Treat me nice / 溫柔地 對待自己

開學的前一天，還是有好多想完成的事，不過，這一切都得放在一邊，先進行一些重要的儀式，放下過去，調整好腳步，明天以後的日子才能走得安穩。

I still have so many goals in my mind on the day before the new semester starts. However, I am aware that there's something bigger: I need to undergo some essential rituals to bid farewell to the past and adjust my pace first. 

前幾天得知了同事佳怡過世的消息，因為我們是類似性格的人，所以我感受到很大的情感衝擊。去了喪禮，悲傷很神奇地被轉換成力量，也讓我再一次正視自己的生活結構，過去的幾個月裡，我給自己很多目標和壓力，明明身體有一些狀況，我卻沒有好好對待自己。感覺佳怡在幫助我提醒自己，要放掉一些東西，要慢慢來。

A few days ago I learned of the tragic news that my colleague Chia-yi passed away earlier this month.  Her death has had a huge impact on me because somehow in her, I saw myself. Surprisingly, her funeral transformed my sadness into strength. More importantly, I am reminded to rethink seriously about my life. In the past months, I've given myself much pressure. Even though my body can't take it, I still dismiss this problem. I feel that Chia-yi is telling me to let go of some things and to take it slow. 

小智的檸檬 / Chi's lemon 

面對新的開始，人事物都換新了，收起舊的札記本之前，翻閱了過去幾個月的記錄，雖然覺得自己過得有點灰頭土臉，但記錄中其實有一些愛的片段，好像是說，美麗的片刻當下不一定是要充滿光亮的。

I am surrounded by new people and new objects at this point of life, but before putting away the old journal, I thumb through the record of the past few months. Apart from frustrations, there are also some moments of love. After all, beautiful moments don't always have to be shiny. 

還是忘不了爸爸在機場揮手的身影 / Dad's waving goodbye in the airport

生活就是走著走著，過度專注小細節，忘了大風景，總是要一再被提醒，要退後一步看。

As we all know, when we focus too much on details, we lose sight of the big picture. We have to be reminded to take a step back and get a perspective constantly. 

沒有答案是正常的。

It's ok that we can't find the answer sometimes. 

的確，最近有些時候心亂，還好運動過後總是會平靜下來。

I do lose that peaceful feeling sometimes, but fortunately, the evening walk always calms me down. 

春天會再來的。

Spring will come again. 

兩個多月前的某一天，佳怡對我說，她發現我的部落格，用坦然的態度開始和我聊生病和生活，雖然只有過這樣的交談，她卻在我的生命裡留下強烈的力道。重新出發之前，我也要在部落格上留下對佳怡的祝福，同時也對自己說：溫柔地對待自己吧！

One day in mid-June, Chia-yi accidentally told me that she found my blog, and then she began to chat with me about life and illness. We didn't have that much interaction, but she has left such a deep impression on me. Before the new semester begins, I want to send my best wishes to her and to myself! 

Sketches of Austria 2 / 奧地利速寫 2

森林‧湖泊

Woods and lakes 

多瑙河河畔‧維也納 / Donau River, Vienna

夏日的多瑙河畔有著維也納最迷人的風景，沿岸是在岸邊戲水、曬太陽的當地人，也有很多人在沿岸的小徑上健走。每次心煩氣躁時只要來到多瑙河畔，看看悠閒的人們，就會想起慢活的美好。

The most fascinating scenery in summery Vienna can be found along the Donau riverbanks. People sunbathe, swim, or hike along the trails. Every time when I feel lost or fidgety, I will retrieve my inner peace there. 

多瑙河河畔‧維也納 / Donau River, Vienna

旅行要結束之前，我又回到同樣的地點畫圖，在這裡我看到了維也納的精髓。

I love the spot so much that before going home, I sketch again in the same place. For me, the place is my definition of Vienna. 

羅保國家公園‧維也納 / the Lobau, Vienna 

這個景點是我本趟旅行最大的亮點！本來我計劃要去羅保國家公園健行，但是因為沒有做好縝密的計劃，雖然最後沒有找到健行路線，卻意外走進裸體做日光浴的湖區。剛開始很驚嚇，我還很認真考慮是不是也該如法泡製，但亞洲人的拘謹讓我只能衣冠整齊地坐在樹林間畫圖。我深深覺得：維也納人真的很包容我。

This place is the highlight of my trip. I planned to go hiking in the Lobau, but I fail to find the hiking trail. However, my lack of sense of direction leads me into this nude sunbathing area. I am really shocked in the beginning, but I do think seriously if I should take my clothing off. In the end, my discreet Asian personalities kill the desire to take such a bold step. I sit there covered from head to toe, thanking Wieners for being so magnanimous with me. 

