Mansfield Park / 曼斯菲爾德莊園

雖然我一直深受時尚插畫吸引，我的畫風卻不是以時尚為特色。要準備珍奧斯汀的「曼斯菲爾德莊園」插畫時，我突然想到時尚插畫是很好的起點，很適合奧斯汀筆下的女性角色。

I've always been into fashion illustration though my style is not fashionable at all. It occurred to me that fashion illustration would be a superb starting point when I was about to prepare the illustrations for Jane Austen's Mansfield Park because her ladies feel beautiful and want to be beautiful. 

        畫著畫著是很開心，不過這些模特兒非常有姿態，不僅身形美，眼神也都有故事。

     I had much fun drawing the models in the fashion magazine. They not only look beautiful but also make me curious about them. Their eyes tell stories. 

        她們寫字看書的樣子也好帥氣，就算和女主角范妮天差地遠，但我還是很高興可以做新的嘗試。

     I focused particularly on how women read and write. However, these models appear to be very confident of themselves. They are worlds apart from the protagonist Fanny, but it was still nice for me to take a new try. 

        這本小說到底在說什麼呢？簡單地說，就是乖女孩范妮從小寄住在有錢的阿姨和姨丈家，和乖男孩表哥艾德蒙青梅竹馬，不過長大之後因為新的角色出現在莊園裡，艾德蒙愛上了勢利女瑪麗，而瑪麗的風流男哥哥亨利則受到范妮的吸引，范妮看著自己深愛的艾德蒙被愛蒙敝，還要一邊抵擋亨利的猛烈追求，還好她的堅忍不拔最後換來艾德蒙的愛。

     What is the novel about? Simply put, the good girl Fanny was sent to Mansfield Park to live with her rich aunt and uncle when she was little. She grew up together with her gentle cousin Edmund. With the arrival of the new characters, her life began to change. Edmund fell in love with the beautiful but snobbish girl Mary Crawford while her player brother fell for the charm of innocent Fanny, who had to suffer silently from seeing her beloved Edmund blindfolded by love and make every attempt to resist Henry in the meanwhile. Luckily, her virtue and perseverance finally won Edmund's heart. 

        插畫比賽除了三張內頁插圖以外，還要設計封面，而且規格有嚴格的規定，其實剛開始我並不確定自己做得出來，不過我不想就這麼放棄，很幸運地友人幫了我一把，讓我可以達到目標。

     Besides the three illustrations for the story, every contestant was required to design the cover as well and meet some specific rules. In fact, I wasn't sure if I could make it, but I didn't feel like giving up either. I was blessed with Alex's help so that I could reach my goal. 

        范妮是內向壓抑的角色，在珍奧斯汀的作品中是較沒自信的女主角，不過我覺得自己很像她。

     Fanny is an introverted and repressed role. She is probably the least confident heroine in Austen's books, but I can relate to her because I see much similarity between her and me. 

        與其把重點放在她和其他角色的互動，不如把舞台都給她吧！她的慰藉除了艾德蒙外，就是書和花草，還有自己的書房。

     Instead of placing emphasis on her interaction with the other characters, I prefer to feature her only in my illustrations. Apart from Edmund, she took solace in books, plants, and her personal space, the East room. 

        像書裡說的，就算是快樂，范妮也安安靜靜地感受。

     As is said in the book, Fanny feels ecstasy in a quiet way. 

        做完插畫的那一晚，想到五年前在英國讀書的時候，急著想用自己以外的風格畫圖，老師問：你為什麼不用自己的風格呢？五年過去了，我終於可以用自己的風格，不論結果如何，我都感到欣喜，因為我嘗試了之前做不到的事。

     On the day when I finished the illustrations, I thought of the winter five years ago when I was studying in London. I was eager to borrow others' styles, so my tutor couldn't help asking, "Why didn't you use your own style?" Five years have gone by, and I am proud to be me when drawing. Whatever the outcome is, I am joyful all the same because I achieved what I couldn't in the past. 

One thing to thank for a day / 感恩事項

知道House of Illustration和出版社Folio Society舉辦的經典書插畫比賽好幾年了，不過總覺得之前的書目很不適合我，今年開的是珍奧斯汀的曼斯菲爾德莊園，因為高中的時候很迷讀珍奧斯汀的原文書，所以不管怎樣，今年都要試試看。

I've known the illustration competition held by House of Illustration and Folio Society for years. However, I'd always felt that the books weren't quite suitable for me. This year the book is Jane Austen's Mansfield Park. Since I was very much into reading Austen's books in high school, I have a strong desire to try illustrating for the book no matter what. 

        插畫就如同很多事一樣，可以令人又苦惱又快樂，一方面因為有目標而開心，一方面卻因為不確定，於是對自己產生許多懷疑。

     Illustration, like many things, can be upsetting and pleasing at the same time. On the one hand, I am uplifted because of the goal, but on the other hand, I have to deal with my inner doubts since I am not sure of myself. 

