Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Bon Courage / 加油

雖然我每天出入教室,我並不是很喜歡長期待在教室裡,那樣小小的空間,塞滿了四十幾個人的心情,互相喜歡和憎惡的情緒,在安靜的表面下衝突著,對我來說是很壓抑的。

Classrooms are my workplace, but I don't quite like to stay in there for hours. The small space is crammed with the feelings of more than forty people. Love and hatred clash under the quiet surface. I find the air to be stifling.

但是當我一邊回想著過往的高中生活,發現自己懷念的也是那種和身邊的人們緊密相處而衍生出的了解,誰哪一陣子特別沉迷於哪一齣連續劇,或者誰特別迷戀哪一位老師,並且互相調侃,這些都只屬於教室裡每天十個小時的共同時光,不在那個空間裡的人是不能感受到的。

But when I look back on my high school life, I realize the part I miss the most is what we knew about one another in spending so much time together. For example, I got to know who was crazy about certain TV series at a certain point and who had a crush on a certain teacher. Then we made fun of each other. These details only belong to the ten hours we had together in the classroom every day. Those who were not in there couldn't feel anything like that.

開始在教室速寫之後,我得以用比較平靜的眼光看待教室裡的氣氛,從觀察目標人物的五官特徵到桌上的物品,我像是重新認識每一個人的樣子,並且得以發現女孩的美麗。這些生活中的細節很瑣碎,卻也可以充滿意義,以後我會很想念在這個教室的片刻。

After I started sketching the girls, I learned to think of the atmosphere in the classroom with a calm mind. I had a brand-new understanding about everyone from observing their features and the objects placed on their desks. Then I found their beauty. These details can be very trivial, but they can be full of significance. I think I'll miss the moments I have spent in this classroom, with these people.

儘管如此,大家不能因為這樣而不上大學吧!離開才會更想念,所以,請打起勁認真赴考去吧!加油囉!

Despite my sentimentality, everyone still has to move on. And it is only after we leave that we begin to miss what we used to have. Just do your best in the exam. Good luck and love for all of you!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

precious imperfection / 可貴的不完美

有好一陣子沒使用相機了,之前出門總是得再三確定隨身攜帶它,最近對它抱著可有可無的心理 。從國畫課到素描課,老師不斷地訴說,當場寫生和臨摹照片的差別,久而久之,我也開始相信看著靜態的相片,無法捕捉當下那一刻的精神,再加上最近對速寫產生的不明熱情,我終於領略老師話中的意境。

I haven't used my camera for a while. I always made sure it was with me before going somewhere, but lately I've had the feeling that I can do without it. From Chinese painting class last year to sketch class this semester, Jim has kept repeating the differences between sketching a moment and a photo. Little by little, I came to believe that a static picture can't capture the beauty of a certain instant. Morover, with my recent passion for sketching, I finally understood Jim's words, completely.

於是我學著拋開旁人的眼光,一旦找到有感覺的瞬間,便毫不猶豫拿出我的速寫本,本持著「畫了再說」的信仰,就算是自己也覺得是張不怎麼樣的作品,還是要勇敢地畫下去,因為事後回頭來看,那一刻的感受會完整地在心底呈現,人生追求的也不過是這些吉光片羽啊!

So I learned to disregard people's criticism. Once I find a moment which impresses me, I take out my sktech book without hesitation. The faith "Draw it first" supports me through many occasions that are not so personal. Even though it might turn out to be a more-than-ordinary piece of work and it is most of the time, I still want to draw on. When I look back, the feelings of that instant will be re-presented intact through the pages. What many people are after in life is no more than these moments that shine.

「上車了!」在我們短暫的員工半日遊,同事大聲吆喝著旅行的終點,我也想過,如果我有更多的時間,一定會畫得更好,不過,那又會是另一個故事了吧!

"All aboard!" On our half-day outing for the school faculty, my colleague yelled the finish point of the short trip. It occurred to me that if I had more time, I would come up with better works. But that would be another moment, another story...

Sunday, January 20, 2008

cafe 79 / 79號咖啡館

基隆的冬天一如往常,雨滴滴答答落著,空氣中有種爬進皮膚地下的寒意。母親領我到咖啡館之後,便下樓和委託行的老闆娘聊天。小小的咖啡店裡,安安靜靜的,只有一名看報紙的中年男子。我坐下來,盯著窗外隨風飄搖的吊飾盆栽,在這個雨濛濛的城市裡突然感到有些孤單。

Winter in Keelung has always been like that. The rain drops unceasingly, and the cold air creeps under my skin. After Mom leads me to the cafe, she goes downstairs to have her routine chat with the boutique owner. In the small, quiet coffee shop, there is only one middle-aged man reading newspapers. I sit down, staring at the fragile ferns flowing in the wind. Loneliess catches me, in this gray and rainy city.

不久,我陷入速寫的專心裡,我的耳朵便接手雙眼的工作:有位常客進來了,小姐泡完咖啡後,兩人話著家常;收音機傳來輕柔空靈的歌聲,很適合這個有點憂鬱的午後;常客離開後,咖啡館又恢復沉默好一陣子;母親進門時的清脆門鈴聲;小姐製作鬆餅噴奶油的聲音;樓下推著攤子的歐巴桑不時喊著:「買豆花喔!」

Soon, I am engrossed in sketching. My ears then take over the job of observing the world around me--an acquaintance comes; after the beautiful cafe owner serves the coffee, they two start a chat in low whispers; a soft and ethereal voice from the radio forms the background sound, which is perfect for this blue afternoon; after the old customer leaves, the cafe resumes its silence; when Mom comes in, the bell rings; the lady squeezes fresh cream onto the waffles; an old peddler downstairs keeps shouting, "Come for some been curds!"