對我來說，當地人們對待自己身體的態度給了我很多思考的空間，我對待自己的身體彆扭地要命，我到底在害怕些什麼，不過就是一具軀體吧！

Yet, the visit makes me think about the body. People who go nude sunbathing don't have the most beautiful bodies in the world, but they are so ok with being naked. I hope one day I can liberate myself from all the pointless concerns and restraints. 

其實我看到的奧地利人也都中規中矩，所以看到他們裸體日光浴的這一面，我也會想應該要放開一些。今年夏天要是有什麼成長的話，都要謝謝這些人給我的刺激！

As a matter of fact, Austrians, in my eyes, are polite and reserved, so if they don't find nude sunbathing outrageous, I have a good reason to open up too. Well, the trip to the Lobau is probably the most thought-provoking experience this summer. 

維也納大學‧維也納 / Vienna University, Vienna 

哪裡有翠綠的樹蔭，哪裡就有休憩的人們。暑假的大學校園裡很寧靜自在。

Wherever there are lush shades, there are people taking a break under the thick foliage. The university campus during summer break is serene and relaxing. 

市中心草地上 / on the lawn near Volksgarten 

明明這裡就是從地鐵站Volkstheater進入市中心所有景點的入口，我卻能避開觀光客。中午十二點，身邊有很多牽著愛狗來散步的維也納居民和小憩一下的市民。

Often I am amazed that tourists gather in a certain area. Beyond an invisible line, no matter how close, no tourist is seen. This is the lawn near the exit of Volkstheater metro station, which leads to all the major museums and tourist spots right in the center of the city, but I only see the locals coming here either for walking dogs or taking a nap at noon. 

哈修塔特 / Hallstatt

在湖邊的小鎮裡，到處都是觀光客，在喧鬧中找到安靜的角落是我最大的挑戰，不過就是有那麼一種地方，讓我可以畫想畫的風景，也不會晒到太陽，那是湖邊樹蔭下的長凳。

Hallstatt, the renowned town along the lake, is packed with visitors. My toughest challenge is to find a quiet corner as streams of people keep flowing by. However, the miracle does exist. There is always a spot where I can draw without being exposed to the sun--that is the bench under the shade of some trees on the lakeshore. 

哈修塔特 / Hallstatt

畫著畫著，下雨了，我居然可以在雨中撐起傘繼續畫，身邊避雨的人都不吝對我微笑，他們一定覺得我有絕活！ 

As I draw, raindrops start to fall. Surprisingly, I can hold an umbrella and keep sketching in the rain. People taking shelter next to me cannot help smiling at me. I bet they must find me incredible.

不過老實說，第二張圖是雨停了之後又跑回去畫的。

But truth be told, I have to go after it rains for about ten minutes. Actually I go back to draw again after the rain stops. 

哈修塔特 / Hallstatt 

受不了人潮的話，就坐船到小鎮的對岸畫圖，那裡除了搭火車的乘客外，只有嗡嗡的蜜蜂和獨自划船的女人陪我。

When I can't bear the crowds anymore, I take the ferry to the other shore. There, apart from the train passengers, my only companions are the bees and the beautiful lady that rows alone on the lake. 

市集

Market 

格拉茲 / Graz 

出大太陽的日子裡，在市集的角落，畫一早上的圖也不會覺得熱。現在的我最想念那裡緩慢悠閒的生活步調。

In the super sunny morning, I do not feel heat in a shady corner in Kaiser-Josef Markt. Now,  I miss most the slow pace of life there very much. 

動物園

the zoo 

Schönbrunn Zoo, Vienna / 美泉宮動物園‧維也納

我很羨慕這些傢伙，啄啄毛之外就是發呆，真是單純的生活啊！

I envy these kids very much. They do nothing beside preening their feathers. I love the empty look in their eyes as they stare off into the distance. What a simple life! 

Sketches of Austria 1 / 奧地利速寫 1

建築

Buildings

百水公寓‧維也納

Hunderwasser Village in Vienna

剛到新的城市感受到的是迷惘、不知所措的心情，不想跳過知名的觀光景點，卻又因為大群的觀光人潮卻步。

I tend to feel confused and lost when I first arrive in a new city. I am tempted to visit renowned tourist spots, but I fear crowds of tourists. 

百水公寓豐富的色彩和蜿蜒的線條有高第的風格，不過大小只有一個街區。幸好轉個彎完全看不到觀光客，只有當地居民偶爾走過我的面前。

The rich colors and curvy lines of Hunderwasser Village so remind me of Barcelona, but it's only the size of a small block. Fortunately, tourists gather only within the block. I find by accident that around the corner, there are only local residents passing by from time to time as I am sketching. 

雖然用黑白色調很可惜，那卻是我這趟旅行的答案之一。

My paper is pricey watercolor paper, but I feel like using only black and white, which is one of the answers I've got from the trip. 