        就在好幾種情緒的擺盪之間，我看到了誠悅把每天要感恩的事項寫出來，那麼這個週末我要感謝這兩瓶美麗的墨水，幫我找到了出路。

     As I fluctuate between these opposite emotions, I read Yueh's FB page on which she listed one thing to thank for every day. In my case, I'd like to thank for the two beautiful bottles of ink, which help me find the way. 

        當然，不論如何，更要謝謝珍奧斯汀，我因此發現為她作插畫的藝術家還真多呢！ 

     Last but not least, I have to thank Jane Austen. In fact, I've found tons of illustrators for her works! 

Stone Soup study club 9 / 石頭湯讀書會之九

石頭湯讀書會第九課講者：蔡幸珍老師，主題是導讀大陸作家沈石溪所寫的「狼王夢」，這是一本探討虎媽式教育的小說，融合作者對於動物心理的了解，雖然在場的大人只有一人讀過這本書，但光聽介紹便使人著迷。

The speaker of the ninth Stone Soup study club is Ms. Tsai. The topic is on the novel Dream of Being the Wolf King written by the Chinese author Mr. Sheng. This is a book that discusses the tiger mom style of education. Being an expert in animal psychology, the author depicts the story in such a fascinating way that merely by listening to the plots interests us all. 

        更重要的是，老師用全副心力說故事，當天我精神相當委靡，但是聽著老師描述分析故事，我也跟著走進狼群的世界當中。我用生命所有的力氣說故事嗎？這是我要自問的問題。

More importantly, Ms. Tsai tells the story with her whole being. I am not especially upbeat that morning, but she cheers me up and leads me into the world of the book with her vivid description verbally and physically. "Do I also tell stories with all my might?" This is a question I should constantly ask myself. 

The most terrifying thing / 最可怕的事

這個學期我們讀「八號出口的猩猩」，書中的猩猩艾文喜歡畫畫，有一天畫了十根香蕉，不知爲什麼，我對這個作業相當嚮往，回家之後不停地畫香蕉，已經畫了三天停不下來。

This semester we read The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate. The protagonist Ivan, a silverback kept in a mall, loves to draw. One day he draws ten bananas. For unknown reasons, I am obsessed with this. I've been binge-drawing bananas for three days on end. 

        記憶和想像畫法畫完之後，我又嘗試觀察畫法。果然記憶和事實出入很大！

   After trying remembered drawing and imagined drawing, I can't resist observational drawing. It strikes me that there lies a huge gap between my memory and the reality!

        上週還以為我失去想像和畫畫的能力了，還好我把這個超能力救回來。

   Last week I once thought I had lost the ability to draw and imagine. Luckily, I nurtured it and had it back. 

        對我來說，這世界最可怕的事是過著完全沒有想像力的生活！

   For me, the most terrifying thing in the world is to live a life WITHOUT any imagination! 

第二部 / Part II

我的香蕉怪獸！

My banana monster! 

Twins! / 雙胞胎！

Before and after / 前世來生

這學期我們讀「最後十四堂星期二的課」，因為知道今世的這一刻孩子們挺苦悶的，我請大家想自己的前世來生，拿小蕙贊助的藝術紙，看他們可以變出什麼有趣的圖面。

This semester we read Tuesdays with Morrie together. Knowing that the girls are having quite a hard time dealing with loads of homework, this week I asked everyone to think about their previous and afterlife. I would like to be inspired by their creativity with the art paper sponsored by Huei.

       本來想邊放英式流行樂，但由於網路不通，我轉放很有個性的匈牙利民謠，不知道是我的錯覺還如何，每次讓大家做手工時，我總是感受教室的氣氛變祥和了。

   I had planned to play British pop, but the Internet connection was off. So we listened to the idiosyncratic Hungarian folk music. It might be my illusion that whenever I make kids do handicrafts, it feels so peaceful and pleasant in the classroom. 

       很多話題用語言直述，多少顯得赤裸裸，用一張圖表達時卻增加了那麼多詩意。

   When we use language to tackle a problem, it feels naked. Yet, with an image, it becomes much more poetic. 

       我的前世是一顆樹，來生是快樂的藝術家，不過這些心願在這一生都找到出口了。

   I was a tree in my previous life, and in my afterlife, I will be a happy artist. Luckily, I think I can be both in my current life. 

       而我這輩子最後會轉型成用美術教英文的老師，不會有考試也不會有功課。

   And in this life I will evolve into an English teacher teaching with the help of art. What's better, there will be neither tests nor homework! 

I am not discouraged. / 我不沮喪。

暑假裡唯一的課程業務就是上重修班，想到要把上學期的內容再重複一次，我想最後記得最熟的總是我，於是我決定來上暑期讀本，是有關安地斯山印地安人的故事，雖然我個人覺得這是一本很好看的書，但我可以預期已經打開這本書的人寥寥可數。

The only classes I am assigned during the summer break are those given to the girls who flunked their English. My head aches when it occurs to me that I have to repeat what I said during the past semester one more time. I figure it will be much more pleasant to read the summer reading novel--Secret of the Andes. Personally I find it an excellent book, but since I know my students well, I can predict that only a handful of kids have started to read it. 