我沒有抬起頭,卻有一種很安心的感覺,冬季的79號咖啡館被聲音包圍著,暖烘烘的。

I do not raise my head all the while, but I feel reassured. Cafe 79 in winter is surrounded by all kinds of sounds, and it is thus warm...

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Dunkin Donuts

那天中午的Dunkin Donuts很冷清,有閒小坐的顧客不外談心的歐巴桑,打盹的老人,或有約的上班族。我四處張望,尋覓我的下一位模特兒,此時面前的中年男子邊讀文件,不一會兒就睡著了,他有著極生動的睡姿,我不禁暗自感謝上帝,這樣的模特兒可是天上掉下來的大禮物。

Dunkin Donuts that noon was half empty. The working day did not allow people to have a petit break except for two middle-aged ladies who came for a heart-to-heart talk, the old fellow dozing, and some office workers waiting for their clients. I looked around, searching for my next model. The man sitting right in front of me was reading, but it didn't take him long to fall asleep. He had this excellent posture even when sleeping. I couldn't help thanking God for endowing me with such a lovely gift.

男人剛走進來的時候,有些焦躁,用手機催促遲到的友人,感覺像是在職場上打滾多年,已經油里油氣,絕對不是個第一眼會吸睛的人。但是速寫有種神奇的效果,我一邊記錄他臉上的線條,居然越畫越覺得它們是美麗的,尤其是那些男人醒著時,看不見的滄桑。

When the man first walked in, he was sort of impetuous, talking fast to his acquaintance on the phone and reminding her to hurry. He might have worked for years, so there was something over-sophiscated about his looks. He was by no means an attractive person. Yet sketching conjures up amazing, unexpected effects. While I was recording the lines on his face, little by little, I found them to be beautiful. These were the traces of age that I hadn't seen when he was awake.

原來有些人的魅力是透過速寫才看得到的,他們的美麗不下於我們用傳統價值界定為漂亮的型男靚女。

I've learned that some people's charm has to be seen through sketching. Their beauty is not less than that of those we define as good-looking according to conventional criteria.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

traveling day / 旅行日

我們總是說著,找不到答案就去旅行吧,我不再說這句話,因為我安靜地出發了。我的起點和終點都是熟悉再不過的舊地,但是因為心情和季節不同,看到的景色也很新鮮。冬天不是荷花盛開的季節,池子裡有些空蕩,還好有閃亮的陽光,荷花用力地打起精神,耐心等待夏季。

We keep saying that we should take a trip when the answers we are looking for are nowhere to be found. I have stopped saying it, because I am on my way. My beginning point and final destination are places I can't be more familiar with. But I travel in a different state of mind and season, so I get to see fresh scenes. Winter is not the blooming season for lotus. The pond appears kind of empty. Fortunately, the sun still shines, so it seems the flowers try to pull themselves together and wait for the comeback of summer with patience.

在寫寫畫畫裡,我偶然抬頭望向窗外的藍天,我想到多年前和我同來此地的你,正在飛往歐洲的途中,好一陣子不會回來了。

Taking a break from scribbling, I glimpse at the blue sky out of the window. I think of you, who came here with me many years ago. At this moment, you are on your way to Europe, and you won't be coming back for a while.

旅行日裡,每一個人都朝自己的目的地邁進。
On the traveling day, everyone sets out for his own destination...

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Friday, January 04, 2008

Your Embrace / 你的擁抱

你的擁抱讓全世界的花都開了‧‧‧

Your embrace makes all the flowers blossom...



Wednesday, January 02, 2008

THE PAST / 過去種種

大家紛紛向我祝賀新年快樂,我卻還在想過去的一些人和事。2007的最後一個月恰巧有機會收到舊友們的問候,原本只是放在心上的回憶,找到了回家的路,我的心情也變得異常高昂,原來不只我還惦記著逝去的美好時光,一切像是天上掉下來的驚喜。

Friends sent me their best wishes for the new year one after another, but part of me still lives in the past. In the last month of 2007, I happened to get back in touch with some really "old" friends. Suddenly, all the memories that have been put aside found their way home. I couldn't help but feel exhilarated. It turned out that I was not the only person that still looked back on the old bygone days. It wa a huge surprise that I hadn't expected.

回憶的線越拉越長,越拉越廣,除了我們交集的部分,我想要延伸到我們分開之後的日子,那卻是我不認得的廣大國土,我無從起頭,因為我不在裡面,如果我還允許自己走下去,很容易就會迷路、失落。從前是很美麗,但是我只有小小的位置,新的人生不停地覆蓋在我渺小的存在上。

The thread of memories stretched. Apart from our days together, I wanted to visit their days without me. Yet that was a vast, foreign land. I didn't know where to begin, since I wasn't in it. I might get lost and feel lost if I allowed my willfulness to rule. The past is beautiful, but there is only very small room for me. New experiences keep pushing me back to the corner.

所以我不貪心,如果說遺忘是人生的常態,我便是獲得,因為在一片遺忘裡,你的回憶還找得到我,在眾多生活經歷裡擠得黑壓壓的回憶,有一條細細小小、點著燈的小徑,你若回頭看,可以感受到溫暖和笑聲。

So I decide not to be greedy. Forgetting is part of life, and I gain from it. In all that oblivion, your memory finds me. In the dark, crampled room of memories, there is a narrow, lighted path. If you look back, you'll feel warmth and laughter.

新年快樂!

Happy New Year to you all!