Ottakring 地鐵站出口‧維也納

Ottakring metro station, Vienna 

在奧地利旅行了十六天，最後幾天有些疲累，不想再去觀光景點朝聖。某天為了健行，來到了Ottakring地鐵站，出口的天橋下有成排的蔬果攤，當地居民來來往往，我的雷達嗅出這是生活的場域，於是在維也納的最後一天，我在橋下坐了半天。

I travel in Austria for sixteen days. During the last few days, I feel that I've had enough of traveling. I come to the conclusion that I shouldn't visit tourist attractions anymore. One day, I discover the community near the Ottakring metro station on my way to the woods. Vegetable and fruit stands line the plaza right outside the station. There, the locals come and go, and my radar tells me that this is the perfect place for sketching. So on the last day of my trip, I spend the whole morning sitting in the shade to draw. 

那天，我感受到陽光陰影的變化、當地人的樣貌、社區的型態，最棒的是當然是和人們交流，我不會說德文，也不想多說話，微笑和謝謝兩個字就足夠了。

That day, I feel the changes of light and shadows, what Austrians are like, and how people live. Best of all, I have the opportunities to interact with others. Though I don't speak German, I find smiles and thank-you are more than enough. 

最後我的眼前出現了一對街頭藝人，唱著混合民俗和現代音樂的歌謠，我聽到要起雞皮疙瘩，心想：這是我可以想到最動人的句點了！

Early in the afternoon, a couple of street performers mark the end of the trip for me with their modern ballads. It's so beautiful that I am totally moved. What a perfect way to say goodbye to Vienna! 

聖沃夫崗

St. Wolfgang 

聖沃夫崗是湖區的度假小鎮，我原本夢想著在湖邊散步和在山裡健行，但是我造訪的那幾天，雨下不停，避雨和避寒成了我的目標。

St. Wolfgang is a holiday resort in the lake areas. I dreamed of taking long walks around the lake and hiking in the hills, but during my visit, it hardly stops raining. I can't help but focus on staying away from the cold and the rain. 

冷得哆唆的時候，在教堂對面的廣場上瞥見屋簷下的長凳，我便胸無大志地坐下來畫圖。畫著畫著，發現其實廣場是各國旅行團會合的地點，所以我的身邊流轉著不同語言。法國團來的時候，一名大叔建議我在上圖的窗戶裡加人，對於當時很寂寞的我，這真是個好主意！我畫了幾個想像的小朋友，渴望出門和我玩，畫了他們之後，心中有種很安慰的感覺。

As I shiver in the cold rain, the long benches on the plaza catch my attention. Sitting there to draw is the best way to kill time. Then I realize it's actually the meeting point of many tourist groups. It's fun that tourists speaking different languages gather near me and sometimes make their own comments on my drawings. For example, one of the French tourists suggests that I add some people inside the windows. I LOVE the idea since I feel quite lonely at that moment. I feel soothed after drawing some imaginary friends who actually desire to come to play with me in the rain. 

接著台灣團的導遊介紹兩張圖中建築的背景，我才發現上圖最左邊的建築是當地非常有名的白馬飯店！

Next come two Taiwanese tourist groups. As the tour guides introduce the buildings, I realize that the building on the left side in the first picture is the most famous hotel in St. Wolfgang: Weissen Rossl! 

我的旅行隨意到隨便的地步，卻有無限驚人的發現！

My trip is casual to such a degree that some people might be shocked, but the truth is, I have numerous amazing discoveries! 

現代美術館俯看城市全景‧薩爾斯堡

bird's-eye view from Museum of Modern Art, Salzburg

薩爾斯堡小而美，不過把整個城市的建築都畫出來（還擠掉了一些），也得花上三個小時。

Salzburg is small yet compact, but it still takes me three hours to attempt to draw all the buildings. (If you look carefully, you'll find I've missed some.) 

畫完的時候，我對自己說：「我沒有對不起這個城市！」

When I finish the sketch, I tell myself, "Now the city can be proud of me!" 

修道院旅館‧薩爾斯堡

Gästehaus im Priesterseminar, Salzburg

旅行到累的時候，就在旅館裡畫圖。旅館裡的小黑貓也寂寞，其實他有很多朋友。

When I would like to take a break from traveling, I sketch in my hotel room. The little black cat is as lonely as me, but the truth is, he has many mysterious friends. 

薩爾察嚇河岸‧薩爾斯堡

along Salzach, Salzburg 

都是在避開觀光景點時才真正認識一個城市。要告別薩爾斯堡的早晨，天氣放晴了，藍天白雲，有溫暖的陽光，我在河岸邊速寫，當地居民或慢跑或騎腳踏車，平靜又美好。

Only when I remember to stay away from tourist attractions do I really get to see a city as it is. The last morning when I am about to leave, the weather finally clears up. I sit and sketch along Salzach as the locals jog or bike by in front of me. What a peaceful end! 

待續‧‧‧‧‧‧

To be continued ...