        天真的孩子們以為我會一句一句講解，我是不可能讓大家這麼舒服的，學習語言若沒有對閱讀有點熱情，並且腳踏實地閱讀，就不可能進步。雖然這些同學在英文上是有點問題，但我很樂觀，我把大家分組，一起做閱讀的工作。

   The girls might be too innocent to know that it's not my thing to explain the story sentence by sentence. My belief is that it's impossible to learn a language well without doing any reading. I trust them though they are not good at English. I put them into groups to do the reading together. 

        我的學生或許不是最聰明，不過有被琢磨的潛能，花了幾乎六個小時，每一組都把分配的章節大意寫出來。

   My students might not be the smartest, but they are willing to be trained. Each group comes with their summary of the chapter assigned after six hours of hard work. 

        這個課程中我最期待的部份就是讓女孩們挑喜歡的佳句畫插圖，我把過去幾天的筆記紙搬出來，我說：讓我們用壓克力把這些討厭的英文全部塗掉！有趣的是，雖然脖子扭到很痛，從頭到尾我又叫又跳的，很像托兒所老師，不過下面的學生沒有幼兒的熱情，她們從頭到尾只是安靜地任我擺佈。

   And what I am most looking forward to is the part where the girls have to pick their favorite quotes and illustrate them. I take out the notes they have made over the past few days and yell like a madwoman: Let's erase all the detestable English words with acrylics! In fact, I have had a neck cramp, but I can't help jumping and shouting in excitement. I feel like a kindergarten teacher; the only difference is that my students don't have the passion of children. Throughout the process, they act as if they were my quiet puppets. 

        七月上完幼兒班之後心裡有些難過，為什麼過了十年之後，那些會畫畫的本能全都不見，大家會的就是不斷地滑手機，就是因為這個疑問，讓我想要把畫圖的實驗應用到高中生身上，小說裡的文字敘述的是無限的畫面，而我們每個人都有與生俱來的想像力，應該只是我們把這個能力藏起來罷了。

   After the summer camp for children in July, I have had a hard time trying to figure out something: How come our instincts to draw disappear with time passing? The five-year-olds, who can draw freely and wildly, turn out to be teenagers who are into nothing but staring at their cell phones in ten years. Because of this, I'd like to apply to the same teaching plan to the teenagers. The novel is so full of images. I believe that we all have imagination, and thus we can envision the pictures in our heads.  

        討論小說期間為了讓同學能夠想像險峻的安地斯山風景，我問二十多個人有否去過太魯閣，居然只有五個人去過，這也許不能全說是爸爸媽媽的問題，我於是說：你快要可以自立了，至少上大學前要去看一下這麼美麗的自然資產！

   While we are discussing the novel, I try to give the girls an image of the Andes by asking if they have been to the Taroko Gorge. Surprisingly, only 5 out of 22 have been there. Well, maybe I can't say the parents have to be all responsible for this, so I give a very sincere piece of advice: You are about to be 18. I think you can go on your own soon, and you shouldn't miss such beautiful natural assets! 

        這是最容易畫的佳句，到了十幾歲大家對於「不會」的東西很沒有安全感。

   This is the easiest quote to illustrate. It interests me that we feel unsafe about what we don't know as we age.

        這本書的主角之一是美洲駝，書中形容牠的叫聲是風和水的音樂，像風撫過水面。

   The llamas play an important role in the book. Llama-humming is described as wind-and-water music, like wind rippling over the water. 

        我的教書生涯要進入第十二年了，感覺卻像才正要開始，外在的環境越來越糟，但是我可以走我自己的路，儘管我的熱誠總是比學生多，但過了這個暑假，我又有了新的展望，我想我一定可以造成一點小小的不同。

   I am about to start my 12th year as a teacher, but in many ways it feels I've just begun. The outer environment is getting less and less ideal, but amidst all the chaos, I think I can always stand my own ground. It was discouraging to think that I always have a bigger dose of enthusiasm than my students, but after this summer, I have gained a new perspective. I so firmly believe that I can make a difference, no matter how small it is. 

It is ... / 離不開

上週書商拿了一些青少年小說到辦公室，好心的同事把我們的書也放進紙箱裡，看起來還真像一回事。

Last week the salesperson from a bookstore loaned us some teenage novels. My kind-hearted colleague put our book together in the paper box. I have to say ours looks quite professional when placed next to these really well-written works. 

說好了要離開十六歲，卻離不開，因為和一群小朋友一起長大是一件很美好的事。

I find it hard to put aside the age 16 because it's a very lovely thing to grow up with a bunch of kids.