My last lesson with Granny / 和阿嬤的最後一堂課

圖摘自游爲淳「小香與大樹」/ image from "Tammy and the Big Tree" by Weichuen You

一月二日早上六點半，家裡的電話響起，即使在睡夢中，我想應該是阿嬤走了的通知，我們隨便套上衣服，趕到醫院時，美麗已經為阿嬤整理好，那些看起來很礙眼的鼻管點滴都拿掉了，還戴上焦糖色的毛線帽，她看起來像個要出去玩的小女生，只是貪睡起不來，手指還是暖暖的，在等待葬遺社人員時，我摸了她好幾次臉龐，覺得這一切很不真實。

At six a.m. on the second day of 2015, the telephone rang. Though I was not awake, I guessed it was the call to inform us of Granny's departure. We dressed in a hurry, but Granny had already been gone by the time we left the apartment. When we arrived at the ward, Granny lay there looking ready to go. Without the intravenous drip and nasogastric tube, she simply looked like a little girl with her caramel knit hat on, but too tired to wake up. I caressed her face and hands several times, the latter still warm. Everything felt so real and unreal at the same time. 

        雖然這半年以來，阿嬤不斷地進出醫院，但從沒有令我覺得生病或死亡是難看的，她離開時也是一貫地溫暖和優雅。我們紛紛和美麗道謝，她已經好幾天眼眶紅紅的，畢竟她陪了阿嬤九年半，對於阿嬤的狀況比我們都看在眼裡，她說：照顧阿嬤我也很開心。之後她給我看了幾張最近和阿嬤的自拍，照片裡的阿嬤剛洗完澡，還是一副想睡樣，看起來精神也不好，可是旁邊的美麗卻一點也不以為意。我記得的是沒有生病的阿嬤，而美麗和生病的阿嬤過每一天，好壞都接受了。

     Over the past six months, Granny went in and out of the hospital several times. She had such an aura that I never felt that being sick or dying is ugly. Her death is consistently warm and elegant. Bidding goodbye to Granny, we said thank-you to Meili, whose eyes had been red and swollen with tears in the past few days as well. Having been with Granny for nine and half years, she actually knows much more about Granny than any of us. She replied, "I had a good time taking care of her." Later she showed me some recent photos of Granny and their selfie. They were taken after Granny's shower. Her eyes were closed most of the time, but in the selfie, Meili still smiled happily. It's the healthy and beautiful Granny that I remember; however, Meili sees the good and bad days of Granny. It feels like even the sick Granny is still beautiful for her. 

        阿嬤要走的一個半月前，我開始一個人坐火車去看她，對我來說這是一種儀式，我想要花一點時間和阿嬤在一起，我們被日常生活的大小事困住了，以為自己沒有時間撥來學習衰老和死亡，可是當我開始這件事時，卻發現應該要早一點做的，所以這兩天我想到這半年以來的阿嬤時很傷心，因為想到她的老化，卻忘了之前那八十九點五年是充滿光亮的。在我們不知忙什麼的同時，美麗和阿嬤有好多故事，他們之間有某種親暱和依賴，是我和阿嬤沒有的，對於這點我有種羨慕又嫉妒的心情。

     One and half months ago, I started the ritual of taking the train to visit Granny alone. I wanted to spend some time alone with her. Most of the time we are trapped by the trifles in our everyday lives, believing that we can't spare any time to learn about aging and death until it is our turn. Nevertheless, I found it was all too late when I began. That is why I felt very sentimental about Granny's change over the past few months; that is because I forget to look at the previous 89.5 years of light. While we were busy with this and that, Meili and Granny had so many stories together. There was a kind of intimacy and dependence that Granny and I didn't have. I can't help feeling envious and jealous. 

        一個人從醫院離開回家的路上，是自我療癒的時間，很久沒有像這樣掉眼淚了，沿途經過早晨的信義區，精品店也都還沒醒，我想著阿嬤坐在我身邊，開啟第一趟自由後的城市之旅，不知道她會不會還是喜歡七堵的純樸？

     On my way home from the hospital, I went on a self-healing bus ride. I hadn't shed tears like this for many years. As I passed by the department stores in Xin-yi District, the boutiques were still sleeping. I imagined Granny sitting next to me on her first city tour after the liberation. I wondered if she still prefers the simple town of Chi-du to the luxurious Taipei city?

Another step / 又一步

今年年初找到了台北市最老的楓香。春天的時候，小蕙問我有沒有寫書的計畫，我說總有一天。五月偶然發現環境署辦的繪本比賽，雖然當時離截止日期只剩一個月，我卻相信自己可以做到，於是我就用三個星期做了一本書。在準備的過程中，楓香樹給了我很大的力量，我充滿了信念，然後很幸運地得到了佳作。

After finding the oldest tree in Taipei, the sweet gum tree at the beginning of the year, Huei asked if I had the plan to write a picture book for it. It was spring, and I didn't feel ready then. In May, I occasionally found the picture book contest held by the Environmental Protection Administration. By the time I learned about it, there was merely one month away from the deadline, but somehow I wanted more than ever to participate in it. During the process of preparation, I was full of faith and power, which I believe came from the tree. Very luckily, my work won the special mention prize. 

