After a chaotic week, I've finally received the letter from the publisher Hsin-y. Though it took me nine months to prepare the book The Banana Boy, my work isn't even shortlisted. As a matter of fact, I find it to be rather intriguing after cooling down.
As I don't have much time to lament over my failure, I allowed myself only an evening to get over the feeling of frustration. While I am looking back on what I've learned over the past year, numerous past moments flash into my mind.
First, I recall what Mr. Ko, the lecturer of a picture book class I've started to attend this week, says about SIMPLIFYING everything. I bet one of the problems about The Banana Boy is that there are too many story lines. I then think of my past works which are done in my characteristic simple style. However, I've learned so much over the past year that I want to cram a lot of ideas into the book. This time my story and illustrations are full of too many details.
This morning I can't help thinking of my learning experiences in the UK. Every time when I overworked, I forgot to relax and eventually ended up feeling lost. I still remember my instructor Lou saying to me when going over my pictures: This is not you. Now it feels like the same story is being replayed. I also feel that I want to win so much now that I can't focus on having fun all the time. Then of course I can't relax, and it follows that my lines have lost freshness.
It occurs to me my good works are usually produced before the deadline. Maybe I should learn to be nice to myself in the first place. Instead of further pushing myself, I should let it go!
I feel bad about not being able to make Kai's dream come true for the time being. But I do have a solution, that is, I'll revise or draw a new book for Kai!