traces / 痕跡

生命裡的每個過客，就算和我們只有短短的交會，都會在我們身上留下痕跡‧‧‧

Every passer-by in our life, despite the short stay, will leave traces in us in one way or another...

re-definition of the norm / 常態，重新定義

人和人之間的關係，存在著微妙的平衡，一旦碰觸到彼此的死穴，大戰就會爆發。我的死穴就是害怕大戰爆發，所以我會隱忍著，但是我並不舒服，有一天我還是得面對內心的掙扎，接受衝突就是人生的一部分。

There is a subtle balance in our relationships with others. Once our Achille's heels are stabbed, a world war will break out. My Achille's heel is fear for the outbreak of the war. For that sake, I hold back all my negative feeling, but I do not feel comfy. Deep in me, I know one day I'll still have to face the reality and accept conflicts as part of life.

知你如我，卻被我們之間的近距離蒙蔽了，但是，我不會再讓步，就算我得一輩子生活在衝突之中‧‧‧

You should know me more than anyone else, but you are so blinded by the lack of distance between us. However, this time, I won't give in, even if I have to spend all my life living in endless conflicts.

the best moments / 最好的時光

畫畫對我而言，原本是件很私密的嗜好，不過自從這個可愛的小子誕生，而且長大到可以理解我在做甚麼，我原本安靜的世界就變得熱鬧無比。

Painting, for me, was a very private activity. However, after the birth of this adorable baby, my originally quiet world has become merrily noisy, especially now when he is old and curious enough to join me.

於是「畫畫」成為小方認識的前幾名動詞之一，我並沒有很認真地對他講解整個流程，不過他居然偷偷學起來，還一副有模有樣呢！

Thus, "painting" is one of the first verbs in Von's limited vocabulary. To be honest, I have never explained to him "how" to paint, but he is always there observing me and learns everything by heart!

小方興致來時，便拉著我嚷嚷「畫畫」，當我說：來吧！他會全身扭動地衝進我懷裡，然後我們就又笑又鬧地開始我們的作畫時光。

When Von is in the mood, he will tug at me, crying, "Paint, paint!" As I say, "Come on!," he rushes into my arms, shaking and dancing all the way. Then we will start our happier-than-ever art class.

如果在小方往後漫長的人生裡，還記得小時候這般愉快的回憶，就算將來只是個平凡人，他的快樂一定會讓他在悲傷的人群裡閃閃發光。

If, in Von's long life to come, he still remembers the wonderful moments in his childhood, then even as an ordinary person, his happiness will make him shine in a crowd of sad people.

driving log / 上路手札

在駕照過期數年之後，我又再度回到路上，說實在，我對於速度並不能感到任何快感，其實是有些驚恐，不過想到很多有關將來的考量，還是硬著頭皮上路去。我盯著俐落的儀表板，試著說服自己，駕駛的技術一定能讓我的生活便利性更灑落，但是我的決心在無意間走上單向道、而且幾乎就要擦撞到名貴的賓士時，化成一攤水。

Years after the expiration of my driver's license, I am back on the road again. Well, the truth is, I am not at all excited about speed. On the contrary, "fright" is how I feel about it. Still, I muster up the little courage I have, taking into account many factors, especially those concerning the unknown future. I stare at the neatly designed dashboard, attempting to convince myself that the ability to drive will lead to a better life. However, my determination melts when I find myself on a one-lane road, about to hit an expensive Benz, or in other similar situations.

世界上應該沒有教練能忍受我這種少數根筋的駕駛，但是認命的John發揮他積極樂觀的精神，在我想偷懶的時候，忽視我想逃避的慾望，認真地設計課程、不厭其煩地講解、碎碎唸的時候還被瘋狂的駕駛頂回去，過了而立之年，還有和父親單獨相處的機會，再可貴不過，而且每次都有意料外的小插曲，我們的路上時光就是兩人的冒險故事集。

There wouldn't be any coach who can tolerate such a daydreaming driver like me. Yet, John never fails to look on the bright side. Whenever laziness gets hold of me, John'd always ignore my desire to run away. Instead, he prepares lessons for every weekend, explains traffic rules again and again. When he grumbles, he would be shouted at by the crazy driver. It's actually a rare opportunity to spend time with one's father past the age of thirty. There are always unexpected stories awaiting us on the roads, so our driving log is full of adventures belonging to us two.

可惜的是，我們戴著小丑帽的教練車就在我要大顯身手倒車入庫之際，決定漏油罷工，於是我們在炙熱的豔陽下，空曠的路邊試圖把車修好，最後，深怕同樣的事件發生在高架橋上，我們落寞地留下車，搭計程車離開。原本John對我恐怖的停車技術還無奈地抱怨，不過因為我們共同經歷了戲劇化的情節，回程上我們心有靈犀地保持沉默。

Sadly, while I was about to back our car with two clown hats on the front for parking, it decided to go on a strike by leaking oil. We tried to fix the car under the hot sun at the empty roadside. At last, in case that the same incident might happen on the viaduct, we left in a taxi with our Cefiro there on the spot. One moment ago, John couldn't help sigh and complain about my parking skills. Nonetheless, because of our dramatic experience, we remained silent, glad that we had been there for each other.