        頒獎地點選在台灣博物館土銀展示館，是很古典雅緻的建築。

   The award ceremony takes place in Taiwan Land Bank Exhibition Hall, National Taiwan Museum, which is an extremely classical building. 

        我很喜歡木造的屋頂，今天才發現台灣有這麼美麗的博物館呢！

   To be honest, I didn't know that we have such a beautiful museum in Taiwan! The wooden roof is my favorite. 

        這個比賽有分教案組和繪本組，繪本組的評審很熱心地提點獲選作品的優缺點。

   There are two categories in the contest--teaching plans and picture books. The judge points out the strengths and weaknesses of the winning picture books. 

        會中還播映前三名的繪本作品，第三名的得主陳潤芃小姐之前在信誼的比賽也得獎了。

   The top three picture books are turned into audio books presented to the audience. The winner of the third place, Ms. Chen, was also a winner in the picture book contest held by Hsin-y Foundation earlier this year. 

        第二名的作品「大樹開花」用很精細的剪紙作為表現技法，以種植大樹爲主旨，小方邊看還和我說：這和你的故事有相似的地方喔！

   The winner of the second place "Blossoming Trees" impresses the viewer with its fine paper-cutting technique while the theme of the book is about planting trees. As we watch the story, Von can't help whispering to me: You two have similar stories!" 

        第一名的作品「海邊診所」被評為幾近零缺點，畫面和文字都很簡單，可是很有力道。

   The winner of the first place "The Clinic by the Sea" is viewed as almost perfect by the jury. The images and text are extremely simple, but the story is really impressive. 

        主辦單位還準備好幾道用在地食材做成的小點，令人感受到他們的用心。

   The sponsor prepares snacks made from local agricultural crops, which warms our hearts. 

        畫繪本的都長得好漂亮！

   Picture book artists are all so beautiful! 

        頒獎典禮還有一個很棒的地方─有小小的分享會，讓我從別人身上學習，收集到很多好點子。

   Something wonderful about the ceremony is that every winner is invited to share their inspirations and experiences about making their books. I have thus learned much from the others and collected many great ideas. 

        孩子們帶著花束跑進我們的大合照裡。

   The kids run into our group picture with big bouquets of flowers.

        楷維很喜歡我的獎杯，我是帶最多親友去的人，感謝大家都來為加油！

   Kai loves my trophy a lot. I am the person that brings the most visitors with me. Many thanks to my family who come to cheer for me. 

        會後和評審請益，老師說我的文字還要再更精簡，有些圖也要更洗練，這席話是我今天最大的收穫。

   I talk to one of the judges about how to improve my work. She suggests that I work on the text and some images. Her advice is the most important reason why I have to be there in the ceremony today. 

        台博館土銀館真是令人驚艷，一走進去我便想到倫敦的自然歷史博物館，但我更加喜歡台博館，當時抱著夢想去倫敦，現在在台北實現夢想了，我愛我的當下。

   National Taiwan Museum is a really amazing place. In fact, the moment I walk in, I think of the Natural History Museum in London. However, I like the one here more. I went to London with a dream, and I am on my way to realizing the dream step by step here in Taipei. I don't love anything else more than my present. 

        最重要的是，我和我愛的人在一起！孩子們總是和我一起做繪本，當我的聽眾和小編輯，沒有他們我就不會得獎！

   Most important of all, I am with those who I love. The boys always work with me when I make picture books. They are not only my readers but also my editors. Without them, I wouldn't be here! 

The 26th Award Ceremony of Hsin Yi Picture Book Contest / 信誼第26屆幼兒文學獎

上次參加信誼幼兒文學獎頒獎典禮已經是五年前的事了，現在回想起來，其實有沒有入圍或得獎都要來看一看才行。

Last time when I went to the award ceremony of Hsin Yi picture book contest, it was five years ago. Now when I look back, I feel that whether I've won or not, I should come for a look. 

        典禮上邀請到許多兒童文學界重量級的人物和入圍的諸多年輕藝術家，是令人很振奮人心的場合。

   Many heavyweight figures in Taiwan's children's literature circle were invited along with many super young selected artists. I felt so moved to be part of all this. 

        事前便知道我沒有得佳作或首獎，但是我一點也沒有感傷的心情，，看到很多好作品就很開心了。

   I knew that I didn't win the final award  beforehand, but I didn't feel upset at all. In fact, I was more than happy to see so many wonderful works. 

