖然我身處山間的小鎮，卻有家的味道。

One evening I took a short walk to a lodging inn across from the school for the daily shower. The sky had darkened then. The mountains were veiled in mists. The smell of dinner from the cafeteria wafted in the cool air. I was far away from home, but it felt so much like home.

Traveling with MY class I / 我和二善的旅行 (一)

2010年冬，我們去了太魯閣山上海拔900公尺的西寶國小，在小木屋的校舍裡住了三天三夜‧‧‧

Winter 2010—we traveled to Sibao Elementary School located in the mountain area of Taroko Gorge, at an altitude of 900 meters. We spent three days and three nights living in the wooden cabin classrooms…

櫻花 / Cherry Blossoms

好久沒有旅行了，我坐在電腦前看了一個星期的韓劇「市政廳」，女主角家前的一株白色櫻花開得好詩意，讓我居然懷念起當初很唾棄的韓國之旅。想不到搭了一程火車，去到太魯閣山上的西寶國小，教室前就是兩株綻放的櫻花樹，每天我醒來的時候、刷牙的時候、沉思的時候、速寫的時候，從小木屋的窗戶望出去，桃紅色的帶著露珠的花瓣讓我不得不微笑。

I hadn’t traveled for several months. Before the trip, I was practically glued to the computer, carried away by the Korean TV series City Hall. In front of the house of the heroine is a white cherry flower tree in blossom. I even started to miss the trip to Seoul, which actually counts as the most boring journey in my life.

It came as a surprise that with a not-too-long train ride from Taipei to Hualien, I found myself standing under one of the two cherry flower trees in front of the classrooms. Every day when I woke up, brushed my teeth, pondered over life, or doodled, I could always see the magenta blossoms outside the windows.

第二天的櫻花伴著藍天，顏色艷麗到不行；第三天的櫻花在薄紗般的霧中更顯動人，有種令人想要憐惜的美，我每天早上的例行公事之一就是拿著相機捕捉櫻花的姿態。

On the second day, the gorgeous dark pink flowers leaned against the azure sky. On the third day, we were enveloped in poetic mists and drizzles. Dews rolled on the petals. It became one of my morning routines to capture the beauty of cherry flower trees.

去年從西班牙回來之後，Caterina寫來的某封信上說，也許我會如此著迷旅行是因為我還沒學會到自己的心裡旅行，沒錯，這麼美麗的風景在一個下午的車程就可以找到，我的頭卻總是抬得高高的，找著在視線盡頭的美景。今年我要去我的心裡面旅行！

Last year after I traveled back from Spain, Caterina mentioned in one letter that I remind her of her younger self. She used to find traveling indispensable because she hadn’t learned to travel to her inner world. Beautiful scenery can be found so near me, but I’ve always raised my head high, looking for something beyond my sight. This year, I am going to travel to my inner self.

我的心裡應該也有兩株桃紅色的櫻花樹吧！

Maybe I’ll find two magenta cherry flower trees inside me!

Seaside Birthday Party / 海邊的生日宴會

竣 攝影
photo taken by Jun

親愛的媽咪生日快樂！

Happy happy birthday to my dearest mom!

Jan. 1, in Spain / 一月一日於西班牙