不管我有沒有成功，起碼我知道，不會再有人更愛我了。

Whether I make it or not in the end, at least I've been reminded again--no one loves me more than John.

looks of love / 愛的樣子

我的愛裡，只有玫瑰花和美好的生活，年輕如你，卻已熟知愛的不同面貌，可能是看似囉嗦的細心叮嚀，也許是為了聆聽的沉默寡言，因為你看到愛的各種面相，所以那些人性的缺點也不能矇蔽你清明的視野。

I see only la rose + la vie en rose in my so-called love. Despite your tender age, you have known the looks of love inside out. It might be seemingly annoying acts of constant reminders, or it might be intended silence as a listener. Because you are so familiar with the various forms of love, those human flaws can't blind your clear vision.

於是，在你大大的心裡頭，連年長的我也顯得小小的。

Thus, in your "big" heart, even I, the older one, appear to be rather "small."

growing up / 長大

這個年紀的你，等不及要長大了！

You, at this age, can't wait to grow up!

supporting roles / 配角

這個星期在城市裡晃來晃去的，發現沒有一個地方看不到台北101，和它有點距離時，覺得它當作照片裡的配角，襯托主要的景色還算稱職，但是當我就站在它腳底下，突然不知所措，看不出來它有當主角的魅力。

On my promenades around the city this week, I found Taipei 101 is never absent from every photo of the cityscape. When I kept some distance from it, the skyscraper could be a decent supporting role in highlighting the main scenery. But when I was right next to it, I was at a loss. I couldn't see its potential in being a lead role.

但是台北市裡外的空地越來越少，兩年前還是空曠的地帶，今日走過已高樓林立。在一座充滿著配角的城市裡，連小鳥也沒有棲身之地，照片裡將會只有沒有個性的建築。

But there is less and less available land inside and outside Taipei City. The areas that were empty two years ago are filled with tall buildings today. In a city crowded with supporting roles, even birds will have no resting point, not to mention photos with only tedious, lifeless architecture.

before the rehearsal / 上台之前

很多事情，用旁觀者的角度，一切都顯得輕盈，甚至是好玩的。今天抱著義工的心情，下海擔任化妝師，雖然不是很稱職，不過一邊畫一邊想著，和畫在紙上沒甚麼差嘛！

As an on-looker, many things do not seem so unpleasant anymore. Instead, I have the light pace, which only belongs to an outsider. Today, I was assigned the task of being a cosmetician for the video-taping of the drama contest. I don't think of myself as capable, but as I went along, it occurred to me that this was really no different from painting!

最近讀了文溫德斯的「一次」攝影集，他的作品顛覆了我對照片的想法，我原本認為每張相片都代表著回不去的時空，溫德斯的照片裡訴說著各式各樣的故事，因為太有感情了，所以反倒活出生命，流溢到每個觀者的當下。在他的電影背後，累積著旅行於各地的靈感，看似平凡的畫面，在他的相機下也變成有趣的故事。大概是因為這樣，我覺得今天的舞台下處處都是可以捕捉的畫面。

I've been reading Einmal, a collection of photos, by Wim Wenders. His works totally overthrew my fixed idea of photography. I used to think every picture represented the past time and space that no one could return to. However, Wenders' images narrate all sorts of stories. They are so full of emotion that they break free of the frame and flow to every reader's present moment. Behind his movies are accumulated the inspirations collected on his trips around the world. A scene that seems boring at first sight is turned into an intriguing one through his eye. Because of him, this morning I had the feeling that every moment off the stage was worth capturing.

Only if you believe / 心誠則靈

最近對於自己的隨性真是越來越不能預測了，本來是秉持出遊速寫的初衷，可能在某次的小旅行裡，因為意志力崩解，再加上景色比較適合用相機記錄，於是我就從速寫初學班自動轉到攝影班，但是不管是哪一者，我都希望我的畫面中有一些動人的情緒，是透過我的眼睛才看得到的景色。

Lately I have been outwitted by my wilfulness. In the beginning, I stuck firmly to the determination of going on outings for sketching. However, on a certain short trip, my resolution fell apart, and the beauty of the scenery seemed to be made only for the camera. So I transferred from the beginning class of sketch to that of photography. In fact, the media do not bother me so much. Rather, I hope any of them can help me to capture the feelings that run through my objects and present the images that can only be seen through my eyes.

不過反過來想想，對拍黑白照上癮似乎是有跡可循的，前一陣子找到讓我心醉神迷的巴黎黑白照，日本片「村之寫真集」中堅持拍黑白照的年邁攝影師，希望收到黑白明信片的筆友，還有更多之前的小細節，最後就在這個春天形成我的發展路徑。黑白照裡，去掉了令人分心的色彩，因此原本細膩的情感，比較容易被烘托。

On the other hand, my preference for taking black and white photos at this moment can be traced back to a while ago. For example, I found tons of postcards of Paris in black and white by chance. Also, the old photographer in the Japanese film The Village Album, who insisted on taking black and white photos, must have some influence on me. Last but not the least, I ran across a Finnish pal online who'd like to receive postcards in black and white. There are actually more details from last fall. Eventually, they shaped my artistic course this spring. In black and white photos, distracting colors are taken away, so originally delicate and fine emotion can be highlighted.

雖然我自以為是地說著，好像這是我永久的道路，誰知會不會明天又找到新方向，連我自己也不敢保證。但是我還蠻享受這樣的隨性，變化的沿途可以看到不同的風景啊！

Come to think of it, I really shouldn't be so presumptuous, as if I would be devoted to photography forever. I do not deny the possibility that I will find a new focus tomorrow. Still, I quite enjoy being wilful. Compared with total concentration on one field, I get to see different scenery along the way.