       今年的首獎從缺，有三名佳作，兩名獲獎人是二十多歲的年輕女孩巫宇庭和林潤芃，最後一組是雙人創作，左邊的許智偉先生說他參加好幾次了，這真是很鼓勵人的話語啊！最棒的是頒獎人是永遠的小太陽林良老師。

   This year there was no first place. There were three winners of second place, two of whom are young girls in their early 20s. As for the third group, the winners said they are not that young.  Mr. Hsu on the left encouraged us by saying that he had participated several times. Best of all, Mr. Lin Liang was there too. He is the father of children's literature in Taiwan. 

       主辦單位認為這幾年的作品圖勝於文，所以今年徵件的項目恢復圖畫書文字獎，希望可以有好故事讓插畫家來詮釋。

   The judges have the impression that the works over the past few years have been more impressive in terms of pictures. Most artists can work on their story-narrating skills. Thus, there's the category of picture-book narratives in the coming competition. Hopefully, there will be more good stories for illustrators to work with. 

        感謝我的好朋友們蕙玲和美燕來陪伴我，很貼心的主辦單位還安排了美麗美味的下午茶，我們在我的小恐龍家庭前留影。

   I would like to thank my good friends Huiling and Meiyen for being there for me. Hsin Yi prepared really yummy afternoon tea for us to enjoy. We took a picture in front of my dinosaur family. 

        而頒獎典禮之後有小野先生的演講，主題是如何說一個好故事，雖然小野沒教任何的寫作技巧，我們卻在他說的無數故事裡又哭又笑，這就是說故事高手的功力吧！

   The famous writer Hsiao Yeh was invited to give a talk on how to tell a good story. Though he didn't teach any writing skills, we laughed with tears during the whole speech. He definitely showed how a good story-teller should be. 

        今天過後我要更加努力，一輩子都要寫故事和畫故事！

   This is such an uplifting day. After today, I will definitely work harder and dedicate my life to writing and illustrating stories! 

Miss Moon 2 / 思思與月亮 2

拖了三個月，我終於送印有名字的書檔，雖然只是小小的五個字，卻有非凡的意義。書印出來和老闆詢問印刷的問題，他說其實很多數位印刷的問題是大量印刷可以避免的，我說：再給我一點時間，有一天我一定有機會的。

I put off sending to print the book version with my name on it for three months. Though they are only five small words, they make a whole world's difference. When I pick the books, I inquire about some printing problems with the printing shop technician. He says many problems of digital printing can be avoided in traditional printing. I said, "OK, give me some time. I'll get the opportunity to have my work printed in huge numbers."

        我也在自己的書櫃裡了，想著我的書對其他世界級的繪本說：初次見面你好！

   I find myself in my bookshelf, imagining my book saying to other world-class books: Nice to meet you! 

        不知道有沒有機會和全世界說這本書的故事，是八歲的小方睡不著的故事，他在睡前總想著各種擔心，甚至擔憂以後會不會結婚，有自己的孩子，雖然我自己都還沒實現同樣的願望，我卻可以堅定地和他說，一定沒有問題的！朋友在試讀的時候紛紛說這是他們最喜歡的圖，我想其中有我無限的想望和祝福吧！

   I don't know if I'll get a chance to tell the world about the book. It's a story about the eight-year-old Von, who can't fall asleep. He tosses and turns at night because of all sorts of worries. He even worries if he'll get married and have his own children in the future. Though I am still single with no children, I have the firm faith that he will. When my friends read the book, they find the picture their favorite. I bet it's because they can feel my longings and best wishes too! 

相關故事 / related post entries: 

小方的生日禮物 / Von's eight-year-old birthday gift

楷維的監督 / Kai was a strict supervisor 

終於把書送出去了 /  I finally sent the book to the competition 

My Book / 我的書

過了兩個星期每天做數小時電腦排版的生活，今天終於把我的書送去信誼比賽了。這兩週裡得到很多人的幫助，包括家人看了我同一張圖無數個版本，辦公室的同事每天被我糾纏問Indesign和Photoshop，連印刷公司的員工也無償地幫我修檔案，遠在義大利的凱特也拉我一把。好像是說，當你很想達到某個目標時，全世界都會聯合起來幫助你。

I spent hours doing the layout for my book every day during the past two weeks. Today I finally sent the book to the publisher for the picture book contest. God showered me with help during this period of time. There was Caterina in Italy, who read the book for me before I started the layout design. My family had to go through the repeated process of selecting the best image out of several similar ones for me. My colleague Anna in the office was constantly pestered because of my ignorance in Indesign and Photoshop. Even the employees in the printing company offered their help without charging me extra. I feel because I wanted to achieve the goal really badly, the whole world was united to help my dream come true. 

印成書之後念給楷維聽，聽到我說這本書之後就會離開我們一陣子，他很捨不得。不過當我的星星正在飛翔之際，離下個比賽的時間不到一個月，我心裡還有好多好多要說的故事⋯

After I had the book printed, I read it to Kai. He didn't want to part with the book upon hearing that it would be away for a while. Well, when my stars are flying, I have less than one month before the next competition is due. And there are so many other stories I want to tell...