轉眼間今年就快過一半了，雖然五月發文看似懶散，其實這個月挺多產的，只是很多影像只屬於當下或特定的一個人，我要說的話都沉在時間或某些心裡了。
It dawns on me that this year is almost half over. I seem to have been quite laidback in May, but the truth is that I am pretty prolific this month. It’s just that many images belong only to certain moments or specific people. What I wanted to say had sunk into the river of time or the wells in some hearts.
水彩課照舊，最近和老師再度提到技巧的訓練，過去的這半年，為了補不足之處，我重複著基礎筆觸的練習，和之前純粹只是為情感的表達創作很不相同，老師說，有了技巧可以選擇不用，但沒有技巧就無法完整自我表達，當時我還不甚明白這話中之意。而心境方面，每星期兩小時的畫畫課，記錄著我的起起伏伏，學期剛開始畫了一張圖，任何人都感受到筆觸的浮躁。到了學期中，我試著放掉之前的重筆觸，想要用輕描淡寫的透明重新開始，雖然我自以為心境平緩下來，老師卻說我的內在是跳躍的動態，說好聽則是我仍然充滿生命力，同學說我的心裡住著夏卡爾或是梵谷，可是現在我想要有莫內的圓融和沉穩，於是水彩課不僅是練技術，也讓我思索自己是怎麼樣的人。
Watercolor classes go on as usual. Lately Jim has been discussing the issue of techniques with me again. Over the past few months, trying to make up for what I lack, I have repeated the basic exercise of using brush pens. That is radically different from my past habit of creating mainly for self-expression. Jim mentioned that being equipped with sophisticated techniques, we can choose not to use them, but not having them will make many painting tasks impossible. I didn’t fully get the message in his words then, though.
Mentally, the two-hour lesson every week records my ups and downs. At the beginning of the semester, I painted a picture in which everyone could feel my impatience. By the mid-semester, I tried to let go of my typical heavy brushstrokes, desiring to start anew with a light, transparent style. I believed that I had calmed down inside whereas Jim said he felt the jumps in me. Well, to put it mildly, I am quite full of life. My classmates or colleagues said I have Chagall and Van Gogh in me, but now I long for Monet’s mellowness. It’s fun that watercolor classes not only provide me with opportunities to hone my skills but also reflect what kind of person I am.
這兩個星期在孩子們的畢業紀念冊上大肆作畫，突然那些老師之前教過的撇步在某個早晨冒了出來，我有一種自我滿足的感覺，好像是之前低頭耕耘許久，有一天抬起頭來，眼前的風景都不同了。
In recent weeks I have been doodling in my kids’ yearbooks. Suddenly the skills that Jim had taught popped out of nowhere on a certain morning. I felt self-fulfilled. It’s like I’ve been sowing for eons, and when I raise my head one day, what’s in front of eyes is totally different.
有時候看著別人的人生，會希望自己是Ana，或者是Serge，而今天我覺得當我也真好。
Sometimes when I look at other people’s lives, I’d wish that I were Ana or Serge, but today I feel it’s good to be me.
