Botanical garden, 2007 / 2007的植物園

這學期受到很多人的影響，不喜歡在別人面前畫畫的我，居然興起了想要寫生的念頭，於是上個星期才跑過國立歷史博物館參觀「藝術家的書」展覽，這個週末又忍不住再去一次，我的目的地是博物館裡的忘言軒，狹長的咖啡廳，安靜明亮，就面對著外面的荷花池，是再完美也不過的寫生場地。

So many people have been telling me about the beauty of outdoor sketch this semester. I do not enjoy painting in front of people, but lately I have felt a strong desire to try sketching. Speaking of a perfect venue, the café in National Museum of History came to mind. Actually, I went there no more than a week ago for the exhibition of artists' handmade books. But I couldn't resist the temptation of going there again this weekend. I had my mind set on the long and narrow café on the second floor. It faces the lotus pond, giving people a full view of the lush garden. It is always quiet and well-lit. I can't think of a better place.

最近對於札記本使用成癮，所以我帶著數年前遊紐約的手札，雖然中間間隔了七年的光陰，我卻一點也不介意。炎熱的午後，咖啡館有一半的位置是空著的，不過靠窗的桌子全都有人，我悠閒地東張西望，不久有桌客人準備起身離開，我暗自竊喜地把杯子餐盤移到可以清楚看見荷花的餐桌，我看見的景色有天堂的味道。

As you can tell, I've been addicted to the use of journal books. I dug out the old journal for the trip to New York City seven years ago. I do not mind the long interval between now and then. On the hot Saturday afternoon, half of the tables in the café were empty, but the good seats next to the windows were all occupied. I looked around while having lunch, not in any hurry. Fortunately, a couple stood up, ready to leave. I moved my cup and plates, secretly thanking God for such a heavenly twist of fate.

待我開始作業之後，逐漸地，身旁的聲響像從電視裡傳來，依舊清楚，但是不屬於我的時空，有阿嬤的聊天聲、情侶的呢喃聲、相機的喀嚓聲，直到外面的雷聲轟轟，我才真正被驚醒，下雨了。

When I got down to work, little by little, the sounds around me were still distinct, but they didn't belong to my world, more like those coming from TV. The old ladies chatted calmly about their families, the young lovers whispered, and there were also the crisp digesting sounds of cameras. I was not aroused from sketching until the thunder outside struck. It rained.

為了等待水彩風乾，我翻到前面的頁數，很久沒有讀從前的筆記了，恰好我在七年前的同時，也那樣地著迷紐約的植物園，札記本的前半部盡是有關它的記述，不過我仔細閱讀之後，才又回想起當時的心情，24歲的夏天，我多麼喜歡那個男孩，可是大部分的時候我並不快樂，總是追著他善變的心思跑。我的文字充滿著敏感的情緒，原來七年前的我是這樣。

To wait for the watercolor to dry, I turned to the previous pages. I hadn't read my own writing for many years. It was quite a coincidence that exactly seven years ago, I was also so fascinated with the New York Botanical Garden. The first half of the journal was all about it. I didn't quite remember how I had felt then until I read my words carefully. In the 24th summer in my life, how I liked that guy. But I wasn't happy most of the time. His fickle personalities were worse than unpredictable. My past sensitivity touched me. I thought to myself, so I was like that seven years ago.

雨越下越大，進來躲雨的人越來越多，咖啡館裡的吵雜和外面的雷雨聲成正比擴大，我翻過一頁又一頁的傷感，彷彿那是前世的我，我只模糊地記得當時有這麼一段掙扎，但是細節太陌生，我想不起來。接著我又翻回到已乾的速寫，繼續下一頁的寫生。桌上的盆栽、隔壁桌的客人都歡迎入鏡，若水彩未乾，我就把原本只有靜物的圖面擴大，淋雨的荷花、被大風雨肆虐的荷花、直直落的大顆雨水，窗旁的大樹和綠蔭，等等等等等。畫面若是滿了，就再回到從前，悠遊於過去的字裡行間。

It rained harder. More and more people came in the café to take shelter. The noise grew in proportion to the thunder and lightning out of the windows. I thumbed through pages and pages of sorrow and uncertainty. I read as if it had been about me from the previous life. I did remember that unrequited love affair, but the details were all too unfamiliar. I couldn't think of any. Then I turned back to a new page, starting another sketch. The small bonsai plants on the tables, the people next table were lovely topics. While waiting for the watercolor paints to dry, I would enrich the empty parts of the pages with lotus exposed to the rain, lotus blown by the wind, straight-falling big raindrops, the giant trees and shades, etc. etc. etc. After the pages were filled, I would go back to the past, traveling between my words.

雨勢逐漸緩和，咖啡館躲雨的客人一個個離開，我的身邊風景不斷轉換，從老年夫婦到年輕情侶到單人女子到外籍男子，在文字中我從現在旅行到過去又回到現在，這一切變化中，水彩筆一直在書上舞著。我看起來是一個人，卻也不只一個人。

The rain let up little by little. The guests left one by one. The scenery around me kept changing, from the old couple to the young lovers to a girl to two foreign men. I traveled from the present to the past and back to the present through words. Among all these changes, my brushes kept dancing on the pages. I seemed to be alone, but I was not alone.

接近傍晚，有點累了，我把札記書合起來，兩肩掛著道具，輕鬆自在地邁出忘言軒，短短的週六午後，什麼都見過，卻什麼都不想，腦中唯一盤算的是下一週的速寫課地點。

It was almost the evening time. I felt sort of fatigued. I closed my journal, took up the big bags, and walked out of the café in a very relaxed mood. On the short Saturday afternoon, I saw everything, but there was nothing in my mind. The only question I gave a thought to was where I should have my sketch lesson next week.